To The Man Who Broke My Heart, Thank You

Written By:

Aaron Ben-Zeév

Written By:

Aaron Ben-Zeév

The Man Who Broke My Heart 2

“I trusted him, and that man broke my heart into pieces.” How many times have you heard yourself or someone you know say this? This letter is for the man who broke my heart into pieces and left me shattered.

Sometimes it’s the broken heart that finds the truest path to love.

Thank you for not believing in my dream.

For calling it “a hobby.” Thank you for forbidding me to build a jewelry studio and calling my ideas “unrealistic.” It forced me to dream a little harder and my business is stronger for my dreams and for your dismissal of them.

Thank you for making horrible comments about my body. For calling me fat. For making rude remarks about certain parts of my anatomy. It forced me to fall in love with every curve, crevice, and bump attached to this soul and my body and soul are more in tune and in love with each other than ever.

Related: To The Man Who Broke My Heart: I Did Not Regret Loving You In Both Times

Thank you for trying to control me.

For doing your best to put me in a box. For treating me like a trophy or some type of arm candy. It forced me to know my worth and stand proudly on my own two feet and I stand tall and proud when I once would have sat quietly in the corner.

Thank you for being emotionally unavailable and cold.

For being thoughtless and uncaring. For sometimes just being cruel. It forced me to strive for emotional sobriety, work hard on myself, and have compassion for those who are suffering like yourself. Today I am more the person I wanted to be than I ever believed was possible.

Thank you for being generous and telling me to keep the ring when I couldn’t keep your heart. It forced me to examine what a ring really means, and that is an important thing for a custom engagement ring designer to understand.

Did you know that in India they believe that the energy of a piece of jewelry is stored in the stone? I freed that stone from its setting and released the tidal wave of tears from my heart. And my compassion for lovers and my joy for my clients is now without boundaries because of the understanding I received as those tears washed my heart clean of bitterness and regret.

Thank you to the man who broke my heart

But most of all, thank you for not believing in forever.

Because you see I took that diamond and I gave it to one of my best friends so that he could propose to his love. So that they could start a happy, solid marriage built on mutual trust and respect. So that I could have their example to watch for the rest of the time.

Related: 10 Signs You Are Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Guy

I may never find true love again, but it doesn’t matter. Because I was forced to learn to love myself.

And that’s the most romantic love story of all.

Want to know more about dealing with a broken heart? Check this video out below!

Written By Jacqueline Stone
Originally Appeared on Goodmen Project
To the Man Who Broke My Heart pin
The Man Who Broke My Heart pin

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— About the Author —

Aaron Ben-Zeév

Aaron Ben-Zeev is a Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. He received his Ph.D. is from the University of Chicago (1981). Professor Ben-Zeev is considered one of the world’s leading experts in the study of emotions and romantic love. Among his books are The Subtlety of Emotions (MIT, 2000),A Love Online (Cambridge UP, 2004), In The Name of Love (with Goussinsky, Oxford UP, 2008); The Arc of Love: How Our Romantic Lives Change Over Time (University of Chicago Press, 2019). He has a popular blog in Psychology Today, on Romantic Love, which enjoys about one million viewers per 90 days. A At the University of Haifa, he was President (2004-2012), Rector (2000-2004), Dean of Research (1995-2000), and Chairperson of the Philosophy Department (1986-1988). He is the Founding and former President of the European Philosophical Society for the Study of Emotions.
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