There is an old wife saying, the boy you date is not the man you marry. And it might be true because there can be many differences between the boy you date and the man you marry.
Every relationship might look perfect on the outside but in some of them, the love is seldom rooted. When one starts dating, one has longtime goals in mind which are completely understandable. But the fact is, not everyone you date is supposed to be the person you end up spending your life with.
Marriage is a long-term commitment, and one that is built on devotion, understanding, and emotional maturity. For a marriage to work, it’s very important to put in effort every day; it’s not always about having fun. We like to believe that the person we date in our teenage years or during our young adulthood is our soulmate, our life partner.
As per research, not every romantic relationship amounts to marriage. Now, you must be asking, what goes wrong?
There could be numerous factors that influence the course of a relationship and determine if an existing romantic relationship will ever materialize into marriage or not. One of the reasons is love. Love might be the fundamental requirement but it is not the only ingredient for a successful marriage.
More than love, intimacy and mutual relationship satisfaction hold more value in the long term. Mutual respect, emotional and physical intimacy, and valuing each other’s individual choices are the things that matter today.
Even though choices are distinct and subjective, these 15 differences between the boy you date and the man you marry might resonate with you. Check it out for yourself.
Related: 11 Signs You’re With The Man You Should Marry
15 Differences Between The Boy You Date And The Man You Marry
1. Commitment
The boy you date:
He wants to hang out with you without having any strings attached. Dating for him is fun and frivolous, and for him, there’s nothing to be serious about. It is more about being wild and free.
The sense of commitment is low and the raging hormones take control. If you try to talk to him about serious commitment, chances are he’ll flake or avoid the conversation.
The man you marry:
He sets out with goals in his mind and is clear about the course of the relationship and where he wants to head with you in the future.
He is not scared of serious conversations that center around marriage and commitment, and he’s always open to it. For him, marriage is not a scary concept, and he’s all for it.
2. Respect
The boy you date:
He will always treat you like an option, and never a priority. For him, you’re someone with whom he’s having fun.
He will make you laugh at his substandard jokes, and expect you to treat him like a king. Respecting your partner is an alien concept for him.
The man you marry:
One of the most important qualities the man you marry should have is that he respects you. And not just because you’re his significant other, but because you’re a human being.
This man knows how to respect others and treat all everyone with honor and respect. He is the man who perfectly represents good manners, chivalry, and mutual respect.
Related: Why You Should Definitely Marry The Man Who Sends You Morning Texts
3. Responsibility
The boy you date:
He wants it casual with you. He only wants the good parts of having to date you while abandoning the responsibility that you are. He turns a cold shoulder to accountability and leaves you hanging dry more often than you would like.
The man you marry:
He never flees from responsibilities, is more than happy to take care of you, and commits to you, both emotionally and physically. He knows the value of a serious relationship, and he leaves no stone unturned to make sure it’s a success, and most importantly, that you’re happy.
4. Understanding
The boy you date:
Understanding will always be absent, and he will expect you to do what he wants and likes, but he will never do the same for you. He will pick fights with you whenever he gets a chance and will engage in petty blame games because it’s all about winning for him.
The man you marry:
This man will be understanding of your needs and will help you calm down every time you feel that your head is going to burst with all the stress you’re going through.
He knows how to handle you with maturity, and will never make you feel guilty about your emotions and feelings.
Related: Is He Marriage Material? Signs Of A High Value Man and Why He’s Perfect For You
5. Sensitivity
The boy you date:
He is a crybaby, making excuses to always put you down. He might even use physical force, explicit and other unacceptable means to win every argument with you. For him, you are nobody important who should be treated with respect and kindness.
The man you marry:
He fights fairly and in a healthy way; he is not out to get you, nor is he trying to compete with you. For him, the relationship comes first, and he cares more about resolving the issues rather than winning the argument. He will never fight meaninglessly and will fight with logic and reason.
This is one of the major differences between the boy you date and the man you marry.
6. Loving you the right way
The boy you date:
He will be sloppy in his comments and won’t care about how his words might be hurting you. Making comments about your weight, physical appearance, family, mental health, job, etc is a routine thing, and he doesn’t understand the damage he is causing. He just isn’t sensitive enough to understand the subtle consequences.
The man you marry:
He will accept you just as you are, with all your imperfections and flaws. Men like him always value feelings, emotions, and human beings, rather than what looks good on the outside. He is open-minded and loving, and not superficial at all.
7. Genuine apologies
The boy you date:
He will say sorry to cheer you up just to stop you from nagging him about how much you hurt him. These ‘sorries’ will never run deep or mean genuine feelings of guilt on his part. Repeatedly saying sorry but not trying to change his attitude is something he does.
The man you marry:
He will genuinely apologize to you, whenever you communicate to him that he has hurt you. You can see that pain in his eyes because of the pain he has caused you. His apologies will be heartfelt and will accompany his changed behavior.
Related: Never Marry These 8 Type Of Guys, No Matter How Head Over Heels You Are In Love
8. Maturity
The boy you date:
He is an immature man, who always expects you to do everything for him. He demands you to baby him, take care of him, and take responsibility for him. He is basically a child in the body of a man. Even though he is perfectly capable of doing his own thing, he will always push you to do his work.
The man you marry:
He rather wants you to be independent. And he will be more than glad if you are able to take care of yourself and pursue your own goals. He doesn’t expect you to mother him all the time, because he is strong and independent enough to take care of himself.
9. Knowing your close ones
The boy you date:
He will always be excited to meet your close ones, be it family or friends. But his intentions might not always be the best. If he meets your girlfriends, he might be over-friendly and start flirting with them. He will try to be uncomfortably close to your family, bordering on obsessive and disturbing.
The man you marry:
He will not only wish to know your family and friends but would also want to spend quality time with them alongside you. He will want to be in their good books, but he will never cross or disrespect anybody’s boundaries and will treat everybody with kindness and respect.
10. Meeting the parents
The boy you date:
He doesn’t care about thinking long-term and is not really interested in taking things further with you. Hence meeting your parents will never really excite him that much. He might even dread it.
The man you marry:
He will be eager to meet your parents because he knows that you’re the one for him. He will gel well with them and will give his best in creating a lasting and healthy relationship with them. Men like him know that knowing your partner’s parents and having a close bond with them is very important. So these signals whether to marry the guy or not.
11. Marriage
The boy you date:
He will fantasize about marriage but will never have the guts or seriousness to take it forward. He borders on commitment phobia and is terrified of the thought of committing to someone for life.
The man you marry:
This is one of the most important differences between the boy you date and the man you marry. For the latter, he has already made you his wife, and his life partner, in his heart, mind, and soul. For him, now it’s just a matter of time before things become official.
Related: The 5 Types Of Men You Should Never Fall In Love With (EVER)
12. Talking about things that matter
The boy you date:
He will change the course of a conversation according to his advantage. Whenever he will feel like he doesn’t want to talk about something, or he’s uncomfortable, he will either avoid the conversation or he will try to guilt you into not talking about it.
The man you marry:
He knows the importance of discussing a crucial topic that needs to be attended to. Even if he feels uncomfortable, he will choose to discuss it, because he knows that avoiding important topics is not the solution. He will only have a genuine interest in the relationship and nothing else in mind.
13. Forgiveness
The boy you date:
He refuses to forgive you for your mistakes. He is self-focused and only concerned about how you make him feel, not willing to put himself in your shoes. Every little mistake of yours is scrutinized and used as a weapon to hurt and wound you.
The man you marry:
He forgives you truly and readily because he knows and understands that true love and forgiveness go hand in hand. He forgives you and clearly communicates his concerns, and never holds any grudges against you, just because you made a mistake.
14. Emotional support
The boy you date:
He is only there in your good times and is only concerned about having fun and making merry. When you are going through something hard, he is nowhere to be found, and even if you ask for his support, he either ignores you or makes you feel like you’re asking for too much.
The man you marry:
He definitely loves having fun with you, but will diligently stick by you when you are falling apart. He will act as the glue to piece yourself together back again and will help you every step of the way. A man like him doesn’t believe in abandoning the person they love, just because things are tough.
Related: 7 Techniques That Inspire A Man To Treat You Like A Queen
15. Love and security
The boy you date:
He will always be unsure of you, and of both of you as a unit. He will never be able to provide you with the security and comfort you deserve, and will instead always keep you wondering where you stand in his life, and whether the relationship has any future or not.
The man you marry:
This is one of the major differences between the man you date vs the man you marry. He is the kind of man who will wrap you up in protection, and security, and gift you the life you deserve.
And he won’t do it as a favor to you, he will do it because he loves you and he knows how to treat someone you love, in the right way. You will never have to wonder about his intentions because you will feel safe and loved all the time.
These are the main differences between the boy you date and the man you marry. Make your choice wisely, and you will see what true love and unfiltered happiness really feel like!
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