The Ruminating Mind: 4 Steps To Deal With Negative Thoughts

 / 

, ,

Rumination often involves having recurrent negative thoughts or memories. Having a constant ruminating mind and negative thoughts can spell trouble for your mental health, and inherent peace of mind as such thoughts interfere with your daily life and can lead to depression.

Remember the time a friend did you wrong? A boss was unfair to you? Someone took something that belonged to you? You were abandoned or ignored? You encountered hard times? You were scared?

Yes, you remember these times, because your ruminating mindโ€”that runs loops over and over againโ€”probably wonโ€™t let you forget these incidents. It isnโ€™t bad enough that you experienced whatever the negative trauma was in real-time, but rather than letting go and moving on by acknowledging it is over, your mind continues to hold on and review it time and time again.

Perhaps you focus on what you wish you had saidโ€”and you practice your presentation or pitch to your imaginary audience. Maybe you vow you will never let yourself be vulnerable or in that situation again, and you take mental steps to ensure that doesnโ€™t happen. Maybe you secretly plot and plan how you will get back at someone and exact yourย revenge.

Whatever you plan and consider, chances are good, it is all happening inside of your head, and your mind is pulling you back to that place and event and refusing to let it go.

Many people reliveย traumas, such as cruelty in the form of emotional or physical abuse. The attacker may be long gone, even buried in the ground, but the raw experience of the abuse lingers. You can see their eyes, their facial expression, and remember exactly how it felt to be so vulnerable and afraid.

Many people who have lived through war or life-threatening events, such as car accidents or escaping from a deadly fire, haveย PTSDย (post-traumatic stress disorder) continually dragging them back into the experience.

Related: A Psychologist Explains How You Can Rewire Your Brain To Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts

Itโ€™s as if the mind cannot get over the negative experience and needs to make you relive it time and time again to somehow find a way to heal it. The problem is, going back to the experience in your mind rarely fixes it; rather, it cements the experience and reminds you frequently of what youโ€™ve lived through.

If your condition is as serious as PTSD, or you are ruminating in a manner where you believe you could harm yourself or someone else, seek professional medical help right away. This article is not meant to cure a deep psychological disorder.

However, if your situation is not as grave, but it is irritating and hampering your ability to enjoy a full and happy life, and you are living in a negative place inside your head, consider taking some steps to help yourself function differently:

Here Are 4 Steps That Can Help You Deal With Your Ruminating Mind

1. Remember that images in your mind, or words you tell yourself, or stories you makeup or come to believe, are all just that โ€“ images and stories your mind has made up.

Yes, you experienced the event, but the event is no longer realโ€”your mind just continues to relive it. This is often called negativeย self-talk. Itโ€™s where you focus on something past or in the future and donโ€™t allow yourself to be objective and data-centric about what is happening in theย now.

The event is gone. It was tough, it hurt you, it was scary and upsetting, but you lived through it. When your mind tries to revisit it and drag you back, rememberโ€”it isnโ€™t real anymore. Force yourself to focus on something outside of yourself. Become aware of your body, your environment, your facial expression, your surroundings.

The mind canโ€™t focus on two things at once, so drag your mind back into the now and let the past experience recede into the background.

Related: 5 Tips To Help Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts

2.ย Journal your feelings and thoughts about what happened to you and why.

Pour your heart out. Take the time to write about what a fool you were, what you wish had happened instead. Get it all out on paper. Take time to be thorough and expressive. Cry, rant, and swear while you are doing it.

Then, once you are doneโ€”stand over the wastebasket and slowly and methodically rip that paper into teeny, tiny pieces. Watch it fall into the wastebasket as if you were at some sort of a ceremony. Then, wipe your hands and rub them clean of the event. It is gone. Put the waste into your trash, and say goodbye to it forever.

When it wants to return to your mind, picture those pieces of tiny paper being incinerated in some trash pile somewhere far, far away.

3.ย Talk to a friend โ€“ not about the sadness of the event, but about what you have learned from it and what you are willing and able to do differently in your life.

Find a buddy who cares about you and will listen to you as you explain a bit of background (assuming they do not know), and then share what steps you will take or are taking to improve, change, or enhance for the future. Be focused on what you are taking away that is positive and beneficial and not what dragged you down in the past.

Most of the best life lessons come from some negative experience, assuming that you learn from it and do something different next time.

Related: 11 Ways To Put An End To Overthinking

4.ย Help someone who has suffered through a similar situation โ€“ focus yourย attentionย outside of yourself.

Some of the best rape counselors are those who experienced the horror firsthand themselves. They areย empathicย and understanding because theyโ€™ve been there. Someone who has been cheated on, or robbed, or taken for granted, will benefit from theย wisdomย and support of someone who has lived through the same sort of thing.

There is comfort in knowing youโ€™re not alone. When you give the gift of support to another, you actually gain a huge gift in returnโ€”the focus is on them, and your mind canโ€™t spend its time ruminating over whatโ€™s happened to you.

The experience happened. You canโ€™t change the course of history, but you can take charge of your ruminating mind and change your present, and your future.

Check out Beverly Flaxingtonโ€™s best-selling book onย Amazon.


Written Byย Beverly Flaxington
Originally Appeared Inย Psychology Today

The more you give in to negative thoughts and indulge in overthinking about the bad things that have happened to you in the past, the more disturbed you will feel. Giving your negative thoughts too much power can prove disastrous for you mentally, and psychologically.

Whenever you have trouble dealing with your ruminating mind, come back to these pointers as these can help you deal with your negative thinking in a much better and healthier way.

Ruminating Mind Deal Negative Thoughts pin
Ruminating Mind Pin
The Ruminating Mind Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Unsocial Media: The Real Effects Of Screen Time

Unsocial Media The Real Effects Of More Screen Time

Is social media making us less social in real life? Discover the true effects of screen time on face-to-face connections and overall well-being.

Loss of real-life interaction hampers social development.

Key points

A significant amount of real-life social interaction seems essential for the development of emotional and personal skills.

Research suggests that today’s youth has about half the exposure to critical real-life social interaction that pre-internet generations did.

Trends in poor social development among young people suggest the need for urgent attention and specific strategies to enhanc

Up Next

When Grandparentsโ€™ Love Goes Sour: 8 Signs Of Toxic Grandparents And How To Survive Them

Signs Of Toxic Grandparents

Have you ever noticed certain behaviors that make you wonder if your grandparentsโ€™ love might be a littleโ€ฆ off? Spotting the signs of toxic grandparents can be tough, especially when society paints them as the ultimate source of unconditional love and support.

But sometimes, grandparents might cross boundaries, show favoritism, or create a stressful environment that doesnโ€™t quite feel right. If youโ€™ve ever felt uneasy about their behavior, youโ€™re not alone.

In this article, weโ€™ll dive into the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of toxic grandparents and give you some strategies regarding how to deal with toxic grandparents, without causing family drama.

First, let us try to understand what are toxic grandparents.

Up Next

How a Person with Bipolar Disorder Thinks: 10 Things That Cross Their Mind

How a Person with Bipolar Disorder Thinks

Ever wondered how a person with bipolar disorder thinks? Living with bipolar disorder is often a constant ride of highs and lows, not just in mood but also in thoughts.

One moment, someone might feel invincible, brimming with ideas and energy; the next, they may feel crushed by sadness or anxiety, weighed down by self-doubt and exhaustion.

Understanding how a person with bipolar disorder thinks can help you understand better what they might be going through. Today, we’ll dive into what is bipolar disorder, followed by 10 thoughts that often cross the minds of those who live with it.

Let’s start with what is bipolar disorder.

Related:

Up Next

9 Unusual Signs of Low Intelligence That Will Surprise You

Indicators of Low Intelligence That Will Surprise You

When we talk about intelligence, most of us picture sharp-witted people solving puzzles or doing complex math. But the signs of low intelligence can be just as telling, and they show up in ways you might not expect.

A low IQ person often exhibit certain behaviors or attitudes that make them stand out. Whether itโ€™s their inability to adapt or their rigid thinking, these subtle low IQ symptoms say a lot.

Today, we are going to do a deep dive into the 9 unusual signs of low intelligence that might surprise youโ€”because intelligence isnโ€™t just about getting straight Aโ€™s.

Related:

Up Next

How Sleep affects Your Mental Health

The quality and amount of sleep play a huge role in the mental health and mood of an individual.

Even just one night of inadequate sleep can heighten oneโ€™s stress level. Constant lack of sleep and chronic sleep deprivation can alter a personโ€™s disposition and may even lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. In fact, a lot of research is now establishing links between insomnia and depression and how the two can interchangeably affect each other.

Sleep and mental health are broad and complex topics that still need further research to be able to fully grasp and comprehend well about them. All the same, the more we dig deeper w

Up Next

A Letter For Those Who Donโ€™t Understand Chronic Illness

A Letter for those who donโ€™t understand chronic illness.

Dear people who donโ€™t understand autoimmune disease or Chronic Illness:

I know people that have an autoimmune disease and chronic illness. They seem fine on the outside, but thatโ€™s what they want you to see because they have a fear of being judged and misunderstood.

However, in reality, people that deal with these issues may be people who are dealing with diet restrictions. Perhaps they have to go to many doctors to deal with managing pain. They may not be able to do the things that we take for granted.

I personally believe if you have an autoimmune disease, or any other chronic ill

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or itโ€™s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, weโ€™re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults โ€“ those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});