“She didn’t belong anywhere and she never really belonged to anyone. And everyone else belonged somewhere and to someone. People thought she was too wonderful. But she only wanted to belong to someone. People always thought she was too wonderful to belong to them or that something too wonderful would hurt too much to lose. And that’s why she liked him – because he just thought she was crazy. “
― C. JoyBell C.
To begin with, I want to sincerely apologize for my weird and nutsy behavior of late. Honestly, I have no idea what’s wrong with me, and why I’m being crazy all the time!
Initially, I thought that it was your demeaning treatment of me that compelled me to behave this way. But I must have been wrong. Now I realize that it was me who was at fault all along. And I couldn’t be more ashamed for thinking otherwise all this while. I’m thoroughly disappointed in myself.
Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that my chronic hormonal imbalance is to be blamed for my out of line behavior on so many occasions. Do you remember the incident where I asked for your opinion regarding the flaws in my body? You readily pointed out my imperfections to me! And I was so mad and upset! But I feel so embarrassed now. It was so unlike me to be so sensitive. I should have been more thick-skinned, even around my person, whom I trusted enough to let my guard down.
I want to say sorry about the time I got pissed off and lost my temper when I saw you exchanging numbers with random women at the pub. I still remember how very insecure I felt about that particular woman who looked a lot like me, only a tad prettier.
How silly of me to be hurt even though you openly disrespected me in front of our friends and so many strangers! But, it’s my fault, I should have been uncaring of such insolent behavior on your part.
Do you remember the time I left the room almost in tears when you poked fun at my clothes at the party? What was I thinking?! I was probably looking like a clown and you just laughed at me along with your buddies- such a spontaneous reaction on your part. As usual, I was being an emotional fool.
Come to think of it, I should have realized sooner that you weren’t deliberately causing me pain, your behavior came very naturally to you. You were just being real and straightforward. It was the normal thing to do under such circumstances. How immature was I?! I’m genuinely thankful that you didn’t lock me up or send me off to a mental clinic for my senseless and inappropriate behavior, time and again!