Human beings weren’t meant to live by themselves. Life is so much easier when you have someone to be with you through the good times and the bad.
We all need a person to be with us when we’re sobbing our hearts out; someone who will hold us in their arms and tell us it is going to be okay. But it isn’t easy to find that person on the first try. The only way to find them is through trial and error and this often ends in heartbreak and pain. It will be increasingly difficult to give someone new an opportunity to get inside our walls because we’ve been hurt enough and more times and nobody actually wants to go through that kind of pain over and over again. The heart may be strong but it is also delicate and we all have a limit that we cannot cross.
I’ve been making the same mistake for quite a while now. I keep telling myself that I should give myself to someone else simply because they said that they want to be with me. It never occurred to me to check if they actually deserved me. I’ve made so many mistakes but now I know that is important to find a man who can prove that he truly cares about me. I can’t be with someone who just wants me in order to fulfill their own selfish desires. It simply hurts too much.
This will be a man whose actions will speak much, much louder than his words. If he tells me that he will be there, he will do whatever it takes to stick to his word.
He’ll genuinely want to know what kind of day I had at work and if I didn’t have a good one, he’ll do what he can to make me feel good again. He’ll do all sorts of little things to show his love. He’ll turn up the heat inside the car when it gets too cold outside, he’ll help me with shopping for the household and take the bags that are too heavy for me. And best of all, whenever we go on a date, he’ll work hard to ensure that both of us will actually have a nice, romantic time.
And here’s the thing, he’ll do all these things because they come naturally to him. He won’t be the kind of person who treats you terribly most of the time and is only nice to you when they feel like they’re pushing your limits. This person will be super sweet after a huge fight, not because they care about you, but because they want something from you so they can’t afford to lose you till they’ve fulfilled their own selfish desires. Once they’re done with you, they’ll make some flimsy excuse and rush out, leaving you behind to pick up your own pieces.
The guy that I want right now won’t do any of these things. He’ll love me for who I am and he will be as proud of me as I am of him. He’ll take pride in my achievements and declare them to the whole, wide, world simply because he is happy for me. He’ll never talk me down behind my back.
He’ll genuinely have a good time when he’s with me and he’ll ensure that I am having fun as well. He takes a lot of pleasure in being with me but he will also understand that I am an independent individual with a life of my own. I’ll never be his last resort for anything and he will always be completely honest with me. If I ask him something, he’ll either say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. He will know better than to give me false hope. Being with him will be as simple and natural as breathing.
Even if he is away, he will always remember me. He won’t ignore me at the end of the week or leave me wondering where he is. He’ll retain his own independence but he’ll let me know where he is and that he loves me. He knows that I will worry for him if I don’t hear from him for a while so he will always call to check in on me and he knows that I will do the same for him.
Of course, it won’t be perfect. No relationship can be perfect. We’ll have fights and arguments because, in the end, we are only human.
But when we do fight, I can rest assured that he won’t leave me and I won’t leave him. We might give each other some space to calm down, but soon enough we’ll be back in each other’s arms. He will also never think that I’ll just get over some issue. He’ll actively try to make me feel good again. He doesn’t wish to be the cause of my pain because he truly cares about how I feel.
When I see him, I’ll be able to see our whole life together. Every day that I am with him, I can feel myself becoming a better person.
I know that I feel that way because I want to be good enough to keep him happy every single day of his life. He knows that I have been hurt multiple times, and chances are, he has also been through heartbreak at some point or the other. We both respect each other’s needs and do our best to put the other person first, over and above our own desires.
We will be able to do all this because, with regard to relationships, neither of us is going to settle for less than this. We will stay together because we truly love and care about each other. Together, we will climb new heights every day.
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