Valentines week is just around the corner; the season of first dates. Take a look at the best first date questions to ask him and make him fall in love!
One of the best ways to make sure that your date goes well with the guy you like is by getting to know him better. And what better way is there than asking him some fun great first date questions that will help you know him inside out, and how he is as a person?
How do you feel when you talk to a guy whoโs engaged, energetic, and full of curiosity about you?
Along with totally enjoying the convo, itโs possible that youโll feel compelled to reveal your personality to this person, by sharing your passions, values, and opinions. When this happens, you start to achieve the goal of dating. And, whatโs that?
Getting to know someone and bonding to them.
Great conversation skills open many doors, whether theyโre career opportunities, romance or even scoring yourself a discount on something you want!
In a first date scenario, these skills are the difference between awkward silences that make you want to run out the door and sparkling banter that takes things to the next level.
Now, many of us prepare a mental list of questions ready and waiting to pounce at the first hint of silence. While the concept of this is definitely useful, you run the risk of sounding contrived or, worse, like youโre hosting a cheesy dating game show. What you need isย contextย to help bring your questions into the conversation.
Before we launch into six deep first date questions to ask men and how to throw them out there naturally, there are two very important mindsets you need to adopt first.
Related: 10 Things To Look For On A First Date
Being Genuinely Curious
Our minds can play funny tricks on us, especially when weโre overthinking things. For example, of course, youโre interested in a guy if youโve agreed to go on a date.
In between that moment and the actual date though, youโve probably mentally devised a mess of โwhat ifโ scenarios and scripted questions straight from a how-to manual. In the process, youโve forgotten that youย areย actually very curious about this guy.
Close the door to your future projections. Instead, let your mind ponder things like who he is, whatโs on his mind, what he likes doing, and what motivates him. Let that genuine curiosity build and take over from any other thoughts.
Allowing yourself to be motivated by sincere curiosity about a person leads to the natural flow, engagement, and sparks that make conversation fly.
Being Present
Even if youโve got a list of fantastic first date questions in your mind, theyโre not going to get you anywhere unless youโre truly present with the answers.
After all, itโs the answers that lead to more authentic, stimulating conversations. To really listen to another person, you need to get out of your head and sink into the moment.
The moment doesnโt have anything to do with whether or not heโll like your questions, what heโll think of your responses, or if you chose the right dress to wear. Those types of thoughts are all to do with the future or the past.
When youโre in the present moment, you donโt have past or future thoughts bouncing around in your mind, because itโs open and ready for new information, new responses, and new outcomes.
Stay aware of your thoughts and whenever you notice them drifting away from the present, take a deep breath and go back to open curiosity about him and the exciting anticipation of the unknown. Thatโs half the fun of dates, right?
Embrace the unknown, rather than trying to control the outcome with thoughts that take you out of flow with him โ and the conversation.
Letโs get that conversation happening with six good first date questions and how to throw them out there.
Here Are 6 Great First Date Questions To Ask A Man
Question 1
โWhatโs been the best day of your year so far and why?โ
This is a sensational question that should see a guy light up and talk about a day that meant the world to him. As he does, youโre going to learn about some of the stuff that really matters to him. The only problem is, itโs a pretty random question if it comes out of nowhere. So, like all first date questions, ask this when heโs talking about something heโs loved or something that otherwise puts it into context.
Hereโs how this could play out:
You:ย So, youโve been working hard. Have you had time to have fun lately?
Him:ย Yeah, actually, I got out last Sunday to a go-kart day with the boys and it was so much fun. Great seeing the boys and itโs been a couple of years since Iโve karted.
You:ย ย I havenโt tried karting but I canโt wait to! That sounds like an awesome day, but whatโs been the best day of your year so far and why?
Related: 20 Questions To Ask A Guy To Get Closer
Question 2
โIf you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live and why?โ
When youโve already established that you both like traveling, this is a great question and one youโll both want to vibe on for a while. However, itโs going to sound too weird if you throw it out there in the middle of a chat about the menu.
The topic of travel is likely to come up, so wait for that to happen before asking the question:
You:ย You travel a lot right? Didnโt you just get back from a trip?
Him:ย Yep, I just got back from a trip to Ayers Rock! Loved learning about the aboriginal culture and the way they live. Theyโre so tuned in with the land. Iโm off to the UK in a couple of months too, which I canโt wait for!
You:ย Thatโs so cool, Ayers Rock is definitely on my bucket list and I love the UK. Ok, so youโve traveled to all these places. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live and why?
Question 3
โIf you were a superhero, which power would you choose and why?โ
This question is really random, but so much fun to get into! Again, you canโt bring it up out of anywhere, but whoโs to say superheroes canโt pop up in everyday conversations, as easily as this:
You:ย I just watched Aquaman on the plane home last week โ really cool action scenes underwater! Have you seen it?
Him:ย Sounds very cool. I have no idea what Aquaman is, but underwater action scenes sound cool anyway.
You:ย Oh my god, you donโt know Aquaman?! What happened to your childhood, or you just donโt do super heroes?
Him:ย I did superheroesโฆI watched Smallville.
You:ย Hahaha, you totally just watched it for Lana didnโt you?
Him:ย Possiblyโฆ
You:ย Yeah, well I canโt lie, I even had a crush on her. Tell me, if you were a superhero, which power would you choose and why?
Question 4
โWhat are the top things youโre most proud of achieving?โ
Men love being able to flaunt their achievements and do a little chest-beating to impress you. So, why not give him the opportunity to do that, with a question that also lets you know what motivates him?
To avoid revealing that itโs on your list of prepared questions, wait until a natural scenario like this comes up:
You:ย How did you end up doing sales when you started out as such a quiet kid?
Him:ย Itโs actually a cool story. I really had to push myself for a lot of years to get myself out there and I was the worst salesman on the team for over a year. I kept persisting though and itโs now the second year straight Iโve been able to top the charts. So, Iโm pretty proud of what Iโve been able to accomplish.
You:ย Wow, you should be, thatโs awesome. So, what would you say are the other top things youโre most proud of achieving in your life?
Related: 50 Questions To Ask A Girl to Get to Truly Know Her
Question 5
โIf you never had to work again, how would you spend your time?โ
This question is perfect to prompt him to open up about his values, so you can see what really drives him. To put this one in context, wait for an opening in a conversation about his or your work to lead you in:
Him:ย So, you love your job?
You:ย Yeah, I really do. Itโs so fulfilling to be up on stage and as clichรฉ as it sounds, it honestly just makes me feel alive. How about you?
Him:ย I do enjoy it. Itโs not something Iโll do forever, but it challenges me for right now and itโs got me on a good pitch financially.
You:ย Thatโs cool. So, what if you never had to work again and money wasnโt a factor? How would you spend your time?
Question 6
โWhat has been your best moment in your job?โ
Youโll seriously see a person light up when you ask a question about what really inspires them. Itโll also give you some clear insight into this side of them, in terms of whatโs important in life.
To pop it in naturally, let it flow into a work conversation:
You:ย How long have you been a vet for?
Him:ย About three years now. Itโs a really cool job with a lot of different challenges.
You:ย And whatโs been your best moment as a vet?
What If You Donโt Spot A Natural Segue?
While itโs always best to let questions flow naturally into the conversation, sometimes you just really want to ask something! It is possible to go straight into it. The key is to show you have the social awareness to know that itโs random.
That means, if he questions you on the randomness of it, youโre not going to stutter while thinking, โwell, it was on my previously prepared questions listโฆโ.
Hereโs how to do it:
Him:ย Yeah, all is going well at work and Iโm excited for the next challenge.
You:ย Thatโs very cool. Ok, now I have a random question I want to ask.
Him:ย Yeah?
You:ย Tell me, if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you want to live and why?
Him:ย That is a random question.
You:ย Hahaha, I know. I love travel so much, and I think the country youโd love to live in says so much about a person. So Iโm totally reading your answers.
Him:ย Ok, well, I suppose Austria. Iโve never been but Iโve always heard amazing stories from my dad about how beautiful it is and how amazing the people are.
You:ย Austria hey?
Him:ย Hahaha, yeah. What can you read from me about that?
You:ย I canโt reveal that, Iโd be making it too easy for you!
Related: 50 Red Hot Conversation Starters To Spice Up Your Date
Whatโs happening here is that youโre being honest and lighthearted about the randomness of your question, rather than awkward and trying to hide the fact that you want to know the answer. Your authenticity and genuine curiosity lead to a flowing conversation.
Just remember, when you stay in the vibe of open, sincere curiosity about him and sink into the moment, youโll find that segues magically present themselves to keep the conversation sparkling.
Before you know it, youโll be saying goodbye to that โfirst date questionsโ list and opening up to conversations that take you toward real connection. Have a happy Valentineโs day!
Want to know more first date questions that you can ask a guy? Check this video out below!
Check out Mark Rosenfeldโs personalย websiteย andย blog, for more interesting, helpful, and informative pieces.
Written By Mark Rosenfeld Originally Appeared In Make Him Yours
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