No matter how long you’ve been together.
When couples first start dating and fall in love, they usually spend a significant amount of time doing fun things together as a couple and spending quality time together.
Most people believe that the playfulness and spark in their relationship will last forever, but over time, with all of the work deadlines, shuffling kids, household chores, and the rest of your everyday boring routines, taking time to have fun together often takes a back seat.
That’s why making time to do fun things together as a couple when you’re bored can help you strengthen your intimacy, improve your relationship and, ultimately, learn how to fall in love more deeply.
Keeping the fun alive in your relationship is critical for your long-term happiness. Research from The University of Denver shows that couples who make time for fun activities tend to stay together longer.
“The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high and significant. The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time,” says Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the university’s Center for Marital and Family Studies.
In the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by psychologist Arthur Aron of State University of New York-Stony Brook and colleagues, findings showed that sharing in new and exciting activities is consistently associated with better relationships.
In one set of experiments, some couples are assigned a mundane task that involves simply walking back and forth across a room. Other couples, however, take part in a more challenging exercise — their wrists and ankles are bound together as they crawl back and forth pushing a ball.
Before and after the exercise, the couples were asked things like, “How bored are you with your current relationship?”
The couples who took part in the more challenging and novel activity showed bigger increases in love and satisfaction scores, while couples performing the mundane task showed no meaningful changes.
Here are 6 fun things to do as a couple when you’re bored that will strengthen your relationship and help you fall more deeply in love.
1. Schedule a date night.
Put doing couples activities on the calendar and stick to it. Don’t get discouraged if your spouse forgets. Take responsibility for making sure it happens.
Brainstorm all the possibilities of what is a great date. List what would light your fire and share your lists. Then, take turns making them happen.
2. Be open to trying new things.
One of the best ways to have fun together as a couple is to get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, your idea of fun is different from your partner’s idea of fun. But, you might be surprised and like trying something new much more than you thought you would!
Remember, if your partner is willing to try something new for you in return, be supportive and be their hero.
3. Stay in the moment.
Dwelling on conflicts and the negative feelings you may be having for your partner at the moment may threaten to ruin a fun activity.
Agree ahead of time to focus on having fun during the activity and to discuss important issues at another time.
4. Play as a team.
Competition between couples can become an issue when participating in games or sport.
If you are the competitive type, try and pick activities that you can do as a team. Accomplishments that you fulfill together will only strengthen your bond and help you fall more deeply in love.
5. Take advantage of the simple things.
Seemingly mundane moments you have every day can add a little fun. These can become rituals in the relationship. Rituals are important because they are the little ways that we connect every day.
Try a silly twist to saying “hello” or “good-bye” or make it a habit to stop and watch the sunset on the way back from running errands. It doesn’t need to be big, but it can have a big impact.
6. Go on a couples retreat.
A retreat is something you can schedule for just the two of you or with a Relationship Coach or Therapist. Retreats give couples the chance to rediscover each other. It can create an atmosphere of bonding that you can never get while in the middle of your everyday lives.
You can uncover barriers and remember why you fell in love in the first place. Attending a retreat with Coach or Therapist gives you a partnership to help facilitate a change or shift to take your relationship to the next level while having fun at the same time. What a winning combination!!
Doing these six simple things will not only help you learn how to fall in love with your spouse again but also bring your connection and intimacy to the next level. And the best part? You can have a blast doing it!
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Written by Kim Morse
Originally appeared on Yourtango.com
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