What The Zodiac Signs Cry About When They Are Drunk

ARIES: Dropping their Big Mac.

TAURUS: The emotions they’ve been soberly repressing

GEMINI: Their lost phone (it’s actually just in their back pocket)

CANCER: None of their friends noticing that they weren’t having fun at the party

LEO: Getting rejected from the club

VIRGO: Their wasted potential

LIBRA: Realizing they have to work at 8 AM the next day

SCORPIO: No longer knowing anything about the ex they once knew everything about

SAGITTARIUS: Their crush not looking their way all night even though they dressed up specifically to make them fall in love

CAPRICORN: People witnessing them drunk,

AQUARIUS: The Atlantic article about how cows have best friends

PISCES: The eventual mortality of everyone they love