Letting go someone you loved can be one of the most heartbreaking things you can ever do.
Sadly, sometimes it is the one thing that can set you free from all the negativity and help you attract new love.
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli
Letting go of a relationship can seem like something impossible at times.
It’s not uncommon that people keep thinking of their first love for many years after. And I dare to say that most of the people get stuck thinking about the past love longer than they want.
First of all, you need to be crystal clear – on every level of your being – that you actually want to let go.
The benefits of letting go of a relationship
The art of letting go isn’t easy. But it’s highly beneficial.
By freeing up the past, you also release the extra energy you were spending on your past relationships.
1. You can imagine that each time you think of something you invest your energy there. Each day you wake up with a certain amount of energy that you can spend. If you spend too much on your past, then you lack the energy to invest in the present moment.
2. Another benefit (out of many) for letting go of a relationship is that by thinking of it, you unconsciously recreate a similar situation in your current relationship. Or you might not even recognize when someone perfect is standing right in front of you because your mind is living in fairytale land.
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” – Deborah Reber
6 Tips on letting go of a relationship
1. Why is better for you NOT to let go?
As strange as it may sound, we keep certain situations in our lives because at some level we think them to be more beneficial.
We love the familiar, even if it’s painful.
You need to investigate your real motives for being stuck with your past relationship (or anything else you want to let go).
The reasons for holding onto a relationship can be numerous. Perhaps without realizing, you want to justify your feelings to that person. You still love them, but your mind believes that if you love them, then you must be in a relationship with them.
But since you aren’t with them (anymore), it needs to create something more special from what you experienced together. The solution here would be to accept that you can love someone even if they don’t love you back. There is never anything wrong with love.
2. Process your feelings
The next step is to process your feelings to them.
Do you still hold on to some resentment or suppressed anger?
Or have they hurt you but you haven’t allowed yourself to feel the pain?
If you can’t let go of something, then you have some unprocessed feelings. Always.
Here is an exercise to help you:
Find a quiet place – it can take up to 30 min – and close your eyes. Then connect with the strongest feeling to that person as thoroughly as you possibly can. And then simply stay present with that feeling. Allow yourself to move through all the layers of that emotion. Until you feel relief and like the energy around you has shifted.
3. Discover the lesson it’s supposed to teach you
“I must let go of the life I’ve planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for me.” – Kumar Anupam
From my coaching experience, I know that this is the most significant reason why it’s so difficult to let go of a relationship.