Why The Harder You Try, The More You Will Fail At It

Author : Lissette LaRue MS NCC LPC CHT

Sometimes, the harder you try, the more you will fail. That’s the hard truth, but a very important truth of life.

It’s heartbreaking to see how many beautiful souls walk around feeling unloved.

Do you see it too?

You can see it in their eyes. The eyes tell you everything.

Perhaps this is you too.

So many of us spend every waking moment trying to fit in, be seen, feel heard, and just be loved.

The constant voices in our heads don’t let us move forward. We hear “you’re not good enough”, “ you need to work harder”, or “you won’t be accepted anyway”.

The worst one of them all is “you don’t deserve it”.

These voices so easily become second nature and convince you that you’re unlovable, right?

It sends you to this sad but familiar place.

It tortures you.

It mocks you.

It blames you.

It keeps you stuck.

Then the cycle perpetuates.

For just about all of us it comes from childhood.

Related: 15 Ways To Be Kind To Yourself (Especially When Feeling Down)

It became “real” that moment you felt left out, hurt, abandoned, bullied, or abused in some way.

It became ingrained the next time something similar occurred.

So you now try even harder to feel loved by others in an effort to escape the void that was created when you were just a child.

You try harder to climb up to the top because you think that’ll do it.

You try harder to put yourself out there because you think it’ll get you seen.

You try harder to appear perfect because you think it’ll bring you the love you seek.

You see, love, it doesn’t work that way.

The harder you try, the more you will fail at it.

The void needs to be filled by you. Nothing and no one outside of you will do.

That’s why the new job doesn’t make you happy anymore.

That’s why the person you’re dating doesn’t make you happy anymore.

That’s why that new toy you bought for yourself doesn’t make you happy anymore.

You keep looking outside of yourself.

What you so deeply desire is already within you.

You already have the love you seek.

Harder Try More You Will Fail

Feel into your heart right now.

Place your hands on your heart and just feel into it. Notice the warmth, the acceptance, the happiness, and the love.

Allow it to radiate throughout the rest of your body.

Do you feel that?

That’s what you’ve been seeking.

You already have it within you.

You’re already good enough.

You’re already seen.

You’re already accepted.

You’re already loved.

Simply because you exist.

I’m so glad you do.


Written By Lissette LaRue 
Originally Appeared In Lissette LaRue
Why Harder You Try More You Will Fail At It pin

Published On:

Last updated on:

Disclaimer: The informational content on The Minds Journal have been created and reviewed by qualified mental health professionals. They are intended solely for educational and self-awareness purposes and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress or have concerns about your mental health, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider.

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Sometimes, the harder you try, the more you will fail. That’s the hard truth, but a very important truth of life.

It’s heartbreaking to see how many beautiful souls walk around feeling unloved.

Do you see it too?

You can see it in their eyes. The eyes tell you everything.

Perhaps this is you too.

So many of us spend every waking moment trying to fit in, be seen, feel heard, and just be loved.

The constant voices in our heads don’t let us move forward. We hear “you’re not good enough”, “ you need to work harder”, or “you won’t be accepted anyway”.

The worst one of them all is “you don’t deserve it”.

These voices so easily become second nature and convince you that you’re unlovable, right?

It sends you to this sad but familiar place.

It tortures you.

It mocks you.

It blames you.

It keeps you stuck.

Then the cycle perpetuates.

For just about all of us it comes from childhood.

Related: 15 Ways To Be Kind To Yourself (Especially When Feeling Down)

It became “real” that moment you felt left out, hurt, abandoned, bullied, or abused in some way.

It became ingrained the next time something similar occurred.

So you now try even harder to feel loved by others in an effort to escape the void that was created when you were just a child.

You try harder to climb up to the top because you think that’ll do it.

You try harder to put yourself out there because you think it’ll get you seen.

You try harder to appear perfect because you think it’ll bring you the love you seek.

You see, love, it doesn’t work that way.

The harder you try, the more you will fail at it.

The void needs to be filled by you. Nothing and no one outside of you will do.

That’s why the new job doesn’t make you happy anymore.

That’s why the person you’re dating doesn’t make you happy anymore.

That’s why that new toy you bought for yourself doesn’t make you happy anymore.

You keep looking outside of yourself.

What you so deeply desire is already within you.

You already have the love you seek.

Harder Try More You Will Fail

Feel into your heart right now.

Place your hands on your heart and just feel into it. Notice the warmth, the acceptance, the happiness, and the love.

Allow it to radiate throughout the rest of your body.

Do you feel that?

That’s what you’ve been seeking.

You already have it within you.

You’re already good enough.

You’re already seen.

You’re already accepted.

You’re already loved.

Simply because you exist.

I’m so glad you do.


Written By Lissette LaRue 
Originally Appeared In Lissette LaRue
Why Harder You Try More You Will Fail At It pin

Published On:

Last updated on:

Lissette LaRue MS NCC LPC CHT

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