Main character syndrome is a term that has emerged from social media platforms. It describes people who see themselves rather like the lead character in a film or book; they identify themselves as the hero and have little interest in those around them.
Think of the people who live stream their lives on platforms like Twitch, and Kick. These tend to be people who lack empathy and overshare. It is worth noting that though it may be linked to certain narcissistic traits and tendencies, main character syndrome isn’t a syndrome.
There is currently no main character syndrome diagnosis listed in the DSM, the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health professionals in the United States.
Related: 7 Signs You Might Have A Toxic Relationship With Yourself
Main character syndrome and Narcissism
Main character syndrome isn’t a diagnosis, but it does share elements of what might be described as narcissistic traits. We all need a certain narcissistic quality to make sure that we know what we need and want, and that we know how to look after ourselves.
At one end these traits are ordinary and healthy. The problems develop when we lose ourselves to the idea of our specialness.
Self-regard and main character syndrome
It is healthy to have a certain amount of positive self-regard. It is part of what helps us to look after ourselves and those around us, but when this veers into inflated self-importance, it might be as well to exercise some caution and restraint.
Of course, that’s easier said than done, the person in the grip of main character syndrome might not have any insight into themselves. It might take a lot of work for them to see beyond the image they prefer to cultivate.
What factors cause people to develop main character syndrome?
We can never leave out a genetic component, but typically this is probably the product of early environmental experience. These are people who may either have got too much attention and grew up to believe they were the centre of the world.
Or possibly too little attention in which case seeing themselves as the main character might be understood as a defensive position. Ignored and wounded they turned themselves into the main character of the world they inhabit, like a bad Marvel comic hero.
The price of a psychological compromise
When we start seeing ourselves as the main character in the story, we cast everyone else into our shadow. Everyone else is incidental and of less importance, they are the extras in our movie, we become arrogant and boring.
We get swept up in our own propaganda, think we are singularly important, and that we can make everything great again. A politician with such a mindset is a dangerous thing, spreading false information and fanning discontent.
As said, the term describes a peculiar type of self-centered focus. These are people who see themselves as the main character in any situation they find themselves in.
We might wonder if a problem with borrowing a term like this, which is better suited to discussing characters in fiction, is that it brings confusion with it.
It blurs the line of whether we see ourselves as real people, or as somehow more special than everyone else.
Is there a value to seeing yourself as the main character
In some ways, by prioritizing our agenda, it might be argued that it may help us to concentrate on the life goals we are trying to accomplish and achieve. It might be said that it will help us to stick to our journey of self-actualisation, our personal mission.
As with all things, we might want to keep what is valuable without getting lost in the more problematic aspects of main character syndrome. However important our goals are we don’t want to forget other people and that is the danger.
We might become so caught up in our own beliefs that we lose sight of reality, and get consumed by our private distortions. Extremism of any variety thrives in such mindsets.
Related: 7 Glaring Characteristics Of A Shallow, Superficial Person
Bad faith and main character syndrome
When we start to see ourselves as special, as more important than others we might start to become rather grandiose and believe that we are more interesting than other people.
Our psychological feet are no longer on the ground, we start to become false and inauthentic. In Sartre’s language we start to live in bad faith.
Anything that distorts our perception of ourselves and those around us can damage our capacity to form mutually satisfying relationships. It can lead to problems with empathy.
Identifying traits of main character syndrome
‘My sister simply must have all the attention in the room. Everything is always about her. As soon as you put her in a social situation she starts to become loud. She dominates the group she is in.
She likes to tell stories and have everyone paying close attention. She always comes across as the hero or the victim of her stories. I find it really tedious and boring.
She has to have all the attention. She has so little empathy for other people.’ – Anonymous client
People who lose themselves to this inflated sense of self-importance can be surprised to discover that other people find them hard work.
They become so cut off from an authentic sense of value that beyond the attention they crave it is hard to know very much about them.
However, we should do what we can to help the person caught up in main character syndrome gain insight into themselves. We must do what we can to help them come back to a shared perspective.
It is only then that they will find a route into satisfying relationships and to helping to build better and safer communities for us all to live in. We don’t need another comic book hero.
Books and Publications
Related: Need For Attention: Why Are Narcissists Obsessed With Attention?
Contact me
Having the chance to speak in a confidential setting is often the key to developing a clearer understanding of what might be behind our personality traits, or how we developed main character syndrome. It may provide the space to understand more about how experience may have shaped us in ways that we haven’t fully acknowledged.
By giving yourself a safe space to look at these things you may start to discover a greater sense of possibilities, and this may be the beginning of developing a greater sense of understanding how to relate to yourself and others, how to start living more fully again, and how to start to have healthy relationships with yourself and other people.
The chance to reflect on ourselves, our feelings and experience can be powerful and transformative. Out of this, you may be able to develop a clearer understanding of how you and your sense of your problems have developed, and what you can change.
I have been working with people on issues such like this for more than twenty years. My work is built around helping you to develop greater insight into who you are, and how you live.
Contact me to arrange a free telephone consultation to discuss how my approach might help you.
Email: [email protected]
Written By Toby Ingham
Originally Appeared On Toby Ingham
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