What Not To Say To Someone With Anxiety? 5 Things You Should Avoid Saying

 / 

,

What not to say to someone with anxiety? When you are dealing with an anxious person, you need to show them empathy and open-mindedness. Encouraging someone with anxiety is one of the best things you can do for them. On the other hand, there are certain things you should not say if you are thinking about how to help someone with anxiety.

KEY POINTS

  • Telling someone with anxiety to โ€œget it togetherโ€ or that theyโ€™ll figure it out is often unhelpful.
  • Sometimes an anxious person doesnโ€™t want to hear that they are fine.
  • An expression of empathy for someoneโ€™s challenges can mean a lot.

Anxiety is, in many ways, a psychological expression of pain. It lets us know that something is wrong in a way that is impossible to ignore. It hurts to see someone hurt. Just like when we see someone in physical pain and when we see someone troubled by worry, itโ€™s natural to wish to comfort them.

Yet, even well-meaning attempts to give reassurance can be problematic. Here are five to avoid, and five alternatives.

Related: How To Date Someone With Anxiety

What Not To Say To Someone With Anxiety? 5 Things You Should Avoid Saying

1. โ€œWeโ€™ll cross that bridge when we get there.โ€

If someone is telling you about a fear for the future, they are already โ€œthereโ€ in their mind. In ways, anxiety has achieved time travel. You both may know that the imagined dystopian picture of whatโ€™s to come is not helpful. Still, itโ€™s difficult to paint over.

Instead, try,

โ€œLetโ€™s make a plan.โ€

While we can only see so far down the road, creating a plan for potential obstacles can help. If someone is sharing a range of worries with you, offering some assistance with this might be appreciated.

What not to say to someone with anxiety

2. โ€œThis doesnโ€™t help anyone.โ€

Your friend or family member is panicking. Maybe they are crying. Telling them to get it together, that this doesnโ€™t help anyone, is not kind. Of course, they would rather not feel this way. Thatโ€™s not the reality of the situation.

Instead, try,

โ€œI am with you.โ€

Words like this show someone that they are not alone. This means a lot.

3. โ€œYouโ€™re fine.โ€

Itโ€™s nice when we can offer someone genuine reassurance. For example, a medical test showing someone in the clear. In most situations though, we canโ€™t. Your friend is not โ€œfine,โ€ they are anxious.

Instead, try,

โ€œYou must be overwhelmed.โ€

Sometimes an anxious person doesnโ€™t need to hear that they are okay, but to know that you can see that they are in a rough place. Statements like this are validating.

Related: 11 Things People With Anxiety Want You To Know

4. โ€œIf you wouldnโ€™t have _ you wouldnโ€™t be in this situation.โ€

Unless you can offer someone a time machine, this is not productive. Your words also may not be true. We donโ€™t know what would have happened in a counterfactual reality where we had made different choices.

Instead, try,

โ€œNo wonder youโ€™re stressed.โ€

An expression of empathy for where someone is can mean a lot. It will go a long way further than chastising them for how they got there.

What not to say to someone with anxiety

5. โ€œYouโ€™ll figure it out.โ€

You might mean this well, perhaps by showing confidence in their abilities. Yet, when someone is reaching out to you for help, comments like this can feel like being dropped down into the dust.

Instead, try,

โ€œIs there anything I can do to help?โ€

Sometimes, there are practical ways that we can show up for each other. Even the question offers emotional support. If what your friend asks is something you are not comfortable with, or otherwise canโ€™t do, you can say โ€˜noโ€™. Still, showing you want to give a hand is supportive.


Written By Jennifer Gerlach
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
encouraging someone with anxiety

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

30 Journal Prompts for Anxiety When Youโ€™re Feeling Suffocated by Family Tension

When family tension feels overwhelming, turning to a few journal prompts for anxiety can be a comforting and grounding practice. These 30 prompts can help you navigate and soothe those anxious moments.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

If you are reading this, you know EXACTLY what it feels like when family tension starts to weigh down on you. Itโ€™s like

Up Next

5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique for Anxiety: A Great Method to Calm Your Anxiety

If you are looking for a simple but effective coping technique for anxiety, look no further: the 54321 anxiety technique is your answer!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

This technique is one of the easiest relaxation methods you can learn. So, whether youโ€™re feeling overwhelmed or facing a stressful situation it will help you stay grounded in the present moment by usin

Up Next

Music Therapy: How To Use Music For Emotional Healing?

Do you ever notice how your favorite song instantly lifts your spirits when it comes on? Or how it can calm your mind at the end of a stressful day? Well, thatโ€™s the power of music. It is not just some words and sounds, itโ€™s a powerful tool that can also heal us. So, let us explore ways in which we can use music for emotional healing.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Is Your Depression Causing Anger? 4 Crucial Reasons to Address It

Do you find yourself caught in an emotional tug-of-war? Is your depression causing anger? If every little frustration feels like it could explode into rage and snapping at loved ones for no reason has become a common habit, learn the ways to help yourself with depression and anger.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

As an effect of depression, anger is quite common because

Up Next

7 Proven Ways To Process And Heal From Collective Trauma

Facing trauma not only as an individual but as a part of a community is real. It can happen for multiple reasons but grave societal issues are the primary ones.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Hence, sometimes this trauma can be inherited from the family as well. This is a shared collective trauma that elderly family members may pass on to their children and it continue

Up Next

Depression Without Suicidal Thoughts: 8 Signs That You Have Been Ignoring

Have you ever felt like you are going through the motions of daily life but not really feeling present or engaged? Many people experience depression without the extreme of suicidal thoughts, and itโ€™s often overlooked or misunderstood.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Most of the time depression is associated with visible signs of sadness. However, sometimes it does app

Up Next

Anxiety Attack vs Panic Attack: How They Differ and Why It Matters?

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by sudden intense fear? Well, itโ€™s important to understand the difference between an anxiety attack vs panic attack. Because whatever you are feeling is serious for your health and you need proper medical attention.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

In modern lifeโ€™s fast-paced rhythm, intense emotional overwhelm can strike unexpectedly. Whi