This is your reminder that you don’t need anyone else to complete you. You need to practice self-love.
You never need the people who left you behind, and even the people who are about to come to your life.
If you just give yourself enough time alone, you’ll realize that you can happily live in this world on your own. You’ll realize that real joy is found in your own strength, passion, abilities, beauty, and soul. Not in the people you wish to be with. Not in the people you wish had stayed. And no, they were not able to take part of you. You’re created with built-in independence. You’re created to walk in this world fearlessly with your own two feet.
Stop listening to the lie that whispers you’re deficient.
Your longing for someone who you think is the missing puzzle of your life is just a lie. A lie that convinces you you’re not enough. A lie that makes you feel insufficient. A lie that daunts you in pursuing a more wonderful life that you alone can achieve.
You have to learn to trust and embrace everything God planted in you the day you were conceived. And that everything is enough for you to survive and grab your dreams. That’s why He gives you tough times; He wants you to use the incredible strength you possess. You don’t need anybody. Yours is just whole enough to help you make it through.
When it comes to love, it always starts and ends with self-love.
Self-love is the beginning of true love and the limitation of unconditional love. Because you cannot express the truest and purest form of love without having given it to yourself first; and you cannot just show unconditional love without realizing it still has limitations. Self-love teaches you that making someone responsible for satiating your emotional needs will just leave you disenchanted.
Self-love magnifies your wholeness because once you stop chasing after people and start focusing on yourself, you will then find the happiness of not being desperate.
It’s okay to wish for another person’s love. It’s okay to wait for it. But it’s never okay to consider it a missing part of you. Rather, consider it a bonus. A gift that you can live without. Because the most important love—self-love—has already been fulfilled in you. And that’s just enough for you to go on.
Wholeness is not easy to realize and live by, so give yourself some time.
It’s okay. It really takes time. It takes deep pondering. An open, vigilant mind. Effort. In order for you to fully understand that you are whole, you have to assemble every part of you. Have the initiative to pull yourself together. Change your perspectives and slowly detach yourself from the people you’ve clung so tightly to. Break free from your past and just remember how fine you were doing before people came and left.
Focus on loving yourself instead. Indulge in your passion. Chase dreams. Build an empire. Grow your wisdom. Inspire others. Learn how to handle pain independently because you have to understand that not everyone can and will save you. Spare yourself from future, unimportant heartaches that are caused by depending too hard on people. You only need you.
And if someone knocks on your door, be thankful. Welcome them. But if they leave as what others did, be thankful as well. Because you know nothing of you has been stolen, hence you can still be happy.
You are whole on your own. And you’ll always be.
Written by Karla Crisostomo
Originally appeared on Thought Catalog
Printed with permission from the author
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