Are you in a rebound relationship? Is your partner with you only to numb the pain from their last break-up? In most cases, rebound relationships don’t last long as it is mainly a way to get over an ex-partner.
If you are the rebound, then it can be a roller coaster ride for you that won’t end well for anyone.
If you are in rebound relationship, it will only bring you more pain.
So, you think you finally met this amazing person, but something just doesn’t feel right.
Your new love seems to have come out of nowhere, and they appear eager, almost anxious, to be in a relationship with you. However, instead of being happy and excited, you feel a little unsettled.
You used to dream about having this type of whirlwind relationship, but silently you’re questioning your partner’s motives because the relationship is progressing at an accelerated speed.
Although things are traveling in the fast lane, you realize you don’t know much about your partner’s past. You’ve never met their friends or family, you haven’t discussed each other’s visions for the future and you don’ talk about the direction this relationship is headed in.
You start to wonder — are you in a rebound relationship?
Unfortunately, when people are rebounding from a previous relationship, they do so to escape negative feelings of pain and sadness associated with the loss of no longer being in the relationship. Jumping into a new relationship immediately after the previous relationship just ended is typically done to avoid being alone or facing the reasons why the relationship ended.
Rebounding into something new without mourning and processing the loss of the previous partners can limit your opportunities to learn and grow from the relationship.
When a relationship ends, it is important to take time to process what went on, as well as to identify your personal role in the relationship’s breakdown.
Rebounders may seem to fall very hard, very fast for someone new. Their failure to learn from their role in the decline and subsequent breakdown of past relationships makes it more likely they’ll enter into a new one with the same problematic behaviors and excessive baggage.
Here are 12 warning signs of rebound relationship to watch for:
1. The time between you or your partner’s previous relationship is very short.
2. You haven’t met your partner’s friends or family.
3. You don’t discuss your future with one another.
4. You or your partner monitors your ex on social media.
5. You or your partner still have old messages (texts, voicemail, pictures, etc.) from an ex.
6. You or your partner have rushed into the relationship to avoid feeling incomplete.
7. You enter the relationship quickly, despite knowing they aren’t “relationship material”.
8. Your new partner appears overly affectionate with you whenever they run into their ex.
9. Trying to talk about past relationships seems particularly painful, like the equivalent of pulling teeth.
10. You try talking to your partner about their worldview, but they stay clear of heavy subjects, preferring to talk about superficial topics.
11. You are sexual, but not intimate. You don’t hold, embrace, or touch other than during sex.
12. You or your partner participate in endless, indiscriminate flirting. It doesn’t matter who the person is. You or they select the first fish to grab the bait.
Breakups are never easy, but when they happen it’s important to learn from them and take the opportunity to get to know yourself again. It’s a chance to explore what has changed about you and what you are looking for in your next relationship.
Notably, being alone does not mean you have to be lonely.
Sometimes we use the words alone and lonely interchangeably, making it difficult to determine how we truly feel about the dissolution of a romantic relationship.
It’s also important to note you can be lonely in a relationship, especially, if the relationship is unhealthy or has run its course.
Rebounding from one relationship to the next may offer a temporary distraction from negative feelings, but like most things of that nature, you will soon have to face the issues that ended your relationship, as well as the negative feelings you attempted to avoid by jumping into a new one.
Be kind to yourself and the new person you are interested in pursuing by taking time to feel and experience the breakup of your previous relationship so you can give to your new relationship unselfishly, honestly and passionately.
Could you relate with the 12 signs of a rebound relationship? Leave a comment below.
Written By Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford Originally Appeared On Your Tango Republished with permission