12. Heartbreak teaches you who you don’t want to be.
Everyone has been there. They’ve turned into versions of themselves they are embarrassed by. Whether it’s drinking to get over someone and saying and doing crazy things to desperate acts trying to win them back. You look back and you realize this person made you a version of yourself you don’t like and that’s okay.
13. It teaches you who your friends are.
When you’ve completely fallen apart that’s when your real friends step up to the plate to be what you need. And they see you at your worst. You are most vulnerable. The saddest and worst shape you’ve ever been and they stay. At least you have someone who does.
14. It teaches you what you need and want in your next partner.
You might have loved them through every flaw they had. But when a relationship ends you can look back and only after the fact you can say, I didn’t like it when they did this. I need a partner more like this. Every relationship is a learning experience for something better.
15. Don’t look at it like you did something wrong.
It’s never just one person’s fault but rather both people. It takes two people to have a successful relationship. So regardless of who ended it, it’s their fault too.
16. Take the time to learn to fall back in love with yourself.
Sometimes when you are in a relationship, you lose yourself to it. Especially when you’re with someone you value a little more than yourself. Someone you love more than yourself. That’s when relationships fail; when you look at this person as someone to admire too much and not as your equal.
Remember what it’s like to love yourself. Take the time to rebuild that relationship. When things end, it’s easy to point out your flaws and say, “they left because of this (fill in insecurity)” but don’t pick yourself apart. This is the time to do the opposite.
17. Become their biggest regret.
People come back around when they realize how much happier you are without them. And I’m not saying try and make them jealous by dating someone so fast. I’m saying become a version of yourself they can’t even touch. When you build yourself up and you reestablish the relationship you have with yourself that’s when you attract someone even better. That’s when you heal.
18. Date again when you’re ready, not lonely.
It is no one’s job to fill the void someone left you with or heal you. It is their job to love you and treat you well. But to get there you can’t just jump right back into dating when you are hurt because when you date someone when you’re still heartbroken, even if they could be your soulmate, you won’t offer them what they deserve because all you have is bits of pieces of your heart that hasn’t healed.
Regardless of how great the next person might be than the first, one is always the rebound. Give yourself time to heal. You don’t need a relationship when all you need to do is establish one with yourself first.