When you choose to continuously tell small lies in a relationship, you are not just breaking your partnerโs trust forever, youโre also damaging the relationship to a huge extent. You might think itโs all harmless, but itโs really not.
People tell white lies all the time in their daily lives. But if youโre in a relationship and start a pattern of telling little lies or hiding even the smallest things from your partner, itโs probably not going to end very well. Oftentimes people will hide things from the person they love or claim to be telling these small lies for a few different reasons.
One being whatever they are lying about may seem so insignificant, they donโt โfeel that they needโ to tell them. Or perhaps the โwhat you donโt know canโt hurt youโ mantra comes into play, and they may believe they are saving their significant other from the pain of whatever truth theyโre withholding.
Or, they may rightfully know theyโre doing something that they probably shouldnโt be doing and are taking the cowardโs way out by lying or hiding it from their partner. Whatever the case may be, hiding things and lying about even the smallest of things is sincerely damaging your relationship in many different ways.
Related: Why Partners Lie to Each Other So Much
6 Reasons Why You Need To Stop Telling Small Lies In A Relationship
1. Youโre Setting Yourself Up To Tell Future Lies.
The more you begin lying about the little things, the chances are youโll start to lie about bigger things down the road. The more you lie, the more you get comfortable doing so, or more tempted to do so if you start feeling like youโve gotten better at it.
This can lead down a dark rabbit hole that will do nothing but get you caught up in those lies and could even result in the relationship ending.
2. Youโre Not Only Breaking Trust, But Youโre Disrespecting Your Partner.
Nobody likes to be lied to. If the tables were turned, you would not like your partner going around lying to you, no matter how small the lies may be or seem. And if your partner finds out (which they will), then you not only broke their trust, but youโve disrespected them and the love they have for you.
Youโre disrespecting their right to know the real truth, and youโre testing the boundaries of trust, honesty, and loyalty.
3. Youโre Causing Your Partner to Feel Fear and Uneasiness.
Now your partner has to constantly worry about you lying or hiding things from them. Whether youโve stopped lying or not, your partner will never know for sure since you lied so easily before. Beyond breaking trust, youโre causing an uneasiness in your relationship where your partner has to decipher truth from lies.
Itโs just not fair. Itโs like a ticking time bomb as they wait for your next lie to be uncovered. This induces A LOT of anxiety, stress, and fear that they probably would not have had if it wasnโt for you lying to them in the first place.
Related: 9 Relationship Habits That Are More Harmful Than Cheating
4. You Make It That Much Harder To Believe Youโฆ Even When Youโre Telling The Truth.
Your partner hardly knows the difference between your truth and lies anymore. And even when youโre 100% telling the truth, they still may question itโฆand you canโt blame them because you caused that feeling of doubt.
5. If You Lie About The Small Things, Whatโs Stopping You From Lying About Bigger Things?
Youโre clearly not afraid to risk your relationship if you continue lying about โlittle things.โ And if you do, then whatโs going to stop you from learning your lesson? What will stop you from trying to hide or lie about something much bigger later on?
These are worries your partner will now carry with them, and with good reason. Youโre much more capable of lying about serious things if youโre so quick to lie and hide when it comes to the smaller stuff.
6. Youโre Causing A Rift Between You and Your Partner.
You may think things are fine, but in the back of your partnerโs mind, the lies will always be there. They will always remember how you were able to look them in the eyes and lie, or easily hide something from them until you got caught.
Even if your next fight is about something totally unrelated, theyโll more than likely bring up those lies โ they will resurface one way or another. But at the end of the day, thatโs your fault.
Itโs your fault you caused this rift between you and your partner, and especially if you were lying about something of significance, that will stay with the relationship for a long time. Itโs sad because while you think youโve made amends with your apologies, your partner may find it difficult and it may take quite a bit of time for them to move on from it. Until then, there will be a rift between you whether you notice it or not.
Related: 5 Little Things That Can Hurt The Healthiest Relationships
The point: Lying does nothing for a relationship, no matter which way you may try to spin it. If you cannot communicate with your partner and be honest and open about things, then you should really ask yourself why.
If what you have is real, then you should be able to tell each other anything. You should be able to have adult conversations even when times get tough. Lying doesnโt solve anything, it only prolongs issues and makes any situation worse.
Check out Nikki Rutledgeโs Instagram page, Moonlight And Mindfulness.
Want to know more about how telling small lies in a relationship can greatly damage it? Check this video out below!
Written By Nikki Rutledge Originally Appeared On Writings By Nikki Rae
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
Why does my partner lie about little things?
Some of the probable reasons can be that they donโt want to hurt your feelings, they are up to something dishonest or shady, they donโt care about breaking your trust, or they donโt want any sort of argument and conflict.
How do I get over lying in a relationship?
If your partner lies to you, you donโt have to forgive them right away, because youโre not obligated to. If needed, take some time to process everything and do what you think is best for you.
Can your relationship survive lying?
No relationship has any hope for surviving if your partner constantly lies to you. All the small lies disintegrate the relationship bit by bit, and there comes a point when thereโs no coming back from the damage caused.
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