5 Challenges Of Being A Single Mother and How To Overcome Them

Challenges Being Single Mother Overcome Them

Whether you are never married or Divorced, co-parenting with an ex or chose to be a single mother, one thing definitely stands true for you as you have entered the Single Mom status, Life will no longer be the same again!

According to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) report in 2014, 17% of children in the world, aged between 0 and 14, lived in single-parent families. The report also suggested that these households are run by single mothers across 88% of instances.

Fast forward to 2018, and in the US alone there were 11.3 million families headed by a single parent. Across 81% of these instances, that head of the family was a woman.

‘The Life of a Single Mom’, a sensitization platform aimed to educate on single motherhood, reports that the US has 300% more single-mother led families than what it was back in 1960.

Switch to a different part of the world – Japan – and a 2018 Bloomberg report suggested that between 1992 and 2016, the country’s single mother household shot up by 50%.

On the other hand, child poverty in single-parent families was marked at 56%, the highest among nations covered by OECD. 

A look at the numbers and one can easily imagine that single parenthood is no easy bargain. Especially for women, specifically because of emotional, biological and financial differences. The status of a single parent can come down hard on them.

Related: How To Communicate With Your Child If You Are a Single Parent?

However, it must also be said that with more awareness the world has come to acknowledge that women might well need to choose single parenthood over relationships that are toxic and dangerous.

That is still not to say that single motherhood comes with its own set of challenges and in this piece, we’ll get to know some obstacles and then ways to deal with them, without falling apart.

single mother and daughter

1. Financial distress

With children to look after and no partner to turn to in times of financial worry, single mothers are at a disadvantage.

It is also frequently believed that single mothers receive assistance from the government.

According to the 2009 US Census Data, only 41.3% of all custodial mothers receive financial assistance from the government.

Related: 6 Benefits for Children of “Older Mothers”

Other problems like inequality in gender pay also contribute to the larger issue, leaving single mothers to fend for housing and general upkeep of their children, leaving little for education and health.

What you can do about it:

No matter what your pay packet is, one strategy to cope as a single mother is to proactively look at budgeting.

Some experts say that a stash that covers all realistic expenses including healthcare and education is a good direction to move towards and maintain.

Alongside this, it might also be important to sensitive your children about finances and what expectations of theirs can be met without hassle.

This will keep communication open and also allow you to provide an authentic space. Developing a plan to get better pay is also a long-term approach that can retain your ambitions and give you hope.

2. Inner critical voice

inner voice

It is not tough to guess that when women come to be single mothers, they might still have notions of the “perfect family” intact. Consequently, they look at their own circumstances through that lens.

This means that the absence of a male figure, who acts as a father gore to the child or children, is then felt more strongly. This sends many single mothers to doubt and guilt trips.

“Am I doing enough for my child?”

“Could I have done this better if I had a partner?”

“How good am I as a mother if I couldn’t even figure the dynamics of an adult relationship?”

This can take the individual’s world by storm. So what can you possibly do about this kind of guilt?

What you can do about it:

Journaling can be an easy method to note your guilty feelings and thoughts.

If you allow yourself some time and space, your writing might reveal what the real source of guilt is. Once you discover that you might want to find out if it’s warranted or not.

If your guilt is only partially yours to own, you may then figure out steps to move past what is not yours.

Frequently, feelings of guilt are accompanied by other feelings like resentment and sadness. See if you can give yourself little exercises to identify these other feelings and then work with them and their source.

3. Unresolved anger

The process of getting out of a relationship or dealing with the death of a spouse, come with its own baggage.

Unresolved anger is a common outcome, especially for mothers that have gone through bitter divorce battles. Fresh adjustments combined with maintaining a life that the children can thrive in, can be draining.

In many cases, single mothers can develop anger issues and can even end up expressing their anger towards their own children in unconstrained ways.

What you can do about it:

Anger issues, especially those stemming from old, unresolved anger, may need you to take a step back initially.

Where is the anger stemming from?

Is it because you have to do everything single-handedly and yet, don’t have a space to unpack yourself?

Is it because of the stress of work, maintaining a family and looking after yourself, is becoming too much?

Is it because your children are refusing to listen to you?

Talk to someone you trust. Join a gym to release the pent-up frustration. But if you do have the resources and the inclination, sign up for therapy, which often takes you to the root of the problem. 

Related: How You Can Manage Your Anger And Never Let It Control You

4. Social isolation

In the narrative of single motherhood, increased responsibility is a recurring theme. With no support at home in the form of another person sharing the work, financial and emotional load, it is but natural to feel a growing distance between yourself and social commitments.

You might find yourself skipping lunches, family invitations or even outings with colleagues.

This can come down real hard especially if you aren’t the kind of person that needs plenty of personal space. For some single mothers, this tends to be downright depressing.

What you can do about it:

Begin by looking at your week as a structure that has some immovable elements and also some that, with some effort, can be blended with something else or done away with completely. This can help you free up time for yourself.

The next step for you might be to take a good look at how you want to allocate your time.

Have you been wanting to learn a new skill or join a reading or art group that meets on weekends?

Looking at time from a place of understanding and compassion can aid your journey.

5. Intense fatigue

Job, home, health, supplies, children, school, travel, repairs, emergencies. And the list really goes on for a single mother. Round-the-clock schedule that may quieten down over the weekends for another person, but not for a single mother.

Emotional, physical, psychological, and even religious commitments can make for demands that leave a single mom huffing and puffing, without hope for respite.

It is for anyone to guess that this form of functioning is unsustainable and can eventually induce extreme stress and even illness.

Related: 5 Tips on How to be a Successful Single Mother

What you can do about it:

Have a word with your children about how you might need some time by yourself every now and then.

While this may have come across as a surprise otherwise, a conversation will reset their expectations. Create a structure for the week and try to stick to it. Weekends also are no exception.

Related: 10 Sneaky Signs of Loneliness Which Say You’re Lonelier Than You Think

Also, see if you are generally committing to more than you can have on your plate. This might be the time to strengthen those boundaries.

The life of a single mother is not something many people can imagine, especially if they are not in the same position in their own life.

And in no way can a single mother’s entire list of struggles be considered and covered across a listicle. Nevertheless, if you’re reading this, we hope you walk away with some insights.


5 Big Challenges Of Being A Single Mother
Challenges Being Single Mother Overcome Them Pin

— About the Author —

Response

  1. sedakuday Avatar
    sedakuday

    Truly tough, am seeing my sister on first hand … well…such life is…nothing I’d write on stone, right ?

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How To Become A Better Father And Create Lasting Memories With Your Kids

How To Become A Better Father: Tips and Tricks

Wondering how to become a better father? It’s a question that has echoed through the ages, as fathers play a vital role in shaping the lives of their children. 

The journey of fatherhood is a unique and rewarding experience that requires patience, love, and a deep commitment to personal growth. Let us explore the essence of a good father and provide actionable tips on being a good father. 

Whether you are a new dad or have been on this journey for a while, this guide will serve as a compass to help you navigate the challenges and joys of fatherhood.

Who is a Good Father?



Up Next

When Your Grown Child Hurts Your Feelings: 9 Healing Strategies Every Parent Needs To Know

What To Do When Your Grown Child Hurts Your Feelings: Tips

As parents, we invest our hearts and souls into raising our children, nurturing them with love, support, and guidance. However, as they grow into mature adults and carve their own paths, the dynamics of our relationship inevitably change. When your grown child hurts your feelings, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it can often be difficult to cope with.

This can leave us feeling confused, saddened, and unsure about how to navigate these emotional challenges. So today let us take a look at what to do when your grown child hurts your feelings so that you can heal yourself and your relationships.

How It Feels When Your Grown Child Hurts Your Feelings

Imagine this: You’ve poured your he



Up Next

7 Ways To Heal From An Emotionally Unstable Mom

Emotionally Unstable Mom: Things That Can Help You Heal

Is you mother emotionally unstable? If you have an emotionally unstable mom, dealing with the effects of it can be challenging to say the least; it often leaves you with traumatic memories and complex emotions. However, you need to find ways to heal for your own emotional and mental well-being.

Explore 7 strategies that can greatly help you cope with an emotionally unstable mom.

Related: Raised By A Borderline Mother: Signs, Types, Effects, And How To Deal



Up Next

Bad Husband But Good Father? 8 Tips On How To Be A Better Dad And Husband 

Practical Tips on How to Be a Better Dad and Husband

Being married to a man who is a bad husband but a good father is a complex and challenging experience. It’s a situation where the joys and struggles of parenting coexist with the frustrations and disappointments of a strained marital relationship. So how to be a better dad and husband?

Today, we will try to gain a better understanding of the psyche of a bad husband but a good father and shed light on how you can encourage them to be both a better husband and father. Let’s dive in.

Who Exactly is a Bad Husband and Good Father?

A bad husband can be someone who falls short in their role as a partner. T



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasn’t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Only Child Syndrome: A Closer Look At The World Of An Only Child

Only Child Syndrome: Exploring An Only Child's World

What is the only child syndrome and how does an only child feel growing up without siblings? This article is going to talk about how it feels being an only child, and what it entails. So, let’s get started, shall we?

There is a stereotype that only children, children without siblings, fail to develop the ordinary social bonds and attachments that children with siblings do. The reality is more nuanced.

It does not follow that children with siblings are automatically more adaptable, more able to share, more able to understand group dynamics, but it is the case that only children didn’t grow up having to deal with



Up Next

Child Parentification: The Cause, Signs, and Recovery

Clear Signs Of Child Parentification In Adults

Ever felt like you were the parent instead of the child? That might be child parentification. Let’s explore its causes, signs, and how to recover together.

The term child parentification was coined in 1967 by family systems theorist Salvador Minuchin, who said the phenomenon occurred when parents de facto delegated parenting roles to children.

It can happen when one parent is physically absent or when a dysfunctional family is under stress because a parent cannot perform their parental responsibilities.

Usually, this is due to a phy