Heartbreaking Facebook Post By A Man Who Just Found Out His Wife’s Been Cheating For 10 Years

Heartbreaking Facebook Post By A Man Who Just Found Out His Wife's Been Cheating For 10 Years

Heartbreaking Facebook Post By A Man

People spend their lives making plans for the future. Sometimes we are too busy making plans and getting anxious about them, so we end up forgetting how to actually live.

The following Facebook post can teach us a lot about dreams that have been canceled. Sometimes ourselves can be the biggest enemy.

This man’s story is sad but it can really change your perspectives on life!

Hi, My name is John. I’ve been lurking for a while, but I’ve finally made an account to post this. I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I’m a 46 year old banker and I have been living my whole life the opposite of how I wanted. All my dreams, my passion, gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for everything, which eventually changed who I was.

Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I realized I missed my father’s funeral FOR NOTHING. I didn’t complete my novel, traveling the world, helping the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when I was in my late teens and early twenties. If my younger self had met me today, I would have punched myself in the face. I’ll get to how those dreams were crushed soon.

Let’s start with a description of me when I was 20. It seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk-taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The first was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second was traveling the world and helping the poor and homeless. I had been dating my wife for four years by then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel loved. I knew my book was going to change the world. I would show the perspective of the ‘bad’ and the ‘twisted’, showing my viewers that everybody thinks differently, that people never think what the do is wrong. I was 70 pages through when I was 20. I am still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacking around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to do all of Asia, then Europe, then America (I live in Australia by the way). To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the Philippines.

Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life in a 9-7 job. What was I thinking? How could I live, when the job was my life? After coming home, I would eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and sleep at 10 pm, to wake up at 6 am the following day. God, I can’t remember the last time I’ve made love to my wife.

Read 6 Signs A Man Is Carrying A Broken Heart

Yesterday, my wife admitted to cheating on me for the last 10 years. 10 years. That seems like a long time, but I can’t comprehend it. It doesn’t even hurt. She says it’s because I’ve changed. I’m not the person I was. What have I been doing in the last 10 years? Outside of work, I really can’t say anything. Not being a proper husband. Not being ME. Who am I? What happened to me? I didn’t even ask for a divorce, or yell at her, or cry. I felt NOTHING. Now I can feel a tear as I write this. But not because my wife has been cheating on me, but because I am now realizing I have been dying inside. What happened to that fun-loving, risk-taking, energetic person that was me, hungering to change the world? I remember being asked on a date by the most popular girl in the school, but declining her for my now-wife. God, I was really popular with the girls in high school. In university/college too. But I stayed loyal. I didn’t explore. I studied every day.

Remember all that backpacking and book-writing I told you about? That was all in the first few years of college. I worked part-time and splurged all that I had earned. Now, I save every penny. I don’t remember a time I spend anything on anything fun. On anything for myself. What do I even want now?

63 thoughts on “Heartbreaking Facebook Post By A Man Who Just Found Out His Wife’s Been Cheating For 10 Years”

  1. If she did not feel safe and loved she would have left I know this is not comfort to you but don’t feel you have wasted your life but see that others have been able to build upon the safety and stability you provided.

  2. Perfect example of why you work to live not live to work. I’m glad he has come to this realization while there still is time left to live. Some people don’t make this realization ever or wait until they are on death’s doorstep to realize they lived for other people who didn’t appreciate them and for an employer who sees them as nothing more than a cog in his machine. So quit your job, divorce your leech of a spouse and start knocking stuff off of your dream list. Too much time already has been wasted.

  3. It’s about the double standard if this was happening to a woman we would not care as much.THANKS FOR MANSPLANING! When women get cheated on like say Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox people jump to criticize the woman they blame the cheating on them! It is not about the ‘lack of ability to comprehend ‘ its about the same thing could happen to a woman and we would view it differently….YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CANNOT COMPREHEND!!! Oh and the guy sounds shallow as fuck! He regrets not being with the popular girl in highschool or college??? Aaaaand he thinks his book would change the world??? Really? Ha ! What a typical man when someone points out a double standard they quickly jump to silence you by trying to call you stupid using some passive agressive shit,or trying to suggest the lack of empathy or understanding. CRY ME A RIVER!!!MAN TEARS!!Guess what??? Women SACRIFICE WAAAAAY MORE!! Hey rembember Kafka??? He didn”t want to be a writer but he wrote WHILE HAVING ANOTHER JOB!! If this guy wanted to be a writer he could have wrote lots of people write and have wifes and children!! He is just making excuses he wants to blame everything and everyone BUT HIS LACK OF TALENT AND DRIVE!!! What is it with people thinking they could be artists??? If they were truly artistic they would not settle doing something else or they would end their lives. And if his wifes cheating is not even that important to the story why mention it?? Thanks for taking time out of your busy MAN SCHEDULE to explain the world to me!

    1. Hey, we wouldn’t have heard this if you didn’t bring it up. So, thanks to you we hear it both when it happens to a man and a woman. Equality folks. Now, I understand you have a “message”. You’re trying to put your voice out there, help women, broaden some minds, yada yada. Your comment though is just petty. You have risen to the level of the people you are complaining about. Good job. Way to keep the status quo.

  4. What about when women get cheated on? You hear things like”Oh he didn’t get his needs met” or some shit…When this happens to women we don’t care but when IT happens to a man we start to cry…

    1. Yet, this was not about women who get cheated on. We seem to take a topic, theme, in this case one person’s story and go off on a tangent where the rubber meets the road! This was about this man and his dissatisfaction with his life’s choices. It is not even about his wife cheating on him. The worse of it would be unrealized dreams, or he missing the illness and then passing of his father. Let’s stick to the topic. It shows so much in the lack of ability to comprehend and respond according to what we read and not some issues we have unresolved. It is not a crusade if the crusade is unaligned with the topic.

      1. I totally agree, some women could not even understand why he mentioned the most popular girl in high school, have they totally missed the part where he says ‘declining her for my now wife’ which means he loved her to bits! People really misinterpret things to a point that is beyond my understanding.

    2. Hey, we wouldn’t have heard this if you didn’t bring it up. So, thanks to you we hear it both when it happens to a man and a woman. Equality folks. Now, I understand you have a “message”. You’re trying to put your voice out there, help women, broaden some minds, yada yada. Your comment though is just petty. You have risen to the level of the people you are complaining about. Good job. Way to keep the status quo.

  5. For anyone who says this is heartbreaking, feels sympathy, etc, I have to wonder why. Everything that was written (and btw, I do NOT believe this is legit for several reasons, errors of several kinds throughout, but I digress) by the author is simply conscious choices that someone made. There is no sense of coercion anywhere in the article and a wife isn’t go to cheat for TEN years. If a woman is unhappy, she’s going to get out or get discovered cheating, one way or another, in less than ten years. Fake story.

  6. I am sorry for this gentleman for his experience in giving away the chance of shaking hand with his father for a last time. It is critical to quit good friends , especially with your parents. I must say that I did not take a girlfriend until I was much older. I dined in the feast offered by life in so many ways, I traced a path in Africa and the islands and a little in Europe. It was superb time. Boy, some of my experiences were touch and go. I was just that lucky to evaluate for a good outcome, every time. My ex is a psychologist and a smart cooky, but she wanted a new contract. I still got divorced as the offer was not good for me. Initially, it was seriously tough and lost a lot of friends as I changed my views. Still, I do not regret any of it and I have my son with me for the last 5 years. He is all mine and what a discovery to find a person that is smart and kind and tough and now 16. He teaches me life. I am so fortunate. Life will change again soon and we will relish the experience. Guys do not forget that we experience life in so many different ways and there are so many ways to experience life. What is good for you is not necessarily good for another. I realised that I was too adventurous for my ex and there you are. But it is amazing what is on offer. Just taste it, imbibe all these colours and voila.

    1. He sounds like a narcissist honestly. Why is he talking about the most popular girl in high school asking him out decades ago? He didn’t even care that his wife cheated on him.. Sounds like a cold, emotionless person.

  7. 46 years old is young! Your blessed not having to be in any of these wars..starving like many..a young girl as a sex slave….having no water..being in a earthquake ..flood…etc!!

  8. For anyone who says this is heartbreaking, feels sympathy, etc, I have to wonder why. Everything that was written (and btw, I do NOT believe this is legit for several reasons, errors of several kinds throughout, but I digress) by the author is simply conscious choices that someone made. There is no sense of coercion anywhere in the article and a wife isn’t go to cheat for TEN years. If a woman is unhappy, she’s going to get out or get discovered cheating, one way or another, in less than ten years. Fake story.

    1. Actually it does happen. I guess the lover isn’t the whole package either. And people stay married because that is what they are meant to do. No-one likes divorce; tricky socially. And staying can be a lifestyle choice as well.

    2. You’re naive to think this couldn’t happen. Fuck, the guy just wrote about it. As far as I’m aware, with humans, we kind of do just about everything we can. Cheating on your spouse for 10 years isn’t such a far-fetched idea. There are cannibals in the world, man. This is chump change to that.

  9. It’s totally up to the person, commitment is any every day decision. We’re adults, we know right from wrong, she would’ve done it even if he was a daredevil, some woman are whores, and men to.

    1. Thank you. the onus is not completely on his wife who cheated. He was missing somewhere in that relationship for 10 years to not know she had been cheating. Nowhere condoning what she did by any means, however, he does have ownership since it should not have taken that long for him to find out.

    2. Mkra Ressot Sorry, dumbing down is not my specialty. She needs to own her shit, but it is not totally her shit is it? He has some shit to own up to also being in a relationship for 10 years and not realizing sexually or intellectually or emotionally he was not being needed. Not saying her getting it, or whatever he wasn’t giving her was right, simply saying they both got some shit, if the situation is valid (true) to be owning up to at this point. Hopefully, that is as simple as anyone who code switches can do for you.

    1. I think he loves his wife a LOT!! and is blaming himself for a total slut bitch having other men’s cock/spunk in her for 10 fucking years. that’s some shit to deal brah! He was prob dismissed by her, that added to him working long hours, providing money for her to fucking spend on lingerie and the high life, while another man is in his bed boning the women he going work for.while she is spunking it up, literally. Most women would be happy they had a man providing for her and the family, no but these bitch aint happy, it wants the money and other cocks while using the husband for a high life, the excuse is, “YOUR NEVER HERE! – FUCK OFF.

  10. If u have fulfill her needs entirely as a couple not dwelling or concentrate on work work work spend quality time nourish the relationship keep the fire burning she wouldn’t have time to seek other men. Or some women are never satisfied with anything they have its natural for them to cheat. The ones that have it all don’t appreciate it some are looking for a good faithful man can’t get it Damm if u do Damm if u don’t people makes you change and learn how to trust. Good luck I hope you find the right trustworthy one.

  11. I hope he’s not blaming himself for her choice to cheat. She said it’s because he changed. What a cop out. I’m glad he’s still young enough to accomplish whatever he wants in life, hopefully with someone that will encourage his dreams and share the journey.

  12. Life is not over at 46 y/o! There is still time to write that novel and travel. There are many ways to get involved in helping others. Maybe you feel you wasted 26 years, but you can’t unring a bell, so move forward and live your dreams. Find your true self again.

    1. First, unless spoke to ALL Americans, the fact is there may be many, yet not all. Secondly, unless other countries, continents and nations do not have to live indoors, eat routinely, pay utilities, including internet service, it is not exclusive to Americans. Finally, retired, as a result, nowhere in that assumption that we all in that dismal trap! Thank Goodness!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top