A wound mate may be a soul mate who is not ready, willing, or able to do the essential soul work needed to grow, both for oneself and in a relationship.
Getting a soulmate is an absolute bliss but for some, that special person may be a wound mate.
In the contours of our life, we meet people; some pass by as strangers, some remain in the boundaries of friends and acquaintances while there are some with whom we tend to move beyond friendship.
Conversations, sharing of thoughts, moments, experiences culminate in bringing us closer to that person, and with due course of time and mutual reciprocation, we embrace the notion that finally, we have found our soulmate.
Committing to your soulmate is the easiest part of the journey.
Living up to the commitment with love is perhaps the acid test where one understands if at all the partner is a soulmate or a wound mate.
When we say that life is a bed of roses, we miss out on the thorns. Yes, life is definitely not easy. Initially, when two people start seeing each other with the interest to take the relationship forward, they put forward their best of behavior.
The joy of finding the soulmate is precious; similar wavelength, faith in similar philosophies of life, understanding each other and a number of other things play the cupid to mature the bond.
But the thorns come into the picture once the two soulmates are united. Slowly with the passage of time, we tend to realize that our soulmate is perhaps not the soulmate we thought them to be, rather they are the wound mate.
We meet a lot of people in our lives, and some turn out to be the best, while the others turn out to be the exact opposite. But, one thing it does for sure, and that is make us understand and know ourselves better.
If we are constantly focusing on the negatives that happen in our lives, or have happened in our lives, we will keep on attracting wound mates. This will also lead us to repeat and experience the same dysfunctions over and over again.
The reasons are simple. Nobody is perfect. The nature of our surroundings is in constant flux and putting the effort in our understanding of the world, in our understanding of people will reveal if at all our soulmates are wound mates and whether the issues can be resolved or not.
The present form of each one of us is made up of our past memories and experiences. There’s a veneer of joy, pain, anger, unrest attached to our memories of the past.
Related: 6 Steps To Finding Your Soul Mate
As human beings, we are social animals and sail along with the wave of time. The person who said that time heals wounds tricked us into believing that all past wounds can be healed. But wounds have the tendency to come out given the right environment.
Starting a relationship and living in it with our soulmate are completely two different things. It is during this time of living together that the veneer falls off.
It might get triggered by the soulmate themselves. Now, the question comes is how the other person deals with it. It is not possible to understand each and every vibe but a real soulmate will sense the nature of the energy around and act accordingly.
Choosing any of the seven deadly sins is the wrong move. If the soulmate decides to go against the tide, then perhaps it’s time to rectify that particular decision of our lives.
Love and compassion are the keys to heal wounds. It is through this mutual understanding, showing empathy, the companionship that the soulmate can render positive vibes and dispel the negativities of the past, helping the better-half feel comfortable, relaxed, and happy with life.
We are all a mixture of positive and negative energy. At times, one or the other form of these energies become strong and influence our behavior.
This, in turn, affects our relationship with people around us. Soulmates share negative energies too.
But it’s their nature of dealing which distinguishes a soulmate from a wound mate. We all have darker sides. Situations might trigger these and we tend to be violent or even abusive.
A soulmate will not move away from such situations. Rather, they will try to understand the underlying cause and heal these negative forces with love because love is the only positive force in this cosmos which has the power to heal everything and bring stability to our life.
A soulmate will build a positive space for both of you to thrive in, and will always make sure that no undesirable situation goes out of hand, and down the drain. They will always make sure that there is a strong space for healing, and that both of you are surrounded by love, positivity, and compassion.
On the other hand, the wound mate will deflect and might even release their darker side too, making the situation more difficult for both the partners. This will hurt both the partners and space between them will grow, separating them from one another. When you are with a wound mate, all your pain, hurt, and negativity will come out, and you will be in a constant flux of doom and gloom.
You will continuously feel apprehensive to show the real and authentic you, due to the fear of being shamed, blamed, mocked, insulted, and ridiculed. Your wound mate will never respect you, and they will always find ways to disrespect you and break your heart.
Related: How To Recognize A Soul Mate: 10 Elements Of A Soul Mate
Respect comes in each and every sphere of life, be it personal or professional. It includes giving the due space to each other and understanding the emotional needs of each other. Respect, like love, plays a very positive role, the lack of which turns a soulmate into a wound mate.
Last but not the least, ego is one element that plays a crucial role in the relationship.
Your wound mate will always let their ego come in between you both, and they will focus on it more than your relationship and bond. But your soulmate will always strive to keep ego as far as possible from the relationship they share with you because they know the damage ego can do to your relationship.
Our universe attains stability by selfless love and when two people become soulmates, they unite as one soul where there is no place for selfishness. The moment ego enters the relationship, it will be wise to listen to the red alert.
“Wound-mates are those relationships that are sourced in unresolved emotional patterns, issues, and holdings. Not to be confused with soul-mates, which will also trigger shadowy material to the surface, but which hold a greater deal of promise. At the heart of soul-mate connections is an opportunity to work with the shadow in a growthful manner—working the material as grist for the soul mill—while wound-mates just flounder in the mud, trigger after the trigger, downward spiral after downward spiral, attached at the waste.” ~ Jeff Brown
Soulmates are hard to find and harder to keep. Sometimes, soulmates tend to become wound mates too. It depends on us to make our partners understand through love and compassion that adjusting, compromising, and showing empathy are the keys to nurturing a stable relationship.
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