To the people who love me through my anxiety, thank you. Thank you for always being there beside me, and never letting me go through life alone.
I know sometimes Iโm difficult.
Loving me comes with double texts and triple texts. It comes in the form of phone calls and the only person who still leaves voicemails.
Loving me comes in the form of many screenshots, as I ask if I worded this properly. It comes in analyzing how to say something sending you three different choices.
Itโs being paralyzed with fear of saying or doing something wrong that I donโt do anything. Then you give me a little push.
Loving me comes with talking me through everything.
It comes hearing many unrealistic scenarios play out that seem all too real in my mind. Itโs overthinking and analyzing things and talking about the same thing or person longer than youโd like to sometimes.
Related: This Is How You Love Someone With Anxiety: 12 Secrets
Loving me comes with late night conversations because I canโt ever sleep.
It comes in telling you about my previous night out, as Iโm milking a hangover and you simply respond, โYou didnโt do anything wrong. No one hates you.โ
It comes in listening to me get worked up and holding me when I cry.
Itโs the reassurance as you tell me, Iโm enough. Itโs the confidence you instill in me, even though I have to hear it over and over again. Because there are moments when I never feel good enough or I never feel like Iโve achieved enough.
There are moments where even if Iโm falling apart taking on too much but I will never ask for help. But you help me anyway even when I donโt ask.
It comes in me being my own worst critic and you have to be my number one fan.
Loving me is the lack of understanding of why I donโt see myself the way you do and you do everything to try and change that. It comes in fixating upon flaws you donโt even notice.
Thank you for loving me in ways Iโm still trying to learn to love myself.
Loving me comes in the form of being my strength sometimes. Because as much as Iโd love to stand strong, there are times I get knocked down. There are moments of rejection that completely shatter me. Itโs in moments of failure I beat myself up over it and youโre the one telling me to stop being so hard on myself.
It comes with apologizing too much. Instead of wondering why I said it or what I thought, that brought me to that conclusion, you simply accept it, tell me itโs okay and you we move on.
Itโs phrases like โdonโt worryโ or โyouโre overthinking this.โ If we got a dollar every time you said that to me, neither of us would have to work.
But more than anything, loving me, comes with an acceptance of this is who I am and youโre okay with it.
And you should know there isnโt anything I wouldnโt do for you. As much as you love and care for me, in words I struggle to articulate, I love you even more. I can honestly say Iโd be lost without you and I am so grateful to have you in my life.
Because I know Iโm not easy sometimes. And I do everything I possibly can to show that appreciation, even if it comes in overcompensating sometimes. I care. And itโs something you understand about me that takes people a little while to get.
Related: Reasons Why People With Anxiety Are The Best People To Fall In Love With
Anxiety is caring too much and I canโt make it stop. I canโt care less about people if I tried. And while a lot of people may look at this as a flaw, people like you see it as a strength.
Youโve never once tried to change me. Thank you for that.
And if I can give you anything in return, itโs the same love and loyalty youโve shown me.
Because there are a few things people with anxiety completely suck at, texting, patience, not jumping to conclusions. But of the things weโre good at, itโs loving people with everything weโve got.
And Iโm always going to worry about people coming and going but with you, by my side, I never seem to. Regardless of things Iโve done and mistakes I canโt forgive myself for, I look at you because youโre the one thing I got right.
Written By Kirsten Corley Follow Her Work On Facebook
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