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Why Your Relationship Lacks Romance: 5 Reasons

reasons why your relationship lacks romance

Every relationship needs even a little bit of romance to survive. After all, romance is the essence of every relationship, isn’t it? You show your appreciation towards your partner through romance, you show your love to your partner through romance, and most importantly, you make each other feel special by being romantic.

But, there are some couples out there whose relationship doesn’t have any romance in it at all, or the romance has decayed over time. Do you think your relationship is one of them?

Romance doesn’t always mean flowers, chocolates, and candlelight dinners; sometimes it’s much more than that. Being romantic means trying to make your partner feel that they are the only one for you. It is also making them feel good about themselves and making them feel loved and protected. So, if you feel that your relationship is seriously unromantic, then maybe it is high time that you take a deep look into it and try to search for the probable reasons.

Here Are 5 Reasons Your Relationship Doesn’t Have Any Romance In It

1. Bitterness And Resentment Have Built Up Over Time. 

One of the biggest reasons your relationship doesn’t have any romance in it might be due to the fact that one of you or both of you have a lot of resentment and anger towards the other. The fact that you are holding on to it, is coming in the way of showing that love and romance you feel for each other.

If you are able to understand and recognize that this is indeed the case, then you need to give an effort to trace it back to the cause. Did something happen in the past, that hurt you or your partner a lot? Did you not resolve any major conflict that is still festering inside you or both of you?

The first thing both of you need to do is to try and move on from whatever is holding you and your relationship back. It is important that you resolve all the issues plaguing the relationship and let the past be in the past. Focusing on your present is much more important than focusing on your past. Talk to each other about your problems and look for a solution together. As long as you work together, you will be able to overcome any issue that might crop up.

Related: 5 Ideal Ways You Can Keep The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

2. Boredom Has Set In. 

Sometimes, there comes a point in romantic relationships, when you might feel that the romance is gone and it has become a bit boring. When you are with someone for a very long time, you grow with each other, mature with each other, and since you get used to each other, the romance part ends up taking a backseat. Both of you get so busy with your hectic lives that you might not even realize that the romance is not there anymore.

If this is the case with you, then don’t worry. This might seem difficult to get over from, but not impossible. You just need to find your way back to each other. Try to find the time and do all those things that both of you used to do at the beginning of your relationship. Find ways to make each other feel special. And most importantly, always say how much you love them and how glad you are that you have them in your life.

when your relationship lacks romance
Why Your Relationship Lacks Romance: 5 Reasons

3. Both Of You Have Conflicting Views On Romance. 

If your relationship doesn’t have any romance in it, then one of the reasons might be that both you and your partner have opposing definitions of romance and love. Before you start worrying about this too much and start thinking that you are not meant for each other, know that this is extremely common. Every person is not the same, and the same might hold true for you and your partner. 

Some people like to show their love and emotions openly and have no trouble being expressive and vocal about their feelings. Whereas some people prefer to show their love subtly and more discreetly, rather than being public about it. This difference might sometimes end up making the expressive person feel that their partner doesn’t love them enough. 

The best way to handle this kind of dilemma is to openly communicate with your partner about this. Let them know what you like and what makes you feel special, but don’t try to dictate exactly what they should do. Try to respect and understand what kind of people they are and learn to accept that they might be different from you and also their way of showing romance. Most importantly, keep in mind that it doesn’t make their love for you any less.

4. Trust Issues Might Be At The Core Of Your Problems. 

Mistrust for your partner or trust issues can be a huge reason for your relationship not having any romance in it. If you do not trust your partner, then it becomes very difficult to express your love and feelings for them. It becomes a challenge for you to feel intimate and secure with your partner, for this reason.

There might be justified reasons for you being like this, but you have to realize that if you want to be with your partner for the long haul, you need to let go of the mistrust in your heart. It is not possible for a relationship to sustain without something as crucial as trust. Try to work through your trust issues, and look at the bigger picture. 

If it’s something that happened in your past, then talk to your partner about it and try to resolve it with their help. And if it’s something that your partner did, then make them realize how much they hurt you, and that they should work hard towards making you feel better. If your partner understands this, then try to be a team and overcome this obstacle. If they don’t, then maybe you are not in the right relationship.

Related: The 5 Stages Of Your Relationship and How To Keep The Romance Alive in each

5. Lack Of Communication Might Be Playing Spoilsport.  

You can never have a healthy and romantic relationship if there is a lack of communication between you and your partner. Communication is key when it comes to establishing a satisfying relationship. If you do not talk to your partner about what you need from them or what makes you happy, then how will they understand? You can’t expect them to have telepathic powers, do you?

Talk to each other about the things that bother you, hurt you, make you laugh, make you feel special, and most importantly, about all the stuff that you think will help the relationship be more romantic. As long as there is clear and transparent communication in your relationship, and both of you are on the same page, you will be able to work through your issues.

Lack of romance in a relationship can spell trouble for its future, but if both of you acknowledge this, then you will be able to save it. Romance might seem like a very unimportant thing for some people, but in reality, it can make or break a relationship. So, if you feel that your relationship doesn’t have any romance in it, then buck up and try to make things right.

Reasons Your Relationship Doesnt Have Romance Pin
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Why Your Relationship Lacks Romance: 5 Reasons

Alexandra Hall

Hi there! I am someone who is trying to navigate through life, one day at a time. Writing is my passion and my job, and I am happiest when I am writing. I love reading comic books, watching drama movies, playing with my dogs and generally lazing around. An introvert by nature, you can find me in the farthest corner of the room in every party, playing with the dog and having my own party.View Author posts