Why People With Depression Are The Best Ones To Fall In Love With

/

,
Why People With Depression Are The Best Ones To Fall In Love With

Sometimes, people with depression are the best ones to fall head over heels in love with, you know.

The truth is we aren’t.

I could tell you we feel things deeper. We care more. We are more sensitive and understanding and compassionate because the only thing worse than overcoming others is overcoming our own demons.

But the honest truth is people with depression aren’t the best ones to fall in love with.

We aren’t easy to deal with.

We are complicated and don’t even understand ourselves sometimes.

And there are days where we are completely intolerable and irrational and filled with such negativity it will drain you.

The honest truth is there are a million healthier, less stressful people you could fall for.

Because the reality of falling in love with someone who has depression comes with entering a world and a topic you probably don’t know much about. But in time, you’ll learn first hand how depression affects someone.

There is nothing glamorized about the nights we fall apart and are a complete basket case and there’s going to be nothing you can do to fix it. And before your eyes, it’s not this person you might have fallen in love with. Everything about us looks the same but it’s like a switch went off and you’re trying to bring us back but all you can do is watch in horror as we’ve transformed into some kind of monster.

There is nothing lovely about those days where our head takes us to a really dark place and we become a version of ourselves we don’t recognize. Or those times we haven’t eaten or showered or left the house in days and you want to help but you feel helpless too.

There’s a sadness to watching the person you love in public put on such an act and you watch because you know how good they are at fooling everyone. There’s a sadness to watching someone you love, make others and yourself so happy and you just want them to bring as much joy to themselves.

There’s a sadness to this person who doesn’t see themselves the way the rest of the world does and no matter how much you try and build them up they knock themselves down.

There’s heartbreak to holding the person you love as they cry and they wonder why you love them. And they tell you to leave. They tell you that you can do better than someone who cannot control this mental illness that they blame themselves for. But you know it’s not their fault. You know when they push you away is when they need you most.

To understand depression and loving someone with it means to understand they’ll say one thing and mean the other.

Related: What It’s Like To Be In Love When You Have Depression

To love someone with depression is understanding a simple trigger will bring them to a very dark place they don’t wish to go to but can’t control.

Understanding depression and loving someone is understanding a “bad day,” it’s just something they feel inside regardless of what is going on with them.

It’s knowing to not ask the question “Why are you depressed?”. Because we don’t have an answer.

It just comes in unwanted waves one after another drowning us in our own deep thoughts and we don’t want to reach for you to save us. We don’t want to seem like a burden. We don’t want you to feel obligated to be here out of guilt. Because we feel guilty enough for putting you through this. And that’s why people with depression are the hardest to love.

Loving someone with depression is the anticipation of those days. You’re always waiting for this thing to ruin your best day. It stays hidden lurking in the shadows.

When you love someone with depression you want to help. You hold them in the late hours of the night when they are crying. You tell them to go back to sleep when it’s two am and they are awake.

You are the strength on their weak days and that’s a lot to ask of someone.

So no, people with depression aren’t the best to fall in love with because it takes a very rare person to be able to tolerate that and choose that.

You begin to hate depression because it makes the person you love into someone they aren’t. And you have to keep reminding yourself “This isn’t them, it’s depression.” You hate it but you learn to accept it.

And together you begin to just take it one day at a time. You begin to appreciate the good days that are few and far between but make the bad days worth tolerating.

The truth is if you love someone with depression and you can help them through their bad days, you can be the light in the darkness, be the company in states of loneliness in return you will find someone who loves you unconditionally.

You will find someone who will love you so deeply.

You will find someone who will love you so hard it redefines what you thought love meant.

You will find someone who will be loyal to you forever.

You will find someone who will accept the worst parts about you and teach you to love that too.

You’ll find someone who is always grateful for even the little things.

In return, you’ll have someone who will do anything for you and someone who will never stop telling you how much you mean to them. You’ll find someone who always puts effort into you even if it comes in the form of overcompensating.

The truth is if you love someone with depression you’ll realize and appreciate a new sense of beauty to all they are. Because there is something to be said about someone who picks themselves up every time they fall.

Related: 5 Things to Remember If You Love A Person With Depression

There is something to be said about someone who has the ability to channel this negativity in their life into something positive.

There is something to be said about this person who works hard and stays busy and accomplishes a lot simply because that’s what will keep them having “good days.”

There is a strength to people with depression. There is a beauty to them. There is an appreciation for life despite those “bad days” where they question everything. And you’ll watch them handle all of this with as much grace as they can and you’ll love them even more for it.

So maybe we aren’t the best people to fall in love with but once you do there’s no going back.

Because on those bad days when we are crying and wondering why you deal with us when we tell you to leave, there will be the smallest glimmer of hope in our eyes, when you look at us and say, “I’m choosing to stay.”


Written By Kirsten Corley
Follow Her Work On Facebook
This Is Why People With Depression Are The Best Ones To Fall In Love With
Why People With Depression Are The Best Ones To Fall In Love With
People Depression Best Ones Fall In Love pin
Why People With Depression Are The Best Ones To Fall In Love With
  • Workplace Bullying: How To Deal With Bullies At Work
  • Lack Of Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon To True Self
  • The Rise in Armchair Psychologists on Social Media
  • 30+ Inspiring Quotes About Forgiveness To Let Go Of The Painful Past
Up Next

Exhausted! 10 Signs You Are Tired Of Life (And How To Cope With It)

Signs you are tired of life

Are you tired of life? Do you feel mentally and emotionally exhausted all the time? The constantness of life can often feel too overwhelming. You feel like you have reached the edge and have lost all interest in life.

Regardless of what you do, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to catch a break. Everything seems too daunting and you just don’t have the will to move one step forward. You feel like you have had enough.

  • Enough of responsibilities.
  • Enough of problems.
  • Enough of heartbreaks.
  • Enough of broken relationships.
  • Enou

READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

7 Ways Vecna in Stranger Things 4 Is An Allegory For Mental Illness

Ways Vecna Stranger Things Allegory For Mental Illness

Stranger Things isn’t just a horror television show but it implicitly tells us the importance of mental health and having friends or family beside us in the most daunting times of our lives.

Because there is an upside down in our inner world. The one that’s dark and hidden from everyone else. 

The main antagonist Vecna or ‘01’ in Stranger Things Season 4 is named after a classic D&D god, but it stands as a metaphor for something deeper. Let’s find out about externalizing trauma and depression in Stranger things season 4.

Warning: SPOILERS ahead.

Stranger Things on Netflix introduced us to frightful creatures like the Demogorgon and the Mind Flayer in its first three


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Why You Hate Everyone And What To Do About It

Why hate everyone what to do about it

Do you think socializing is a BIG waste of time? Do people appear shallow and superficial to you? I am not the greatest fan of socializing due to my innate hatred for people. I know I hate everyone and if you are somewhat like me, then it is likely that you have also wondered “Why do I hate everyone?”.

Why do I hate everyone

For some of us, interacting with others can feel like a chore that we would rather skip than enjoy. I have personally realized that spending - rather investing - emotions, energy, and time on people is a risky gamble that I would r


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Everything You Need To Know About Bipolar Disorder

bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder (BD), also known as manic depression, is a mental disorder that can cause extreme changes in mood - from high, elated moods (mania/hypomania) to low or “down” periods (depression).

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric condition where your thoughts, emotions, mood, behavior and energy levels become highly erratic and magnified. It is marked by recurrent episodes of mania or hypomania where you can experience an elevated mood, which is quickly followed by episodes of depression. Such episodes can last from a few days to a few weeks. It is also identified as bipolar affective disorder and manic-depressive illness.

Studies show that about


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Do You Have Crippling Depression? Here Are The Signs You Should Know About

Crippling Depression

Do you feel that your life has come to a stop due to depression? Do you feel exhausted and worthless? Do you lack the motivation and energy to do anything? Is it becoming increasingly hard to get through your day? You just might be suffering from crippling depression.

Crippling depression is an alternate, mainstream term and a modern slang term for major depressive disorder (MDD) or clinical depression. However, people who suffer from this variation of depression explain it as a severe form of major depression with more intense symptoms, leaving the sufferers unable to function normally in their daily life. Someone with crippling depression and anxiety may not be able to do basic tasks in the


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
What Would You Do In This Situation First? Your Answer Reveals Your Personality Traits What You Need To Change In Your Life, According To Your Zodiac Sign What A Man Looks For In A Woman Based On His Zodiac Sign How Each Zodiac Sign Acts When They Hate Someone Type A Personality Quiz: Do You See Tree, Roots Or Lips?