He is attractive and charming. He knows exactly what you want to hear. And he knows how to make your heart pound. But he never actually walks the talk. Does he? If you are dating a player and he is playing you, you will always know. You just need to look for it.
I could’ve used the word chased here, like a lot of people do, but the thing is a highly evolved high vibrational man will never, ever chase a woman.
Chasing a woman is something that is done by somebody that doesn’t feel like they deserve a great woman. Chasing is a lack of abundance, think about the terms we use with a chase.
Besides the bank Chase which is full of abundance.
When we’re chasing after another team, it means the team is better than us. We’re chasing them in the standings, it means they’re better than us. We’re chasing our dreams, which means we don’t know how to live our dreams. We’re chasing money. It means we don’t have an abundant mindset with money.
Related: 5 Signs He’s Actually A Player
So let’s talk about these three signs, these three things that will tell you that the man you’re with is not really pursuing you, he’s playing you.
3 Warning Signs He’s Playing You
1. Date One Promises.
Men who play know exactly what to say. A man who is playing a woman knows exactly what she wants to hear on date number one.
He’ll tell you how evolved he is.
If you’re a spiritual Yogi girl.
Or if you’re a girl that has done lots of self-work.
He’ll tell you about the spiritual path he’s been on.
He’ll tell you how he’s healed his inner child.
He’ll tell you flat out that he’s looking for a high vibrational partner to share life with, to be present, to be open with.
Now a man that is open like that will also say that, so you have to kind of put an asterisk next to it.
Because a really high vibrational man will actually tell you all the work that he’s done, and he’ll tell you when he’s ready for a real partnership. So date number one will seem strangely the same, except a man that’s playing you will take you to this level on date number two.
2. A Man Who’s Actually Your High Vibrational Partner Will Actually Allow You To Show Yourself Because He Wants To See The Real You.
He doesn’t want to play you, chase you, or anything, he wants to pursue you, and allow you to show the beauty of you.
But a man that’s playing you? The high vibrational talk stops, as a matter of fact, the conversation gets a little more sexual in nature.
He’s engaging you a little bit with dirty talk and texts. He might be doing it subliminally if he’s a really good player, or if he’s a mediocre player, he might right get down to the naughty and dirty right away.
You see, a player, once he feels that he has you on an emotional level because he knows a certain amount about women, he’ll try to play you sexually as quickly as possible. The real high vibrational man.
The person you want to spend time with and get to know could care less about sex because he already knows you’ve already made love to each other in his mind. So he doesn’t need to rush the sex, which leads us to number three.
Related: 5 Underlying Reasons Why Players Are Mentally Unstable People To Date
3. He’ll Fall Flat On His Face, And Literally Not Be As Communicative As He Was In The Beginning.
Let’s say you’ve got two dates under your belt, he feels like he could sleep with you, or you’ve already made the mistake and been played and slept with him too quickly. He’ll start to vanish because a player actually just likes the initial pursuit, it’s actually high.
It’s great to be able to spin the web of seduction over an unsuspecting woman. It’s wonderful to get that high, it’s literally a rush, and to see if he can quickly get you amped up sexually so you can be his. Whether you sleep with him or not, when you’re being played.
It sometimes doesn’t matter if he sleeps with you or not, sometimes he just needs the validation that he can and that he could.
So what happens after that, once he gets his ego validated or his physical side validated, he normally starts to do the disappearing act. All of a sudden you don’t hear from him for four or five days when you used to hear from him every single day. He’s vanishing because he’s onto the next emotional or egotistical or physical conquest because that’s what a player does.
How Do I Know This So Well?
Because I was a player from probably 20 to probably 30.
Then I was a player again in my late 30s and early 40s. I love women. I love the seduction. I got off on the chase if you notice the word I’m using, the chase.
I got off in emotionally connecting and I got off knowing that I can either have her or have her, that was high that I was looking for, it was a drug to me it was the most amazing drug in the world and I didn’t care whether or not I was hurting anybody or not.
I’ve evolved since then. Now, I actually am looking for my high vibrational equal. I’m looking for her, sometimes I think, maybe she’s reading my articles, maybe she is next to me on the subway.
Maybe she’s next to me in traffic in a car, maybe I’m going to find her in Whole Foods. I’m putting out that energy every single day because I no longer want to be the chaser. I want to be the attractor.
Related: 11 Signs The Nice Guy You Are Dating Is A Fuckboy in Disguise
So think about it the next time you’re with somebody and look for these red flag warning signs.
Why does dating seem so hard? How are you supposed to meet and flirt with men? Watch my FREE video, “How to Speak Man” to STOP speculating and START winning his heart!
Written by David Wygant
Originally appeared on David Wygnant
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