Friends make life brighter, happier, and more exciting, don’t they? Having good friends are truly a blessing because no matter what you go through in life, they will always be there for you through it all. But what happens when instead of good friends, you have toxic friends? Well then, you need to make sure that you stay away from these types of toxic friends!
Just like having a toxic partner can end up destroying your life, having toxic friends can do the same to you; they will lurk in the dark, shadowy corners always ready to pounce on you and cause you pain. Toxic friendships can be hard to spot because no one will openly exhibit their toxicity in front of you.
Rather, they will play all sorts of mind games and tricks to make you believe that they want the best for you, all the while, coming up with devious plans to harm you and hurt you as much as they can.
However, the good news is you can sometimes spot toxic friends, just by being a bit observant. And once you do, you can cut off all ties with them, and end the friendship for good so that they can never harm you again in any way.
Read on to know more about the different types of toxic friends you should always stay a million miles away from.
Related: 8 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship
7 Types Of Toxic Friends You Should Always Stay Away From
1. The One Who Always Flakes.
Flakes are those types of toxic friends who are extremely unreliable and dishonest, who can leave you in a lurch whenever they feel they have a better option at hand. They will make grand plans with you, but flake at the last minute.
It’s perfectly okay to take a rain-check once in a while, but if it’s happening all the time, then your self-confidence takes a massive hit. You gradually start to feel that you are not good enough or fun enough to spend time with.
What gives them away?
This is that friend who always makes plans with you very excitedly and pretends to look forward to seeing you, but when the day comes for you two to meet, they cancel at the last minute. They always have a ton of excuses ready for ditching you.
Sometimes they don’t even turn up, and try to gaslight you into believing that there were no plans in the first place. Worse still, they even sometimes cancel on you for ‘better’ plans and give you all sorts of sad excuses for doing that.
How can you deal with them?
So before your self-esteem takes a massive hit and goes into a downward spiral, see through their toxicity and cut all ties with them, because you deserve better.
Or you can treat them as acquaintances, instead of good friends and stop giving them the respect and importance you have been giving them for all this time, and see what they do.
2. The One Who Is Bossy And Controlling.
Wanting and respecting your friend’s opinion is one thing, but being controlled by them every step of the way is just disturbing and toxic, and that’s exactly how a controlling friend behaves.
They dictate every move of yours and cross all your personal boundaries, which ends up affecting your sense of identity and individuality. Just like romantic relationships, friendships should never be all-consuming.
What gives them away?
Controlling friends will always try to dictate what you should and shouldn’t do, because according to them, “they know what’s best for you and your happiness”. They will try to stop you from being friends with other people, and if you protest, they will cut you off and simply manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.
For example, if someone invites you to a party, your bossy friend will make the decision for you and simply say no to this person on your behalf; you will have no say in this. If you want to watch a certain movie with them, they will reject it and they will decide what movie you both are going to watch. It’s always about what they think you should do.
How can you deal with them?
If you feel that you have a bossy and controlling friend, then the best thing you can do is take some time off from the friendship and put some distance between you two. Build friendships with other people if you want to, but don’t tell your bossy friend that.
Take control of your own life and relationships. If they react badly to you being headstrong and independent, then cut them off for good and do what makes you happy, not what they think makes you happy.
Related: 8 Signs Your Friend Is Actually A Frenemy
3. The One Who Is Overly Competitive.
A little bit of competition is fine between friends, as it can push you to give your best, but if your friend is overly competitive and is always trying to feel superior, then it’s a problem. And a very annoying one at that.
They will always claim that they are your friend, but the very next moment, they will start an invisible competition, that you seemingly had no idea you were a part of.
What gives them away?
If you were made the captain of the sports team, they will go out of their way to be in the spotlight so that they get to take your place. If you are the boss’s favorite, they will go to any lengths to change that, and before you know it, they have become the boss’s pet.
They have this constant, pathological need to feel superior and always be two steps ahead of you, which leads them to do all this.
How can you deal with them?
Overly competitive people, in a nutshell, are toxic friends. End of story. End of discussion. When you have friends, you should be able to rely on them for understanding, support, and loyalty, not be on your toes all the time, because you are concerned that they will take your hard work away from you by working behind your back.
Leave them and focus on having friends who will motivate you and encourage you to do your best, and cheer for you when your hard work pays off.
4. The One Who Is Always Starting Drama.
Drama kings and queens love conflict and are always looking to start one, even if there’s no reason to. Being friends with them is equal to being on an emotional rollercoaster 24*7, with no end in sight, and after a point this gets exhausting.
They are never happy about anything and are always looking to start fights and arguments whenever they feel that things are too ‘normal’. They are toxic friends because they pick fights with you over the smallest of things, which gradually makes you feel like you need to walk on eggshells around them.
What gives them away?
Some people thrive on drama and always look for it wherever they go; drama is something they can never get enough of. For such people, even the most minor setback threatens to unravel them. Have they tripped while walking? They will behave as if they have broken their leg.
Did you forget to call them back even after seeing their missed calls? They will become overdramatic and accuse you of being a bad friend who doesn’t care about them at all. And the list goes on.
How can you deal with them?
Such people can never be good friends with anybody, including you. They hate normality because they have a lot of bitterness, resentment, and anger within themselves. Being friends with such people can be emotionally and mentally draining, especially when you find yourself rationalizing every questionable action of theirs.
Let them go and focus on finding better friends because they are just not worth it. Spending time with your friends should make you feel relaxed and happy, not apprehensive and irritated, so might as well hang out with people who make you feel at peace.
5. The One Who Is There For The Good Times.
This is one of those types of toxic friends who are always there for you when times are good but conveniently disappear if you are going through something hard and challenging. When things are exciting, good, and breezy in your life, you will always find them by your side.
But when you need them by your side when you go through tough times in your life, they are never there. You find it hard to share your feelings and pain with them because they never show even the least bit of interest in helping you get through it all. They might be fun to be around, but they have absolutely no empathy for anybody.
What gives them away?
Planning on going on a road trip? They are in. Planning an amazing New Year’s party? They are so in. Want to go out for drinks every weekend? They will practically teleport to your side.
However, whenever you try to talk about what you are going through, they will dismiss your feelings by saying things like “you are overthinking, just chill out”, “you’re too sensitive” and worse, “you’re being very negative, and I am not in the mood for that”.
How can you deal with them?
Whenever you are around them, you feel alone and isolated. It’s better to have no friends than have friends like this, right? Openly communicate to them that sometimes you want them to be there for you and be a sounding board.
If they react positively to this, then well and good, but if they still behave dismissively, then you are better off without them.
Related: Toxic Friends: 10 Signs Of An Unhealthy Friendship
6. The One Who Is An User.
Users basically exploit you and your friendship as a means for getting their personal interests met. The friendship doesn’t matter as much to them, as do the things you can do for them.
They only care about themselves and their own needs, and they will go to any lengths to get them fulfilled. They are narcissistic, self-centered, and selfish, who will never help you out when it’s time to return the favor. All they know is how to use and exploit people to get their own needs met.
What gives them away?
This one is probably the worst of the lot. Users turn up whenever they need something from you, and the moment their need is fulfilled, they disappear.
They will borrow money from you but never return it back. They will want you to pay for everything, whenever you go out together. They will expect a VIP invite to all your exclusive events. They will expect you to help them out whenever they are in any sort of problem, but will never do the same for you.
How can you deal with them?
People like this are nothing short of dangerous, and because they are so self-centered, they will do anything to fulfill their needs, even if it means hurting you. They will ghost you whenever they want, and come back to exploit you whenever they need something from you. This ultimately ends up affecting your self-esteem and morale and leaves you feeling devastated.
So, make sure that you keep your eyes and ears open, and observe them very deeply. See if they are using you all the time, and if your hunch is right, then cut off all ties with them, before they do more damage to you and your mental health.
7. The One Who Is A Bad Influence.
Your friends should bring out the best in you, and make you feel comfortable in whatever you do together, instead of forcing you to do things that make you look “cool”. Friends who are bad influences can make you fall into some serious trouble too. Good friends never push you to break the law, do something wrong, or harm yourself in any way, but friends who are bad influences do.
Sometimes their actions will be subtle, but you will notice that whenever you are with them, you are embroiled in some questionable situation or the other.
What gives them away?
These people are not just toxic friends, but they are horrible people too who are always up to something shady and wrong, sometimes even at your expense. They will push you to take part in questionable activities and force you to try out things that make you feel uncomfortable.
For example, they will push you to drink more despite telling them that you are done; they will call you boring and uptight if you don’t listen to them, and after a point, you give in because you just want them to shut up. And the next day you wake up with a horrible hangover and find yourself puking your guts out. Or they will ask you to teepee someone’s house, just because it’s fun.
How can you deal with them?
There are no two ways about this – you need to stay away from people like this. Calling them a bad influence is an understatement, and mingling with them will only put you more at risk of falling into trouble.
Focus on having friends who you can trust and who have a strong head on their shoulders, and stay away from people who have constantly shown you what a bad and dangerous influence they really are.
Related: Letting Toxic Friends Go: How To Move on From Toxic Friendships
Having friends is a blessing, but having toxic friends? Not so much. Just like toxic relationships, toxic friendships have the potential to hamper your mental health, happiness, self-esteem, and sense of trust. Be very careful when making friends, and keep your eyes and ears open for any red flags.
If you come across people like these, make an about-turn, and go in a different direction. They are not worth your time and energy and don’t deserve to have a place in your life.
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