“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.” ― Stephen Fry
Why Depression In Relationships Is Problematic
Depression in relationships can have a potentially toxic impact on you, your partner, and the relationship itself. If you are having trouble with your intimate partner and suffering from depression, this article will have some answers for you.
Depression and relationships don’t typically mix well together, for a variety of factors. One of the more important reasons being because of the very nature of depression, which is about withdrawing and protecting oneself, the opposite of what we look for in a healthy well-attached relationship, which will therefore create challenges for you and your partner.
If you are suffering from depression then you are likely having a hard time connecting with other people and feeling emotional isolation. In a relationship, this can manifest in many ways, but some of the more detrimental being that of insecurity, feeling threatened, or jealousy. And that is not to say that there may not be valid reasons for those feelings but they may also be exacerbated by the depression.
However, despite those challenges, take heart because the really positive thing about depression is that it is one of the more treatable mental illnesses. Needless to say, identifying it early on and getting the support needed for you, your partner and your relationship is essential and can make a big difference.
Depression As A ‘Walking Death’
If you suffer from depression then the description of depression as a “walking death”, might make sense to you. And depression can be just that, an absence of feeling, being flat and numb to many of the events and interactions going on around you, not being able to experience any real joys or pleasures in life, death being the absence of life. Naturally, that is going to take a toll on your relationships and especially on those with your significant other.
Clearly, if this is a description that resonates with you, then your level of depression is fairly severe. As we know depression and the symptoms you experience are individual and can vary greatly. When depression is left untreated, or not being treated adequately, it can lead to suicidal thoughts and attempts.
If you or your partner are experiencing suicidal thoughts and ideas, know that there is help out there and although you may be in the depths of despair, these are feeling that will pass. As it is said, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is an invaluable resource. You can call their 24-hour hotline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or in an emergency call 911 in the US and Canada, or 112 in the UK and many other parts of the world. You can also text the word HOME to 741 741 for access to a crisis counselor in the US or Canada and in the UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808.
15 Signs That Your Relationship Is Suffering Because Of Depression
These are not necessarily the signs of depression, though they can be but rather how the depression manifests in the relationship, there is a distinct yet subtle difference. I do also want to clarify that although these are signs that your relationship is suffering due to depression, these can also be signs of a relationship in distress, which may or may not have anything to do with depression. Context is always important.
Irritability is a symptom, of depression and when something is fundamentally wrong for one person, i.e. feeling a complete lack of confidence, lots of little things are irritating. This is also, at times a distraction from the larger issues at hand.