Men also have their share of secrets that they hide from women. Read on to what are things that your man will never tell you.
As written by a man.
Menย arenโt exactly known for being forthcoming.
Thereโs the stereotype of the stoic cowboy or theย tough, quiet manly-man, but the reality is that, more often than not, men arenโt raised to express their feelings.ย Theyโre told to suck it up, keep it together, lock it down.
And, while that might make them seem cool and strong to some, what is also means is thisย โย YOUR MAN HAS SECRETS. (He does.) Your man has a vivid internal life that he does not share with others. That doesnโt apply to EVERY man, of course. Some men never stop talking about their inner selves.
But itโs really, really common for men to learn the value of keeping things to themselves at an early age.
They can be small things (โThat skirt makes you look like the librarian in Ghost bustersโ) or big things (โI donโt want to die aloneโ).
Regardless, most menย doย have aย running list of secretsย that they donโt really want to admit to anyone, especially someone theyโreย falling in love with.
If youโre interested in the secret lives of men, 10 big, common things that your man will probably never, ever tell you.
1. Heโs insecure about his body.
He is. Even if heย looks like David Beckham.
Men might not always pay attention to their personal hygiene, but that doesnโt mean that heโs notย hyper-sensitive about every love handle, wrinkle, or graying hair on his body.
He might wear the same hoodie every day, but he still worries that heโs not as pretty as he once was.
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2. He doesnโt have anyone to talk to.
Male friendships are decidedly different than female friendships.
One of the biggest differences is that, typically, men donโt use their friends as a sounding board for whatโs going on in their lives. They might discuss vacation plans, TV shows, or how things are going at work, but way too often,ย men donโt feel comfortable talking with their buddiesย about life, death, anxiety, fear, and everything in between. So, men hide these things from their friends as well as women.
And thatโs a shame. Itโs a lonely shame.
Keep that in mind the next time your man is struggling to discuss the BIG issues with you. He doesnโt get a lot of practice.
3. He likesย The Gilmore Girls.
He does. Itโs smart, funny, well-acted.
But thereโs WAY more of a social stigma of him being aย Gilmore Guyย than you being intoย Sons of Anarchy,ย so maybe thatโs why he doesnโt always advertise that heโs on #TeamJess.
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4. No one compliments him.
Men get a lot of validation in school and office settings, but there isnโt really a culture that supportsย men receiving casual complimentsย from their peers.
Are you mad that your man didnโt notice your new jeans? When was the last time you noticed his new shirt? Or the last time you told him that he looked great when it wasnโt a special occasion?
Men need the same kind of validation that women need โ theyโre just not good at asking for it.
5. He doesnโt know what heโs doing during Physical intimacy.
He doesnโt. Heโs making it up as he goes. And thereโs some pressure there becauseย maintaining an erection isnโt always the easiest thing to do.
Even if the spirit is willing, the flesh can be weak, and thatโs a soul-crushingly embarrassing thing to have happen during the throes of passion. (He canโt help it.)
Plus itโs WAY harder to make youย orgasmย than it is to make him orgasm.
Which, granted, sucks for you, but it just adds to the pressure placed on his shoulders.
6. Sometimes he pees in a bottle.
He does. And occasionally in sinks. More often than youโd think.
He knows that itโs gross โฆ but itโs not THAT gross and heโs pretty proud of how adaptive his peeing ability is.
7. He likes kids.
It can be hard to admit this because society isย VERY weird about grown men and children.
When a dad takes his kids to the park, way too often, moms give him the suspicious stink-eye the whole time. And, if one of his kidsโ friends falls down and skins their knee, he canโt hug and comfort the crying child without being hyper-aware ofย whoโs watching and judging every word and action.
Yes, he knows that, statistically, more men abuse children than women, but it still feels awful to be perpetually presumed guilty of attempted pedophilia when heโs just trying to take his niece to the playground.
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8. He doesnโt know what you did with your hair.
Unless you do something REALLY drastic, thereโs a better-than-average chance thatย your man might not notice if you get highlightsย or chop off an inch here or there.
But thatโs not because he doesnโt pay attention to you. Itโs because โ men have boring hair. The vast majority of men REALLY do not have ANYTHING interesting going on up there.
Realize that your man probably doesnโt even have the verbal or visual vocabulary to recognize what your hairdresser did today.
Heโs not being apathetic. And he knows itโs not at allย romantic that he has no clue.
He just doesnโt know what to look for, so cut him some slack.
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9. It hurts when you hit him.
Remember when you got pissed at your boyfriend/husband and angrily slapped him? Or punched him in the back a few times? It hurt. It even left a mark.
But men arenโt supposed to admit that. And your man finds it particularly worrisome because he knows that if he did the same thing back to you, heโd probably be in the back of a cop car right now. (Rightly so.)
Yes, men are bigger, but it doesnโt mean that the same rules donโt apply when it comes toย angry physical contact.
Abuse is abuse. Donโt hit him.
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10. Heโs afraid.
Other things that men hide from you are that heโs afraid of losing his job, getting sick, going crazy, dying alone.
He has all of the same anxieties and fears that you doย (and a few that are uniquely his own). But he doesnโt know how to deal with them.
He doesnโt have friends to talk his fears over with, his parents mightโve stigmatized getting help with his issues, and he doesnโt want to look weak in front of his girlfriend/wife/special friend.
So, even if your man talks a big game, realize that heโs as scared and human as the rest of us. He might never admit it in mixed company, but, if you really know him, youโll be able to see it behind his eyes without him ever having to say a word.
And, if you can be there to hold his hand during those long, lonely nights, without him having to ask, heโll be more grateful than you can ever imagine.
What other things do you think men hide from women?
Written by Tom Burns
Originally appeared in Yourtango
Republished with permission.
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