It really is confusing at times why exactly we are repelling the very species we want to attract , marry and the spend the rest of our lives with ?!
Of course no one is perfect and surely we have all dated a few duds, players or comittment freaks, but when we seem to be developing a consistent pattern of being single , we have to ask ourselves in which ( and how many!) ways are we contributing to scaring off all our prospects!
1: Being too available
It’s not about playing games or playing hard to get , the main point here is don’t give up your daily plans or rearrange your whole life and schedule just to fit in with a man.
A genuine guy likes to know that the woman he is dating is still keeping her goals, independence and life outside of him. It not only makes him fight for your attention more but it also commands respect.
2: Losing your independence
This isn’t about being a feminist or being afraid to be vulnerable, but rather just about knowing your value and choosing to still pursue your own dreams and wants instead of giving up everything just to please a man.
It’s so important to sustain and nourish who you are as an individual so that you remain whole and able to give back in a relationship.
3: Giving up your dreams
Again, men love a woman who has purpose and isn’t afraid to chase after it. If you throw away everything to just become a submissive “yes woman” then your man may well lose respect and interest in you.
4: Not caring about your appearance
This is a big indication of how much you value yourself. If you don’t love yourself properly how can you possible love a man to your full potential.
Keeping healthy, fit and mindful of your appearance isn’t being superficial or vain, it’s about respecting yourself and your man . Men are visual creatures and just because you have won his heart doesn’t mean you should stop taking care of your appearance.
Major turn off ( for anyone really!) is nagging . Basically by constantly berating your partner you are in effect saying that who he is and what he does isn’t enough. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist for someone to realise that positive words gets positive rewards.
6: Unrealistic expectations
Whilst we would all love the Disney fairytale ending it’s not exactly realistic and sometimes the pressure we put on our men is the very thing that drives them away , purely because we then become either too high maintenance or they feel inadequate to for fill their role.
7: Being too aggressive or passive
This might also translate as a drama queen v.s. a pushover/ yes woman. It’s important to still have a voice and speak your opinions but it doesn’t have to be done with a mega phone, psychotic text messages or the silent treatment.
8: Disrespecting yourself
This could be done through a variety of forms e.g.: compromising your morals and standards, letting yourself go (physically) or perhaps acting in such a way that is morally or socially unacceptable.
You are priceless and you need to remember that your value does not decrease based on someone’s treatment of you.
9: Being too needy / insecure
There is a difference between expecting what is normal and being overly needy simple because we live out of a fear of not being loved ,wanted or good enough.
That’s why it’s so important to first love yourself in such a way that you understand your worth which in turn will mean you will have a healthy understand of give-and -take .
This usually stems from insecurity or fear of rejection within yourself. Trust is an incredibly important building block in every foundation and it is a choice.
If you are dating a man that has a history of cheating or a wandering eye then you are justified and should probably re-evaluate, however if it is purely because you are afraid of getting hurt or constantly compare yourself to every other woman , then it’s time to get some self help and learn to love yourself more.
Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal
Written by Renee Slansky
You May Also Like :