8 Ways To Build Self Empathy And Stop Beating Yourself Up

Written By:

Written By:

Ways To Build Self Empathy And Stop Beating Yourself Up 1

Stop the cycle of negativity and embrace compassion towards yourself. Learn these 8 essential ways to build self empathy, and shift from self-criticism to self-care!

(Adapted from The Genius of Empathy by Judith Orloff MD, 2024 Sounds True Publishing)

How you treat yourself profoundly effects your health and well-being.

What is self-empathy? Why can it seem so elusive when it is so good for us? It often seems so much easier to have empathy with others than yourself.

Self-empathy is a commitment to being caring rather than shaming or punishing with yourself, especially if you’ve made a mistake.

Ways To Build Self Empathy

Maybe your first impulse is to push too hard or get impatient with your progress. Or you might beat yourself up for falling short at work or when communicating with a loved one.

Related: 4 Tips That Will Help You Practice Self Compassion

Or you are too quick to hate or blame. Without self-empathy these are no-win situations. That’s why self-empathy is so vital to becoming a healthy, empowered empathic person.

Because of the absolute importance of this subject, I’ve devoted a complete chapter to it in my book The Genius of Empathy which is available on your favorite online booksellers or bookstores.

Please review this information in the chapter to get a sense of why I’m framing self-empathy as a healing force in your life. To begin practicing self-empathy here are 8 tips.

8 Ways To Build Self Empathy And Self-Compassion

  • Treat yourself with as much kindness as you treat others.
  • Honor your own needs rather than always putting everyone else first.
  • Have self-compassion for yourself during hard times, rather than blaming and shaming.
  • Set respectful boundaries with unhealthy behavior.
  • Give yourself permission to be around supportive, positive people.
  • Forgive yourself when you make a mistake.
  • Allow yourself to receive other people’s caring, help, and love.
  • Be happy with yourself when you do things well.

Whenever you have physical distress you can connect to it with empathy. First, identify the painful place in your body.

Take a few deep breaths and relax into it. Connecting with your heart in stressful situations, including medical or dental procedures, reduces stress. Keep sending the uncomfortable area lovingkindness. This part of you, whether it’s a bone, an organ, or a tissue, needs your understanding.

ways to build self empathy

In addition, practice the following healing affirmation which I recommend to my patients as a way to access self-empathy and promote self-healing. During the day, keep repeating it to lessen stress or to simply feel good.

Related: How To Improve Your Relationship With Yourself: 5 Ways

I breathe deeply. My body is relaxed.
I am moving forward toward wellness and ease.

Self-empathy means accepting that you are human and can learn and grow. Of course, you will make mistakes or have regrets. You may move forward, slip backward, then move ahead again. You are not perfect. None of us are. Thank goodness.

Perfection is so boring! I love the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which sees imperfections as beautiful and interesting. We are all messy and extraordinary at the same time. Self-empathy starts with being willing to accept your less-than-best qualities as well as your stellar ones.


Written by: Judith Orloff, MD
Originally appeared on: drjudithorloff
ways to build self empathy
Ways To Build Self Empathy And Stop Beating Yourself Up pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How Delusional Confidence Can Help You Succeed (Even If You Doubt Yourself)

5 Reasons Why You Should Practice Delusional Confidence

Society tells us to be humble, to wait our turn, to only claim what we can prove. But what if the secret to success isn’t waiting for proof—it’s acting like you already have it?

Some of the most successful people in history weren’t necessarily the smartest, the most talented, or the best prepared. They were the ones who refused to entertain doubt. They acted as if their success was inevitable—until it was.

Delusional confidence is not about arrogance or ignorance; it’s about choosing belief over fear, faith over hesitation. It’s about backing yourself so hard that the universe has no choice but to meet you halfway.

Up Next

A Gentle Guide To Spring Cleaning Every Part Of Your Life

Spring Clean Your Life in 8 Simple Steps!

If you’ve been feeling stuck, unmotivated, or just a little off, you’re not alone. The start of the year can be tough, and sometimes, it feels like we’re just going through the motions. But with spring finally here, it’s the perfect opportunity to reset, refresh, and spring clean your life—not just your home, but your mind, habits, and daily routine.

Think of it as a fresh start, a chance to let go of what’s been weighing you down and make space for new energy and motivation. Whether it’s decluttering your space, breaking free from negative habits, or simply creating more time for yourself, a little spring cleaning can go a long way.

Here are some things you can do over the next few weeks to glow up and snap out of the funk.

Up Next

The ‘Grass Is Greener’ Syndrome: Why You Always Want More (But Never Feel Satisfied)

5 Toxic Signs Of Grass Is Greener Syndrome: Do You Relate?

Do you ever feel like no matter what you have, something better is always out there? That nagging feeling that your relationship, job, or life in general could be more exciting, or just… better? If so, you might be dealing with the Grass is Greener Syndrome.

It’s that restless voice in your head that constantly wonders if you made the wrong choice. You scroll through social media and see people seemingly living their best lives, traveling to exotic destinations, landing dream jobs, or being in picture-perfect relationships. 

And suddenly, what you have feels dull in comparison. This constant chase for something “better” can be exhausting and, more importantly, prevent you from appreciating the present moment.

Let’s learn more about it if you find yourself getting stuck in the ‘Grass is Gr

Up Next

5 Key Mindset Shifts To Make Your Dreams Come True

5 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Make Your Dream Life a Reality

Mindset shifts are the key to manifesting your dream life.

Every year, I set goals and made vision boards, convinced that this time, things would change. But by the end of the year, nothing had moved. It felt like I was stuck in the same place, no matter how hard I tried.

Eventually, I realized the problem wasn’t my goals—it was my mindset. I had limiting beliefs running the show, quietly holding me back from everything I wanted. My thoughts were filled with self-doubt, and deep down, I didn’t truly believe I could have the life I was dreaming of.

So, I made a change. I started paying attention to my thoughts and replacing negative ones with self-affirming beliefs. I stopped questioning if I was “good enough” or if my dreams were “too big.” Instead, I started acting as if

Up Next

15 Profound Universal Truths To Understand The Human Condition

15 Profound Universal Truths to Understand the Human Condition

Have you ever noticed how some truths about life just hit different? These universal truths about the human condition are the kind that stick with you long after you’ve heard them.

KEY POINTS

Well-written memoirs often share universal truths that connect with readers on a deeper level.

Universal truths are many, and each of us can have our own unique set.

Learning about others’ universal truths can help you find our own way.

In my memoir writing workshops, I always emphasize the importance of each story having a universal truth. While many are w

Up Next

Are You Too Non Confrontational? Here’s How It’s Sabotaging Your Life

Is Being Non Confrontational A Bad Thing? 5 Clear Reasons

Are you the type of person who stays silent even when something bothers you, just to keep the peace? If so, you might consider yourself as a non confrontational personality. But what if I told you that this trait might be doing you harm, more than helping you?

While avoiding confrontation might seem like the best way to maintain peace in relationships and workplaces, it often comes at a high cost. Let’s dive into why being non confrontational is affecting you and how you can strike a balance between peacekeeping and standing up for yourself.

Up Next

7 Surprising Benefits Of Touching Grass (You’ll Want To Do It Daily!)

7 Cool Benefits Of Touching Grass: (You Should Try It!)

Ever heard someone say, “Go touch some grass”? It’s an internet slang often thrown around as an insult, telling people to log off and reconnect with reality. But behind the sarcasm, there’s actual wisdom in those words. So, let us explore the real benefits of touching grass.

We spend hours glued to screens, scrolling or doom scrolling through social media, binge-watching shows, or getting lost in heated online debates. Spending too much time online can leave you feeling disconnected, drained, and overwhelmed.

The constant flood of