I Can’t Find A Man I Love

I Can’t Find A Man I Love

I Can’t Find A Man I Love

Women are expected to fit into certain parameters or no man will find her attractive to be interested in her. This is what people are usually inclined to think. If a woman is alone, people immediately take something is wrong with her. Maybe she lacks the charm, or maybe her choice of dressing or makeup is not appealing or perhaps her wit and humor are too much for a man.

A woman must always modify herself to fit into a man’s liking otherwise she should bear the curse of singlehood. But, in reality, any woman with a strong personality won’t care to meet such expectations and would snub a man for keeping such vile expectations rather than be his object of love.

Women who care to be themselves are not dying to fit into certain predefined stereotypical standards. They would not be hesitant in revealing their thoughts and views even though society may think it is less flattering for her sex.

Such women are self-reassured and don’t need a man to make them believe in their worth. They love themselves and are pretty tough.

Women with strong characters and independent minds find it difficult to gel with any ordinary man. A man who matches their standards and comprehends their thoughts, a man who interests them and attracts them and suits their idea of an ideal life partner is difficult to come by.

In short they cannot find a man who can make them fall in love.

A woman is single not because something is wrong with her, or she is not pretty or attractive. The problem is the lack of men who can fit their standards. Single women no longer feel unwanted or undesirable because they know it is not their problem. Ordinary men don’t fascinate her. So, clearly the problem is with the other sex.

Where is that man?

A self-aware man is not suffering from an identity crisis and possesses enough individuality to be in sync with a woman who has a mind of her own and knows and loves herself, is non-existent. His views don’t impress her A woman with an independent mind knows her views and stands by them. She wants a man whose views may not be the same as hers, but something she can respect and learn from. He should be capable of holding an intelligent conversation and speak on diverse topics. She is willing to be challenged by a man who can strike the right chords of her mind.

Can he handle his past well?

Everyone has a past and so does a woman. However, a strong and dynamic woman knows to deal with her past and has the capacity to move on confidently. She doesn’t need anybody to tend to her wounds. But, is the man in question capable of handling his past as well she does? Is he living in the present or his mind still lingering in the past? A strong woman needs a man who has learned from her past and moved on.

Is he the one?

Independent and strong women are in no hurry to get into a relationship as they are in complete harmony and love with their own existence. A man who can arouse passion and fire and show the promise of a relationship that is as good as the one she shares with herself is the one she needs. Otherwise, she is quite happy alone.

Can he impress her on the bed?

She knows she is awesome and confident in bed. The men she has slept with before think the same and she is well aware of that. But she wonders if the man now in question will be good enough.

Can he satisfy her as she satisfies him?

Can he make her feel sexually alive? Can he gratify her needs because he derives satisfaction by giving her pleasure? She wants a man who knows sex is not over until both of them are satisfied.

48 thoughts on “I Can’t Find A Man I Love”

  1. After reading this I felt like u have read my mind..I used to feel I m d only girl who feels like this..but thank god many girls like me exists on this earth..very touching n expressive article I must say..great..:)

  2. A woman in her 40+ she has already lived the entire life experience being a super woman in the Man blind backyard: giving birth to a child, , engaged in her career growth, has cooked 1 million time the breakfast and the dinners, even if she was tired to dead. The sad part is that nobody had times to saw that, instead she got the right of being forgotten. Another point is that men are seeing in a beautiful woman, a subject to an excessive primitive domination and possession, but not seeing her many other qualities and he wanted just like a trophy. In the recent days, things are looking pretty simple: the trophy must have a great look without any material investments in her if is it possible, if not they will mouve fast into another option with less values but more easy to manipulate. Coming back to the initial point of the article, I can say that is a free option to be or not to be secure as a woman in a modern world and to be aware that the man of our dream is usually immature, because he was busy with other things all his life until he had the middle age crisis.

  3. A Man’s perspective here: Well, I’m a man who fits all that mentioned above, unless you’re my boss or I need to pass some exams I don’t need to impress you. Some people will like me and some people won’t, it’s their business not mine. I think for myself and I’m not required to meet other people’s expectations/criterias.

    I know my values and I’m open-minded to other people’s values as well, as long as they have a moral conduit. I have developed opinions on life, death, society to the point where average Joe would consider them “esoteric” because they’re more than a plain generalization “A is good, B is bad”. But not “strong opionions”, meaning I’m not giving my opinions if you don’t want to hear them or if I know you’re the type of person who wants a beautiful lie and hates when someone speaks their mind, and I don’t care whether or to believe me or not, I’m not dependent on your opinion. My point is to discuss, share opinions, and possibly learn something new, not to “prove” I’m right, I can get a sense of self worth from somewhere else.

    I’d be a hypocirte to say that I don’t make mistakes, I don’t doubt or that I don’t second thought, but as far as I’m concerned as long as I don’t have clear evidence to doubt or second thought I’ll be bold in my beliefs, if I’m wrong I’ll learn, if I’m right I have a confirmaton which I wouldn’t have had if I haven’t tried to stand up for what I believe.

    Relationships require work, if you’re with a person you like (not “necessarly the right person”, that’s another topic for the love department) then you’re dragged by the desire so it doesn’t feel like work, if you’re with a wrong person… it feels like working. You’re better of alone than doing work. Performance ? the ability to not give up and never say “no” until you try are gold. I’m also very aware of my own intelligence, mostly because I had it tested, without being arrogant or hypocrite about it because that doesn’t make me more special nor lesser than any other person. It doesn’t matter what the external circumstances are, my opinion on me does not change.

    Now for the article. There are 3 points I would like to make. First is “As of now, this man does not exist.”. Basically you want a bold man. Bold in social expectations, bold in beliefs, bold in doubts, bold in love, bold in performance (let’s just use the word “bold” from now on to discribe everything you’re said in the article, not sure if it fits perfectly but is at least close to it). They exist. I don’t have a woman’s perspective but since the social expectation is that men are required to be “alpha males” all men will be or at least try to be confident. Either founded confidence or ignorant confident. And I assume it’s quite hard to tell which is which until you get to know them, but they exist. Nor women and men come in a single version, we’ll all different individuals and in my opinion besides some differences in abilities and great differences in social expectations – we’re not so different, we all come in variations.

    Second is about the qualities, you want a bold men. But do you want a man who IS bold inside, or a man who also APPEARS bold ? Sure, a man can have both, but as far as I can tell those are most of those that belong in the latter category are just the halo effect.

    I’ll use myself for example. I’m not trying to be macho man on the street, nor trying to look cool when I hit on a girl, I’ll even make jokes and make fun of myself, I don’t APPEAR bold because I have nothing to prove, the only time I’m going to “bold mode” is when one of my values is violated. I’m not having the best body either, I’m average in height and slightly overweight. I’m not showing a dominating confident stance either but a casual and relaxed one. I acknowledge that the confidence stance would give me more social recognition but I don’t need it just for the sake of it, I have to have a reason. I guess these qualities of appearing bold and having a good looking body weren’t mentioned in the article.

    So, do you only want a man who meets the criterias in the article of being bold, or a man who besides that also APPEARS bold ?

    And third.. about your expectations of love. This is also an opinion I’m not talking facts. “The plight of the single woman. It’s no longer her problem, but his problem.” why would there be a “problem”, people are different. Have different values, have different hobbies, have different levels of development, it’s not a line ———– of dating leauges “you’re not good enough”, but more like a circle of possibilites, “you’re not good enough because I don’t like you”. You may find the best man rejected by a girl because she doesn’t like him or the pittiest man like by a girl, could be even the same girl that rejected the best man. The gender switched case is also true. Sure there are universally attractive traits, but in the end it’s the subjective ones, the preferinces that make the difference. So for this topic, do you really need “the best man”, a perfect man that can be an example as much as you are for you to fall in love with him ? (or make yourself fall in love with him because he’s worthy) or just a man that you ‘click with’ share values with, in a calm and pleasant not an anxious way ? Even in this article you’ve just discribed some of your values. Some other women may agree with you, while others many not like your “choices of character”. It’s up to each of them to find what they value most, that doesn’t mean your values are more superior or lesser than theirs. So is that what a “good enough” man is, or just your preference ?

    Because you started the article as… “A women has to be like this to be good enough (…) what if a man has to be like this to be good enough”. Basically same thing just gender swiched. The ones who’s got the attention of the other one has done his part, it’s the other one’s job to be attractive too for a possible relationship and that’s basically it, no woman or man favoritism or pressure aka “problem”. So, is attractivity more of an objective thing or more of a subjective things of things in common and preferences ? my take is just be yourself and do whatever you feel like doing, within reason of course.

    What’s your opinion ?

    1. BOOM! I felt the article, though a bit angry and closed minded, sounded with me in a lot of ways but I also loved your response. Women fail to realize that men have just as many social expectations on them of how to look, be, act etc in order to attract a female. Your opinion was refreshing.

  4. Absolutely amazgin article – loving it! This definitely needed to be said out loud. The only really sad thing is that those who need to hear this the most are too shallow to understand it….

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