Ever wondered what makes certain men seem less attractive sometimes? What is it they do that puts you off immediately?
Attractiveness is a tricky beast and men often go wrong on a few things that make them less attractive.
It’s tempting to assume that attractiveness is summed up by your looks; throw together some perfect abs, teeth like chicklets, rock-hard pecs, a swimmer’s body, and a symmetrical face and you’re good to go.
But being attractive is far more complicated than that. Physical good looks can certainly help (and the definition of “good looks” can vary pretty damn significantly) but attraction isn’t purely about your bone structure and diet.
Attractiveness is a holistic attribute, something that encompasses your entire being and it’s almost shockingly easy to change.
The problem is that many men are accidentally sabotaging their own appeal. Just as there are subtle things that can make you more attractive, there are ways that you can actually make yourself less attractive.
Let’s talk about some of the most common ways otherwise attractive people shoot themselves in the foot.
1) You’re Passive
One of the worst things you can do when it comes to attraction is, nothing.
Hold on, allow me to explain.
One of the oldest tropes – quite possibly the oldest – is loving somebody from afar, yet never actually doing anything about it.
Oh sure, there’re REASONS why you can’t possibly confess your feelings but the fact remains that you’re sitting there doing absolutely nothing and wondering why your beloved never notices you.
Look, I get it. You’re afraid of rejection, and for a lot of guys, it’s easier to live in the permanent fantasy of hope than to collapse the quantum state and get a definitive answer.
But the fact of the matter is it’s kind of pathetic. It’s an excuse to keep hope alive and not have to do anything; after all, why chase anyone else when you have your One True Love to think about?
But cold hard truth time: nobody likes the guy who does nothing. They’re the ones sitting there continually complaining about something without ever actually taking steps to resolve the issue.
The longer you let it sit, the sadder it gets and – worse – the larger it looms in your mind. If you’re interested in someone and want that relationship to actually happen, you have to actually make your move.
Wining about how sad it is that it never happened when you never did a damn thing is not only going to turn off your crush but the other, incredibly awesome people around you who might otherwise have been interested in you.
Now in fairness: there’re many men who aren’t naturally aggressive or who don’t fit into the traditional gender role of “man-as-aggressor” in relationships.
And that’s fine but there’s a difference between being the receptive partner and the guy who’s sat around with the same love note he wrote four years ago and never got around to sending.
As many, many women can tell you, making yourself approachable takes effort.
2) You Smell
You wouldn’t think this needs to be said but a lot of dudes need to be acquainted with some basic facts around hygiene.
Anyone who’s ever been to a comic or gaming convention is very, very intimately familiar with the concept of “con funk”.
Scent is an incredibly powerful sense; it’s intimately tied to memory and emotional response – even genetic compatibility (maybe).
But it also can play a massive role in whether or not people are going to want to take a roll in the hay with you.
We associate smell with health, fitness, and even social intelligence; after all, if you don’t recognize that rolling into the library reeking of boiled cabbage and ass is going to bother people, then you’re probably not going to be good relationship material.
But this goes beyond simple matters of remembering to shower and throw on some Speed Stick. See, some folks go in the opposite direction.
Just as a guy who smells like he’s smuggling gefilte fish in his armpits is going to get shot down, so too does the guy who smells like he’s showered in Axe.
Just as people at cons know about clouds of geek body odor, people who’ve spent time in bars and clubs are familiar with the guys who roll in wearing eye-watering levels of cologne.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a 20 year old bottle of Drakkar Noir or a $200 bottle of Yves St. Laurent, it takes very little to go beyond a pleasant scent to a walking chemical warhead.
And then there’s your breath.