Narcissism is fast becoming one of the most talked-about mental disorders amongst human beings. It is not that narcissism never existed before; it’s just that people are becoming more aware of it. Earlier, narcissism used to be dismissed off as something that is not that big of a deal. However, with time, people are starting to realize that it has the potential to severely affect the mental health of the people in a narcissist’s life.
Normally, you will notice that there are 2 different kinds of people in a narcissist’s life – The ones that don’t know a narcissist and those that know how a narcissist functions.
“Though they are quick to put others down, unhealthy narcissists view themselves in absolutely positive terms.” —Daniel Goleman
If you are someone who is dealing with a narcissist or knows a narcissist, you must keep in mind that they ALWAYS keep these two groups separate. The people who actually know how a narcissist is, will always be “wrong”, “stupid”, “crazy” and “argumentative”. This is their way of portraying themselves as the victim in front of people who don’t really know who they are.
Narcissists know very well that, if people get to know the actual truth about them, they won’t be able to manipulate them or mold them according to their liking.
People That Don’t Know The Narcissist’s Truth And Love Them
There are a lot of people in a narcissist’s life who do not get to know the truth about their narcissism. Such people tend to blindly follow narcissists and even worship them. If you say anything negative about them, their followers will fight you on behalf of them. And this is exactly what a narcissist desires and looks for in the people they are surrounded by.
They’re fueled by flattery, falsehoods, manipulation of their own mirrored emotions and dreams and becoming as obsessed with the narcissist as much as the narcissist is themselves. They want to scream from the rooftops how they’ve found the love of their life, their long lost best friend, or the most loving partner ever. They sing the narcs praises and fuel the common addiction and budding codependency.
“A sociopath is one who sees others as impersonal objects to be manipulated to fulfill their own narcissistic needs without any regard for the hurtful consequences of their selfish actions.” —R. Alan Woods
They don’t use judgments about a character to step back and look at the narcissist’s actions and don’t ask themselves the important questions:
How can a narcissist insist on the fact that they love their spouses, yet constantly cheat on them with someone else?
How can a narcissist claim to be very sensitive when it comes to feelings and emotions, yet treat you in an insensitive manner when the time comes?
How can a narcissist portray himself as a good father, yet never attends his children’s school functions?
How can a narcissist talk about equal rights, yet choose to dominate their partner behind closed doors?
People That Know The Narcissist’s Truth And Hate Them
These are the people in a narcissist’s life who will give you a more HONEST account of who the narcissist is, and it is based on FACT, after having dealt with them.
When a person starts to realize and understand a narcissist’s games and how they manipulate people into doing their bidding, it becomes quite easy to leave. Of course, the narcissist will try to make it seem like it is your fault or you are the reason that things went horribly wrong. But when you know, you know.
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” – Jill Blakeway
People who clearly understand how narcissists are and what a narcissist’s truth is, will always tell you to run as fast as possible. This is because they have experienced the damage caused by narcissists first-hand, and know that the only way to retain your sanity and spirit is to get away as far as possible from them.
People, who gradually get to know the real face of narcissists tend to ask me that,
” how do narcissists get away with doing the same thing every time?”.
The answer is because we let them. Time and again, we have felt that what is happening is wrong, or this person is trying to manipulate me, but we choose to let it go because we love them.
The silver lining in this extremely toxic cycle is that when people get to understand the true nature of a narcissist, they HATE them. And this shields them from being manipulated or coerced by a narcissist ever again.
There are a certain comfort and validation that comes from speaking to someone that really KNOWS how the narcissist’s eyes get beady, how his body language gets squirmy when he’s being called on the carpet for something. To know that I’m telling a story to someone that can smell his narcissism the same way I do, somehow lets my healing seep deep into my bones. I KNOW, they KNOW.
Finally, I think we found catharsis in saying that the one thing we know for certain is that the line of witnesses that would like to be present to watch the narcissist finally get what’s coming to him, is a number well into the hundreds. I pictured myself raising a toast to all those fellow survivors and breathing a big sigh of relief.
Check out this video to know more about how a narcissist functions:
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