30 Hilarious Mom Quotes Every Mama Bear Can Relate To

There’s a reason hilarious mom quotes are a thing, and why they never get old. These funny mom quotes perfectly capture the love, chaos and straight-up exhaustion that comes with being a mother.

You love your kids, but have you ever looked at them and thought, “I really love you, but I need five minutes of peace”? The struggle is real and moms are nothing short of superheroes, except instead of capes, they rock messy buns, and instead of saving the world, they’re saving bedtime (and maybe their sanity).

These relatable mom quotes will do more than just make you laugh; they’re a way for moms to say, “Hey, I am surviving, and so are you!”

Be it balancing work and chores, endless laundry, making school runs, or trying to remember to drink your morning coffee – every mother out there deserves a medal. But you know what they need more than anything? A good old laugh.

And these quotes are going to do exactly that. They are the perfect amount of mom and humor and truth to make any mama bear nod and say, “Same girl, same.”

These funny mom quotes capture everything from the messes kids leave to the moments when you just want to curl up with a blanket and hide. It’s not about perfection; it’s about surviving and laughing through it all.

It’s the heart of mom humor – the kind that makes you chuckle, even when you’re running on three hours of sleep and half a granola bar.

So, if you’re a mom who’s ever felt the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood (and who hasn’t?), you’ll totally get why mom humor is the best kind of humor.

These quotes are not just funny, they’re a reminder that you’re not alone, and sometimes, the best thing to do is just laugh at the madness of it all.

30 Hilarious Mom Quotes That Capture the Chaos of Motherhood

1. “Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” – Alyson Hannigan

2. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron

3. “Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” – Nia Vardalos

4. “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” – Michelle Pfeifer

5. “Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” – Jenny McCarthy

6. “Woohoo! It’s the weekend! Oh, wait… I’m a mom!” – Unknown

7. “It’s the best acting of my life right here, the well-rested woman. It’s my finest role.” – Kerry Washington

8. “Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life.” – Mindy Kaling

9. “The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.” – Carrie Underwood

10. “If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man — and by ‘party’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.” – Olivia Wilde

11. “Life as a stay at home mom: A long day is when you go to get into your pajamas and realize you never changed out of them.” – Unknown

12. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck

13. “Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” – Amy Poehler

14. “Every day when you’re raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and just scream ‘This is ridiculous!’ because there’s so much nonsense, whether it’s what they’re saying to you or the fact that there’s avocado or poop on every surface.” – Kristen Bell

15. “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.” – Unknown

16. “I love it when I find myself screaming ‘STOP SCREAMING’ at my kids. That’s how I teach them irony.” – Unknown

17. “Did you know, when kids go to bed, you can hear yourself think again? I sound fabulous.” – Paige Kellerman

18. “My nickname is Mom but my real name is MomMomMom, MomMomMom, MoooooooomMoooooomMooooooooooooooom!” – Unknown

19. “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon

20. “You don’t know pain until you’ve tried to put a sleeping baby in a crib without waking them up.” – Ali Wong

21. “Yeah my kid rides her bike inside. Without clothes. And helmets. While I ignore her and look at my phone.” – Pink

22. “Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.” – Shonda Rhimes

23. “I am having a very rough day and it would help me a lot if any moms would like to share stories of their kids being mean to them.” – Chrissy Teigen

24. “Kids are challenging. Wine is necessary. They’re great though.” – Kelly Clarkson

25. “A worried mother does better research than the FBI.” – Unknown

26. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White

27. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

28. “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.” – Lisa Alther

29. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse

30. “Usually, the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.” – Julia Roberts

Motherhood is unpredictable, funny and downright chaotic – and these hilarious mom quotes prove it. Through all the mess and mayhem, laughter truly is the best survival tool.

So, whether you’re covered in baby food or dodging toddler tantrums, remember: you’re not alone, and there’s always some mom humor in the madness of life.

Which of these funny mom quotes resonated with you the most? Send these relatable mom quotes to your mama and make her laugh!

Also, Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!