Being a gentleman is not an overnight process. It’s a result of authentic life experiences and practices. Being raised by a gentle and caring father, I always thought of myself as lucky. It gives a sense of standard to me that I should be treated with respect by my husband and how my future son (if any) would treat his family.
It’s all about setting a good example of how one should treat others. Being a gentleman is not always having good manners, it’s about how he thinks of others and considers other people’s needs. And this I tell you, begins at home.
If your son is growing up with his siblings, he might have known the basics of how to take care of others, but that does not mean your single child will not be able to do his part. Don’t ever tell your son not to cry and become strong even if their emotions are in turmoil. You are turning him into a rock, and always remember that they need to feel their emotions, and express their feelings to be their most authentic self.
Yes, they are boys, and boys can be emotional too and this is completely natural. Being a mother, you can show them the feminine perspectives and that is how they learn to respect the other gender. But never, ever discriminate against him with your daughter, which gives them the wrong idea that ladies should only be protected and taken care of and men are not worthy of the same
Evolving into a gentleman is not easy but it’s not impossible either. Just some daily mindful activities and practices will help him get there. Here are our helpful tips in raising our boys to be a gentleman.
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How To Raise Your Son To Be A Gentleman: 10 Practical Ways
1. Teach Your Son To Hold The Door.
Maybe the first practice to teaching your child to be a gentleman. Now, this is not rocket science, but this gesture is generally becoming extinct. Asking him to hold the door for others teaches him to be respectful and considerate. Simple acts like leaving the seat for elderly people, letting someone walk first, etc. will show helpfulness and respect to others.
2. Teach Your Son To Show Sportsmanship.
As a parent, we all want our kids to win, in this pursuit, we forgot to teach them the most important thing in life, that losing is also okay as long as you are trying hard. One of the things I am used to seeing is kids disliking their competition and showing poor behavior. This behavior if is not stopped, then we know it will not end on a merry note. Tell your son to show empathy to those who lose and congratulate them who wins. That is how they develop strong sportsmanship in every phase of life.
3. Teach Your Son To Be Confident.
The first and foremost criteria for a gentleman is to be confident. Help them learn confidence in social gatherings, tell them to interact on their own, and challenge them to make new friends. Encourage them to be themselves, there is no need to pretend and hide their emotions.
4. Teach Your Son To Take Responsibility For Their Actions.
Children need to learn that it’s important to take responsibility for their actions and to own up to their mistakes. When they fail to do something or do something that they shouldn’t be doing, their natural instinct is to blame it on external circumstances or people. The trick is to keep your cool but shows dissatisfaction tactfully.
Help your young man understand the effects of their actions and encourage them to tell the truth whatever the circumstances are. Teach them to say sorry when they are wrong and that there is nothing to be ashamed about it. Ask what they could learn from the mistakes and after-effects, and praise them when they choose to be honest. That is how they will learn to take lessons from their mistakes and not indulge in blame-shifting.
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5. Lay The Foundation.
Children are the greatest copycats, but they are great observers too. Believe it or not, when you think you are fighting with your husband and your kids are too young to notice, they are watching and it takes a huge toll on their emotions. When you think it doesn’t matter you are not giving your leftover foods to the homeless poor man, they are actually observing you and learning.
Their subconscious mind is receiving a negative signal of what is normal. In order to change them, you need to change yourself. Lead by example, by showing empathy to the weak ones, respecting elders, and helping others lay a foundation of their beliefs.
6. Teach Your Son To Respect His Family.
Try to explain respect to children, and always praise and appreciate them when they are polite and respectful of others. Do little practices like eating with all the family members at dinner, leaving tv or phones when the family is having a conversation, etc. That is how you can teach them to put their family first.
If your child is rude or disrespectful, don’t turn a blind eye, remind them of the family rules and tell them that that is how a member of the family should talk. Respecting family members is not only a moral requirement but also a necessary habit to integrate them into society.
7. Teach Your Son To Be Generous.
Yes I know, showing your son the art of giving can be really tiresome as they would ask you why in the name of God they would have to give their piggy bank savings to a campaign. Trust me, you want them to ask questions so that you can give them the answers logically or better, show them.
Show them how their small contribution can help others, how donating their old clothes and toys can bring smiles to other people’s faces, how helping an old lady cross the street can earn them their blessings. These small acts of kindness can help a person go through the day and this is what they need to learn, that it’s easier to be kind and empathetic. A lesson like this will always be remembered by him, no matter where he goes in life.
Related: Raising Well-Behaved Kids: Discipline Measures That Work Without Doing Harm
8. Strengthen His Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is defined as a person’s ability to express and manage feelings appropriately. If you want to raise your son as a gentleman, then you need to inculcate moral values in him and make sure you are not entertaining any aggressive tantrums. Make him understand the right way to keep a humble spirit towards everything.
Teach your kids to recognize their problems and brainstorm ideas to address that problem. Emotional intelligence if developed earlier in age, creates a great platform for improved mental health and success in adulthood. Emotional self-awareness is necessary for a kid to strengthen their emotional intelligence so that he can make the right choices for himself and society.
9. Address Disrespecful Behavior Early.
As I said before, don’t turn a blind eye to disrespectful attitudes. It’s normal for your kid to show rebellion and disrespect at some point, but dismissing that behavior or showing indifference just because it’s a one-time thing, is actually worse than yelling at your kid.
Parents need to make them understand where they have gone wrong, and that it’s not expected out of them. Give them a fair warning and tell them how can they correct their mistake. Kids disrespect when they are expected to do something that is not pleasant to them, so in cases like these, have a follow-up discussion, and try to help them with problem-solving. But if you ignore that attitude, it will most definitely grow.
10. Let Him Be Himself.
Being a gentleman is when a man honors himself and is confident in his skin. Accept your kid for who he is, because every human being’s journey is different. Your son may not be good at science, but he could be good at creative arts. It’s crucial that you allow your son to do things in his own way because if you force him to do something he isn’t good at or he doesn’t like to do, you will sabotage his confidence.
Help him understand his individuality because this way he will learn to be confident in things he does and will be able to overcome any challenges in his pursuit to be a gentleman. Let him connect to his own needs, and eventually, he’ll connect to the need of others. Praise him for every small achievement and give credit for his good behavior; he will be encouraged to come up with solutions to problems. Remind him to be proud of his achievements and accept the things that he cannot change.
You all agree with me that being a parent is the most sacred and happy thing in life. However, there is no such thing as being a perfect parent, but through educating their children, parents also gradually become better themselves. Showing your son the path to be a gentleman also evolves you into a great person.
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Show him the importance of love and care. When a boy is raised in a loving environment, he knows how to give that love back and understands that it’s about being a true man who is gentle and loving.
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