Why You Must Stop Loving The Wrong People

 / 

,
why you must stop loving the wrong people

Loving the wrong people: Not everyone deserves your love, respect, and adoration. Stop. Reflect. And realize that you need to protect yourself and your heart from getting hurt.

Listen up, not every person deserves the love you have to give.

Take a moment to reflect on the society that we are living in. A society of participation trophiesโ€”awards for just showing up. A society of some high school football teams who have stopped keeping scores at games so nobodyโ€™s feelings get hurt.

A society of endless internet memes that proclaim that everyone deserves love and is perfect just the way they are. But whose love is it that they are deserving of? It has to come from somewhere โ€“ and that somewhere is you and me.

Do you feel that everyone is deserving of the love you can give?

Related: Why Do We Get Attracted To People Who Are Wrong For Us?

Now, this may not be the warm and fuzzy feeling of an article you are used to from me, but sometimes warm, fuzzy, unconditional reinforcement isnโ€™t good if youโ€™re reinforcing the wrong thing.

The issue with a society that teaches everyone is perfect the way they are, is that it encourages no improvement or change. No standards. No willingness to move forward because the current scenario is just fine, right?

Wrong.

Some people lie. Some people cheat. Some people abuse. Some people mistreat you or others around you. And if we donโ€™t stand up and tell them what theyโ€™re doing is wrong, they will never change. It is like a dog who misbehaves and we continue to reward him/her with treats, expecting that someday they will understand their actions are unacceptable. It doesnโ€™t work that way.

The ones who work to become better are deserving of your love. The ones who will do everything for you that you will do for them and expect nothing in return. The ones who will care for you as if you were an extension of themselves. The ones who compromise, sacrifice, and fight for you.

Those are the people who deserve your love.

Loving the wrong person
Loving the wrong person

I know there will inevitably be people who talk about psychological issues and things people canโ€™t control. I know some out there had bad childhoods or traumatic experiences that affected the person they are, and that does not mean they are undeserving of love โ€“ but the expectations should be set that in order to actually receive this love they deserve (from you), they need to work to change and improve.

Stop giving your time, your body, and most of all โ€“ your heart, to people who havenโ€™t earned it.

Raise the standards you have for yourself and those around you. Raise your standards for what you expect out of people in order to allow them into your life.

Give everyone a chance to earn what you have to give, but donโ€™t give it away freely, or eventually, you will have nothing left.


Written by James Michael Sama
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project
Why You Must Stop Loving The Wrong People
Why You Must Stop Loving The Wrong People
why you must stop loving the wrong people pin
why you must stop loving the wrong people

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

Unpacking Parentification Trauma: The Burden of Growing Up Too Soon

What Is Parentification Trauma? Seven Types, Effects and Healing

The excitement of childhood is beautiful, when your biggest worry was whether your favorite cartoon was on TV. Some kids don’t have a childhood as carefree. Parentification trauma becomes a real issue when a child is thrust into the shoes of a grown-up.

The child takes on responsibilities beyond their years. It’s like playing a role in a movie you didn’t audition for. This is the reality for those who’ve experienced the issue โ€“ a lesser-known yet impactful challenge that shapes lives in unexpected ways.

What is Parentification Trauma?

It might be your question, though–what is parentification trauma? The trauma occurs when a child is placed in a role that reverses their expected position within the family dynamic.



Up Next

Celebrity Breakup Lessons: Six Things To Learn From Celebrity Breakups

Six Celebrity Breakup Lessons You Must Know

Celebrity marriages, no matter how passionate and glamorous, face their own challenges, as they too must navigate the realities of day-to-day life together. Celebrity breakups are very common nowadays and hence here are some celebrity breakup lessons you can learn.

The intense scrutiny of Hollywood and constant paparazzi presence can exact a significant toll. Additionally, the dynamics can shift over time, especially for female movie stars, given the industry’s emphasis on youth.

Similarly, high net-worth couples may encounter similar issues, with the pressure to maintain a certain image. In such cases, there is a tendency for the concept of a “trophy wife” to come into play, where appearances play a significant role in the relationship.

For example, According to People Magazine, a source close t



Up Next

How To End A Casual Relationship Because You Want More

How To End A Casual Relationship Because You Want More Tips

Are you caught in a casual relationship but yearning for something more serious? Ending it can be tough, but it’s important to be honest and respectful. Let us explore how to end a casual relationship because you want more.

How to end a casual relationship because you want more

Casual relationships can be fun and exciting, but sometimes they just don’t cut it. Maybe you’ve been seeing someone casually for a while, and you’ve started to develop feelings for them. Or maybe you’ve realized that you’re just



Up Next

8 Major Reasons To Breakup With Someone

Reasons To Break Up With Someone

Relationships can be a beautiful journey, but sometimes, despite our best efforts, they reach a point where it’s time to say goodbye.

In this article, we’re going to explore the 8 major reasons why it might be time to part ways with your partner. Whether you’re facing relationship challenges yourself or simply curious about the dynamics of love, this article will shed light on the crucial signs to watch out for.

Now before we dive in, always remember that every relationship is unique. These reasons we’re about to share might not fit every single situation, but they can still give you some heartfelt insights to help you navigate your own love life. So, let’s get real about the stuff that makes our hearts skip a beat or sometimes break into a million pieces.



Up Next

Navigating Relationship Challenges: 7 Essential Steps For When Your Partner Is Thinking Of Leaving

7 Things To Do When Your Partner Is Thinking of Leaving You

When your partner is thinking of leaving you, it’s probably one of the worst things to go through in life. When your boyfriend leaves you or when your partner leaves you, picking up the pieces and moving on can be challenging. So, what to do when your partner leaves you or when your partner is leaving you?

It seems to me in our great grandparents and grandparentsโ€™ era, people seemed to stay together no matter what. In todayโ€™s fast-moving, perfectionistic world people seem quick to leave no matter what.

In my therapy practice, I often help ambivalent clients differentiate between deal-brea



Up Next

Surviving a Relationship Breakdown: How to Navigate the Stages and Find Closure

Surviving a Relationship Breakdown: 5 Stages To Find Closure

Have you ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work out? Despite your best efforts, things started to crumble, and eventually, the relationship fell apart? A relationship breakdown can be tough but there are ways to overcome it.

So, what causes breakdowns in relationships?

Now, a relationship breakdown can happen for a variety of reasons.

In many cases, relationship breakdowns occur when one or both partners begin to feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied in the relationship, and they are unable to work through their issues together.

Red Flags For A Relationship Breakdown

Relations



Up Next

What Is Imago Relationship Therapy? How It Can Transform Your Marriage And Heal Past Trauma

What Is Imago Relationship Therapy Steps For A Deeper Connection

Do you experience frequent conflicts in your relationship? Do you feel an emotional disconnection with your partner? Then maybe imago relationship therapy can help you heal from past trauma and avoid triggers to build a more positive relationship with your partner.

What is imago relationship therapy (IRT)?

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), commonly known as Imago therapy, is a form of couples therapy that aims to help couples deepen their connection, increase their intimacy, and resolve conflicts by helping them understand and communicate with each other more effectively.

Imago is a Latin word meaning โ€œimageโ€. It is believed that in