Failed Relationships Come Down To One Basic Trait: According To Studies

Failed Relationships Come Down To One Basic Trait: According To Studies

We always expect our partners to just โ€œknowโ€ what we want from them. Thatโ€™s how we know they love us, right?

Wrong.

That is actually where most relationships go wrong, ironically. Thanks to unrealistic expectations that popular culture has created over the years, the idea of love and the perfect understanding partner is somewhat distorted in our minds.

Psychologists have been trying to de-mystify the reasons behind failed relationships for ages, or so it seems but are no closer to finding an answer. But in a rather interesting article by psychologist Katherine Schafler published in the Business Insider, she conjectures that

The Root Of Most Broken Relationships Is Simply An Inability To Communicate Through The โ€œLanguage Of Loveโ€.

The language of love isnโ€™t a specific language per se, not a tongue we speak in with our friends, family or colleagues. It is instead, an expression of love and intimacy and how we communicate those feelings with the people we love. It is a pity however that we have a tendency to take peopleโ€™s emotions for granted, which creates a barrier in communication and give and take of intimate true love.

We might โ€œexpectโ€ our partner to know what we like, and โ€œexpectโ€ them to pleasantly surprise us by bringing us a gift or a token of their love, letโ€™s say flowers or chocolates, but that is a lot of expectations weโ€™re having in our mind. Failure of fulfillment of such expectations can result in resentment and misunderstandings.

Read Why Some People Attract Dysfunctional Relationships

Being Practical Is Not Unromantic.

In lots of cases, partners donโ€™t express their likes and dislikes freely in fear of sounding demanding, but at the same time, expect their partners to decipher subtle hints that they throw out from time to time. That is a very vague move and prone to be overlooked. We have to be open about what we expect of our partners, and be specific about what we appreciate. And no, that does not make the gesture any less romantic, instead there is a chance they are able to reach out to you more when they know what you really will like, instead of lingering on in an abyss of uncertainty.

They Do Care; They Just Have A Different Way Of Showing It.

As we mentioned earlier, the language of love isnโ€™t a specific language; different people express it in different ways. Some people show their love by giving gifts, some people like to prove their love through their actions, some through words- be it offering compliments or proclaiming their love or just pouring their hearts out to the people they care about, some people prefer their physical intimacy to speak for them and some prefer to show their love by spending time with them and integrating them in their lives.

The glitch is, two people in a relationship may not speak the same language to express their love. That is where the trouble arises. One of them may give the other personalized gifts, or say that they love them, but if there is no reciprocity in a similar language, the relationship sours. The other person might be trying to express themselves by doing nice things for you, or be physically intimate but if that is not your language of love, there is a miss.

Read When Love Feels Like An Addiction: 6 Signs of Relationship Addiction

So, Whatโ€™s The Point?

The point is, we all want to be loved in a certain way. And we treat others the way we would like to be treated. Itโ€™s mostly a kind of mirror-effect weโ€™re talking about. For example, if you wanted your partner to not watch television while having lunch and talk to you instead, youโ€™d do the same. But conversely, you might imbibe your partnerโ€™s bad habits too, even if you disapprove of them.

So itโ€™s important to analyze what message youโ€™re sending to your partner, and be aware and observant to receive the signs they send too. Maybe your partner likes lunch dates, but not expensive gifts like you do. It isnโ€™t fair to expect them to know that, and you both have to speak out and understand each otherโ€™s language of love, for the relationship to sustain and flourish.


The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1 is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021

Failed Relationships Come Down To One Basic Trait: According To Studies

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Last updated on:

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Who doesnโ€™t love to be loved? But loving another soul with all your heart comes with a risk; if you donโ€™t do it right, a chunk of your heart is lostโ€ฆ forever. Hereโ€™re some vital love lessons I wish my younger self knew.

Is there a right or wrong way to love? Isnโ€™t love beyond all rightdoing and wrongdoing? Love is supposed to be the language that one heart speaks and the other understands and between them there is nothing off limits, no rules, and certainly no secrets!  

Maybe in a perfect world, love flows as freely as the river, twisting and turning between the rocks and boulders an

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Have you been caught up in a May December romance? Love with shifting power can be a heady mix – but does your relationship have what it takes to stand the test of time?

How rarely does it happen that you meet someone and feel an instant connection with them? It feels life straight from a movie or a classic novel – they sweep you off your feet – or thereโ€™s a tension that keeps building on and you two keep clashing over values and beliefs.

Eventually you both give in to the attraction that you both felt for each other and itโ€™s sweet, intoxicating, irresistible, intense, and all consuming – a psychosexual thing – a sizzling chemistry that makes you feel powerless and you just get carried away.

Itโ€™s only when you start sharing about your new-found love to your friends and family that you start noticing

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Ever found yourself yelling at the screen because a character just canโ€™t choose between two people? The main character is good but so is the second lead? TV shows with love triangles are one of the most addictive tropes and for good reason. They bring drama, heartbreak, and just the right amount of chaos. 

As a viewer, if you’re constantly in an emotional tug-of-war, picking sides, rooting for your favorite couple, and second-guessing everything when the plot twists hit, we have some of the best shows with love triangles for you.

From swoon-worthy teen romances or emotionally messy adult drama, thereโ€™s something magnetic about watching characters finding themselves in the complicated terrain of love, loyalty, and longing.

Letโ€™s dive into some of the best TV shows with love triangles. S

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If you have grown bitter hearing about all the gen-z dating trends, hereโ€™s something wholesome – the Michelangelo phenomenon and how love can help us become the best versions of ourselves.

What Is the Michelangelo Phenomenon?

The great Renaissance artist Michelangelo Buonarroti has famously said that he does not create his sculptures, but merely reveals the figures hidden within the marble, so that others can see what he could see from the very beginning!

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Have you ever been snubbed in a social situation or during intimate time with a partner? Stings, right? And when you get cut off for a phone, it just adds insult to injury. You got phubbed! So, what is phubbing behavior?

What Is Phubbing? Meaning and Effects

Phubbing is a mash up of the two words – โ€œphoneโ€ plus โ€œsnubbingโ€.

Imagine youโ€™re on a date at a nice restaurant and instead of paying full attention to you, (which they should be doing all the time, am I right?) your date or partner keeps checking their phone – high on alert every time thereโ€™s a ping or notification.

Theyโ€™re either replying with โ€œhmmโ€ or โ€œokay<

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“Roommate Syndrome” isnโ€™t just a fun buzzword, it’s anything but. Actually, it’s a massive relationship red flag, and one you should definitely steer clear of. Have you ever felt like you are living like roommates with your partner, rather than truly connecting with them?

If you answered yes, the unfortunately you are in a roommate relationship/roommate marriage. This sneaky little monster creeps in quietly.

One minute you’re finishing each other’s sentences, and the next, you’re discussing who left dishes in the sink for the third time this week.

The funny thing is that it’s not that you don’t care anymore, it’s just that the spark slowly faded and both of you didn’t even notice when. But hey, the good news? If youโ€™re reading this, thereโ€™s still time to bring the that vibe back.

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Many relationships suffer not from a lack of love but from a lack of feeling understood.

Too often, we listen to respond rather than to truly hear our partner.

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Failed Relationships Come Down To One Basic Trait: According To Studies

Written By:

Failed Relationships Come Down To One Basic Trait: According To Studies

We always expect our partners to just โ€œknowโ€ what we want from them. Thatโ€™s how we know they love us, right?

Wrong.

That is actually where most relationships go wrong, ironically. Thanks to unrealistic expectations that popular culture has created over the years, the idea of love and the perfect understanding partner is somewhat distorted in our minds.

Psychologists have been trying to de-mystify the reasons behind failed relationships for ages, or so it seems but are no closer to finding an answer. But in a rather interesting article by psychologist Katherine Schafler published in the Business Insider, she conjectures that

The Root Of Most Broken Relationships Is Simply An Inability To Communicate Through The โ€œLanguage Of Loveโ€.

The language of love isnโ€™t a specific language per se, not a tongue we speak in with our friends, family or colleagues. It is instead, an expression of love and intimacy and how we communicate those feelings with the people we love. It is a pity however that we have a tendency to take peopleโ€™s emotions for granted, which creates a barrier in communication and give and take of intimate true love.

We might โ€œexpectโ€ our partner to know what we like, and โ€œexpectโ€ them to pleasantly surprise us by bringing us a gift or a token of their love, letโ€™s say flowers or chocolates, but that is a lot of expectations weโ€™re having in our mind. Failure of fulfillment of such expectations can result in resentment and misunderstandings.

Read Why Some People Attract Dysfunctional Relationships

Being Practical Is Not Unromantic.

In lots of cases, partners donโ€™t express their likes and dislikes freely in fear of sounding demanding, but at the same time, expect their partners to decipher subtle hints that they throw out from time to time. That is a very vague move and prone to be overlooked. We have to be open about what we expect of our partners, and be specific about what we appreciate. And no, that does not make the gesture any less romantic, instead there is a chance they are able to reach out to you more when they know what you really will like, instead of lingering on in an abyss of uncertainty.

They Do Care; They Just Have A Different Way Of Showing It.

As we mentioned earlier, the language of love isnโ€™t a specific language; different people express it in different ways. Some people show their love by giving gifts, some people like to prove their love through their actions, some through words- be it offering compliments or proclaiming their love or just pouring their hearts out to the people they care about, some people prefer their physical intimacy to speak for them and some prefer to show their love by spending time with them and integrating them in their lives.

The glitch is, two people in a relationship may not speak the same language to express their love. That is where the trouble arises. One of them may give the other personalized gifts, or say that they love them, but if there is no reciprocity in a similar language, the relationship sours. The other person might be trying to express themselves by doing nice things for you, or be physically intimate but if that is not your language of love, there is a miss.

Read When Love Feels Like An Addiction: 6 Signs of Relationship Addiction

So, Whatโ€™s The Point?

The point is, we all want to be loved in a certain way. And we treat others the way we would like to be treated. Itโ€™s mostly a kind of mirror-effect weโ€™re talking about. For example, if you wanted your partner to not watch television while having lunch and talk to you instead, youโ€™d do the same. But conversely, you might imbibe your partnerโ€™s bad habits too, even if you disapprove of them.

So itโ€™s important to analyze what message youโ€™re sending to your partner, and be aware and observant to receive the signs they send too. Maybe your partner likes lunch dates, but not expensive gifts like you do. It isnโ€™t fair to expect them to know that, and you both have to speak out and understand each otherโ€™s language of love, for the relationship to sustain and flourish.


The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1 is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021

Failed Relationships Come Down To One Basic Trait: According To Studies

Published On:

Last updated on:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

5 Love Lessons I Learned The Hard Way (So You Can Save Yourself The Heartache)

5 Powerful Love Lessons That Can Save You The Heartbreaks

Who doesnโ€™t love to be loved? But loving another soul with all your heart comes with a risk; if you donโ€™t do it right, a chunk of your heart is lostโ€ฆ forever. Hereโ€™re some vital love lessons I wish my younger self knew.

Is there a right or wrong way to love? Isnโ€™t love beyond all rightdoing and wrongdoing? Love is supposed to be the language that one heart speaks and the other understands and between them there is nothing off limits, no rules, and certainly no secrets!  

Maybe in a perfect world, love flows as freely as the river, twisting and turning between the rocks and boulders an

Up Next

May December Romances: 4 Ways To Make Your Age Gap Relationship A Success

Your May December Romance: 4 Ways To Make It A Success

Have you been caught up in a May December romance? Love with shifting power can be a heady mix – but does your relationship have what it takes to stand the test of time?

How rarely does it happen that you meet someone and feel an instant connection with them? It feels life straight from a movie or a classic novel – they sweep you off your feet – or thereโ€™s a tension that keeps building on and you two keep clashing over values and beliefs.

Eventually you both give in to the attraction that you both felt for each other and itโ€™s sweet, intoxicating, irresistible, intense, and all consuming – a psychosexual thing – a sizzling chemistry that makes you feel powerless and you just get carried away.

Itโ€™s only when you start sharing about your new-found love to your friends and family that you start noticing

Up Next

The Most Unforgettable TV Shows With Love Triangles: So Are You Team A Or Team B?

11 Best TV Shows With Love Triangles: Romance And Drama

Ever found yourself yelling at the screen because a character just canโ€™t choose between two people? The main character is good but so is the second lead? TV shows with love triangles are one of the most addictive tropes and for good reason. They bring drama, heartbreak, and just the right amount of chaos. 

As a viewer, if you’re constantly in an emotional tug-of-war, picking sides, rooting for your favorite couple, and second-guessing everything when the plot twists hit, we have some of the best shows with love triangles for you.

From swoon-worthy teen romances or emotionally messy adult drama, thereโ€™s something magnetic about watching characters finding themselves in the complicated terrain of love, loyalty, and longing.

Letโ€™s dive into some of the best TV shows with love triangles. S

Up Next

Sculpting Each Other Into A Fine Masterpiece: The Michelangelo Phenomenon In Relationships

Michelangelo Phenomenon: 3 Unique Ways To Empower Your Love

If you have grown bitter hearing about all the gen-z dating trends, hereโ€™s something wholesome – the Michelangelo phenomenon and how love can help us become the best versions of ourselves.

What Is the Michelangelo Phenomenon?

The great Renaissance artist Michelangelo Buonarroti has famously said that he does not create his sculptures, but merely reveals the figures hidden within the marble, so that others can see what he could see from the very beginning!

Up Next

What Is Phubbing Behavior? The Dating Trend You Must Unfollow!

What Is Phubbing Behavior? The No. 1 Dating Trend To Avoid

Have you ever been snubbed in a social situation or during intimate time with a partner? Stings, right? And when you get cut off for a phone, it just adds insult to injury. You got phubbed! So, what is phubbing behavior?

What Is Phubbing? Meaning and Effects

Phubbing is a mash up of the two words – โ€œphoneโ€ plus โ€œsnubbingโ€.

Imagine youโ€™re on a date at a nice restaurant and instead of paying full attention to you, (which they should be doing all the time, am I right?) your date or partner keeps checking their phone – high on alert every time thereโ€™s a ping or notification.

Theyโ€™re either replying with โ€œhmmโ€ or โ€œokay<

Up Next

Living Like Roommates? 7 Subtle Signs Your Relationship’s On Autopilot

Living Like Roommates? 7 Signs Your Relationship's on Autopilot

“Roommate Syndrome” isnโ€™t just a fun buzzword, it’s anything but. Actually, it’s a massive relationship red flag, and one you should definitely steer clear of. Have you ever felt like you are living like roommates with your partner, rather than truly connecting with them?

If you answered yes, the unfortunately you are in a roommate relationship/roommate marriage. This sneaky little monster creeps in quietly.

One minute you’re finishing each other’s sentences, and the next, you’re discussing who left dishes in the sink for the third time this week.

The funny thing is that it’s not that you don’t care anymore, it’s just that the spark slowly faded and both of you didn’t even notice when. But hey, the good news? If youโ€™re reading this, thereโ€™s still time to bring the that vibe back.

Up Next

The 3 Words That Can Instantly Improve Your Relationship

How To Improve Your Relationship? Always Say These 3 Words

If you want to improve your relationship without grand gestures or complicated advice, then three words is all it takes.

This simple phrase can work wonders for emotional intimacy in relationships, helping your partner feel truly seen and heard. If youโ€™ve been wondering how to improve intimate relationships, this might just be your secret weapon.

KEY POINTS

Many relationships suffer not from a lack of love but from a lack of feeling understood.

Too often, we listen to respond rather than to truly hear our partner.

Not every problem needs a solution.