The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation. —Cheryl Hughes
Exactly this is what a person goes through when he/she discovers the lies, they never in the first place knew existed. Lies are a very powerful weapon to use to your advantage but at the expense of other’s trust.
The person who is cheated on experiences strong emotional and psychological distress following the discloser of the infidelity.
Suppose you are in a relationship with someone; you are complete, wholeheartedly dedicated to this one person and suddenly you realize things between you two are not as blissful as it initially was. Something seems off but you cannot really define what exactly is missing. You struggle to communicate your hunch that your relationship is going downhill. Despite your efforts, your partner keeps convincing you that the entire thing is in your mind and everything is soon going to be fine.
Within days you find out that your partner is cheating on you. The discovery is like a sudden gust of wind that approaches your life and wrecks emotional havoc. Most often than not, the news of your partner cheating on you will be anticipated.
When a person finds out he/she is being cheated on, he/she is initially taken aback, is in shock and denial, trying to comprehend the knowledge. Once the knowledge settles in on him/her, the person is shattered to the point of being physically affected by it. Feelings of lack of self-worth, betrayal and self-hatred follow. You will start asking yourself “Where did I go wrong?”, you will repeatedly ruminate over moments where you could have overlooked the signs of cheating, you will overthink about ways you have saved the relationship. But alas! all of your efforts will seem useless.
Before you cheat on her, just consider these few things:
Cheating on her will break her in every possible way.
It will break her spirit.
It will distort her sense of self.
It will break her trust, not only on you but on the entire male community.
She will never be able to trust the power of love.
She will forget to smile.
She will be a living dead. She will lose her sleep over the countless prayers for answers from the almighty she never thought she believed in.
She will forget to eat – she will starve as it is not her body that is hungry; it’s her soul yearning for your affection.
She will not smile— not because it is impossible to smile but because she believes there is no reason to smile anymore.
Before you cheat, know that you are sending her the following messages:
“You are beautiful,” as “but not beautiful enough.”
“You are amazing,” as “but not amazing enough.”
“You meant the world to me,” as “but someone is better.”
“You were the love of my life,” as “but I found another worth more.”
You will teach her that she is not worthy enough to be loved.
Before you cheat on her just know that she will cry, she will howl her heart out but she will still be overcome with emotions every time she thinks of you.
She will blame herself for not being worthy enough. She will question her potentials, her depth of affection for you. She will question her fate. She will wonder why the other woman deserved you more than she did.