10 Signs Of Healthy Boundaries

Signs Of Healthy Boundaries 1

What are healthy boundaries? And how do we draw the line politely? If you’re able to verbalize your thoughts in a relationship, it’s one of the signs of healthy boundaries.

Healthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. They both build and reflect self-esteem. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of individuating and becoming an individual and autonomous person.

Boundaries are learned in childhood. Some dysfunctional families are enmeshed and your individuality and boundaries are ignored or openly disrespected in words or actions; for example, verbal and physical abuse, prying into your personal communications, denying your privacy, and disrespecting your feelings and opinions.

signs of healthy boundaries

Trauma and toxic shame damage our boundaries. Boundaries are also taught and modeled by parental guidance and behavior in how to treat other people.

First, you must be able to identify your feelings, believe you have rights and value, and then have the courage and the words to express your boundaries.

Related: How To Set Boundaries To Protect Your Mental Health

Signs of recovery and healthy boundaries are:

10 Signs Of Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship

10 Signs Of Healthy Boundaries

1. You’re able to say “no.”

Codependents hold onto resentment when they don’t set boundaries and usually feel guilty when they do. They don’t feel entitled to set them and experience setting boundaries as harsh or selfish.

2. You don’t let others abuse or exploit you.

With healthy boundaries, you won’t let others violate you. You won’t tolerate abuse or let people take advantage of you. You will speak up and let people know how you expect to be treated.

Related: 5 Tips For Setting Boundaries As An Introvert

3. You can hold your ground when pressured.

When you set an important boundary, you won’t let other people talk you out of your position on something important. Your boundaries can still be flexible to compromise in relationships, such as going out when you’d prefer to stay home, but not on important issues. For example, if you feel your health would suffer going out, then you’d stick to your boundary.

4. You’re not offended by others’ boundaries.

When other people say no or set boundaries, you respect them. You don’t immediately react with hurt or anger and assume it’s because they don’t care about you. (In some cases it might be, such as with a narcissist, but still, rather than take it personally, it’s more information about what to expect from that relationship.)

5. You don’t feel responsible for other adults.

Although we’re responsible for our children, with adults we’re responsible to them, but not for them. In close relationships, codependents assume they cause other people’s feelings. They often react with irrational guilt, frequently apologize, and try to “fix” the other person’s negative feelings.

signs of healthy boundaries

6. You don’t take personally others’ criticism.

With healthy boundaries, you know yourself. Your boundary filters criticism. You might consider whether the criticism is valid or not. If it’s abusive, then the statement is more a reflection of the abuser, not you. Toxic shame can make your boundaries porous so that you have no filter and absorb words by other people as true.

7. You take responsibility for your triggers.

When you overreact or are triggered, instead of blaming someone else, you manage your triggers in a healthy way. This might include an apology.

8. You respect others’ boundaries.

You realize that people are separate, different individuals with differing boundaries. You expect others to respect yours and you do the same. You’re able to compromise in relationships.

9. You value your rights and feelings.

This is a precursor to setting boundaries. You must believe you have rights and honor your feelings before you can assertively ask and expect other people to do the same.

signs of healthy boundaries

10. You don’t need others to agree with you.

As a separate individual with healthy boundaries, you show other people the same respect. You have no need for other people to agree with you, and you don’t bother to show them you’re right and they’re wrong. You express your opinion, discuss various aspects of the subject, but you’re able to respectfully disagree.

Related: 7 Tips For Setting Boundaries With Toxic People – The Minds Journal

Improving your boundaries raises your self-esteem and vice-versa, also. Get my webinar: How to Be Assertive (or Ebook: http://bit.ly/2DBmjnt).

© 2022 Darlene Lancer

If you’re still dealing with being codependency or a toxic relationship, try and learn to create healthy boundaries for yourself!


Written by: Darlene Lancer JD, MFT
Originally appeared on: WhatIsCodependency.com

Signs Of Healthy Boundaries pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Boomerasking: The Silent Conversation Killer You Didn’t Know You Had

What Is Boomerasking? Signs You're Guilty Of This Bad Habit

We need to talk. And no, not about you, though that’s kind of the point. If you’ve ever asked someone a question only to immediately shift the conversation back to yourself, you might be guilty of boomerasking.

What Is Boomerasking?

It is a conversational tactic identified by Harvard Business School’s professor Alison Wood Brooks, wherein a question that seems to show interest serves as a guise for the speaker to center the conversation about themself.

Up Next

Power Colors For Zodiac Signs: Learn To Supercharge Your Life!

Power Colors For Zodiac Signs Interesting Hues

Ever felt drawn to a certain color without knowing why? Or maybe you’ve noticed how certain colors boost your mood and energy. Below are 12 power colors for zodiac signs. Find a hue that aligns with your strengths and helps supercharge your life. 

Wearing the zodiac sign power colors can help you feel more centered, confident, and in sync with your true self. 

So, do you want to learn more about the colors that can enhance your energy and success? Let’s explore the power colors for zodiac signs!

Up Next

10 Subtle Signs You’re Secretly Becoming Your Best Self

Signs You’re Becoming Your Best Self

We always hear about green flags in relationships, but what about green flags in yourself? The truth is, you’ve probably grown more than you realize. It’s easy to focus on what still needs work, but if you’ve been showing up for yourself—whether in your mindset, habits, relationships, or career—you’re already on the right track.

Becoming your best self isn’t about waking up one day with everything figured out. It’s about the small shifts, the quiet wins, and the moments where you choose growth over comfort. So if you’ve been wondering whether you’re heading in the right direction, take this as a sign: You’re doing better than you think.

Ahead, we’re diving into the green flags that prove you’re stepping into your happiest, most authentic self—because real growth is happening, even if you don’t see it yet.

Up Next

The Script is Yours: 7 Ways To Be The Leading Lady In Your Own Life

How To Be A Leading Lady Of Your Own Life? Best Ways

Every so often, a movie line sticks with you. In The Holiday, Iris (played by Kate Winslet) has a pivotal realization: “You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life!” This hits home for women in their 20s and 30s, a time when life can feel like a balancing act of dreams, relationships, and self-doubt. 

But what if you decided to step into the spotlight of your own story? Learn how to be the leading lady in your own life and reclaim center stage!

Up Next

How To Break The Habit Of People Pleasing?

Clear Signs Of People Pleasing And How To Stop It

Do you say “yes” to avoid conflict, but deep down, you feel drained? Recognize people pleasing behavior as it’s time to set boundaries and reclaim your peace!

First we must care for ourselves. When we do, we can better care for others.

Key points

When we people-please, it creates a relationship that is not really honest.

We cannot meet everyone else’s needs.

When we become more OK with being ourselves, people will likely be drawn to us because we are being authentic.

Up Next

The Power of Solitude: Does It Lead To Inner Growth?

The Power Of Solitude Important Points

Learn the power of solitude as it gives you a chance to reconnect with yourself. And in these quiet moments, you can truly grow. So, let’s explore more!

Connect to your soul and quiet your busy mind.

Key points

We all need solitude and silence, and we all need social connection.

Solitude helps us put things into perspective and gain clarity.

Solitude can help us to not be reactionary and instead be responsive, open, and more flexible in our thinking.

Up Next

How Do We Practice Compassionate Communication?

Practicing Compassionate Communication Great Ways

What does it take to truly connect with others? Learn to practice compassionate communication in everyday life to ease their pain.

Five principles for compassionate communication.

Key points

Compassion can be thought of as an empathetic, conscious effort to relieve the suffering of another.

Mirror neurons allow us to experience one another in our minds.

Embrace an openness to thoughts and experiences that may challenge your usual way of doing things.