Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her

Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her

Why the Small Ways We Abandon Each Other Matter

I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her.

I wanted to stay with her. I really wanted to choose her over everyone else. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny, elegant and sensual. She could make my whole body shiver with her quick, dark wit and turned my world tipsy turvy with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms felt like home. I fiercely loved her.

Unfortunately, a very common incident with youngsters, is our ignorance of how to do well in love created stressful conflicts in our relationship. Before long, my once blissful morning reverie gave way to the strained, hurtful ways of our everyday life together.

Choose Her Everyday

I frequently wondered if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.ย 

As the time passed and that thought reverberated through my mind, I chose her less and less. Every day, for five years, I chose her a little lesser that the previous day.

I stayed with her. I just didnโ€™t choose her. And that killed us both.

Choosing her would have meant focusing on the beautiful gifts she was showering on me, without me asking for it. She would bring to me the life I would be grateful for. Her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship and so much of her was inexplicable.

Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace โ€“ or even see โ€“ what was so wildly wonderful about her.

I was so focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her personality that the soft silver lining about her simply went into oblivion.

The more I focused on the bad, the more I imbibed it and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering her the worst of my behaviour. Naturally, this created a tension in our relationship that almost seemed to burst.

Thus did our nasty death spiral play itself out over five years.

She fought hard to make me choose her. Thatโ€™s a foolโ€™s task.

You canโ€™t make someone choose you, even when they might love you.

To be fair, she didnโ€™t fully choose me, either. The rage-fueled explicit she often hurled at me was evidence enough of that.

I realize now, however, that she was often angry because she felt insecure with me. She realised that I chose her less, in my words and my actions, and she was scared of losing me.

Actually, she lost me. I abandoned her.

By not fully choosing her every day for five years, by focusing on what bothered me rather than what I adored about her, I deserted her.

Like the favorite summer flower, I brought her to home and then I left her alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat of our intimate relationship.

I finally introduced myself to the worst days of life. The person I thought was suffocating me made me realise that it was her leaving that choked me.

I never again not choose the person I loved.

If youโ€™re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question: โ€œWhy am I choosing my partner today?โ€

If you canโ€™t find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one. It could be as simple as noticing that in your deepest heartโ€™s truth, โ€œI just do.โ€

If you canโ€™t find it today, ask yourself again tomorrow. We all have days we feel disconnected. Thatโ€™s not lack of feelings.

But if too many days go by and you just canโ€™t connect with why youโ€™re choosing your partner, and your relationship is rife with stress, let them go. Open the door to your heart for another human being to show up. See them with fresh eyes and a yearning heart that will enthusiastically choose them every day.

Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen.ย 

You do, too.

Choose wisely.

Written by Bryan Reeves

Source โ€“ Uplift Connect


Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her
Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her
Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her
Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: How Your ADHD/Autistic Partner Shows Love

Neurodivergent Love Languages

All minds are not wired the same way to express and show love. For those on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, affection might look a bit different. Below are five neurodivergent love languages to help you understand love from a different perspective!

We know about Gary Chapmanโ€™s The Five Love Languages, but these languages arenโ€™t designed for neurodiverse individuals โ€“ who express care and affection differently. Sometimes their loved ones donโ€™t recognize how they share their feelings, or why they act like they do.

So, letโ€™s take a look at ADHD and autistic love languages, which might take on different forms to show how they like to receive affection.

Up Next

Complacency: The Silent Killer Of Relationships

How Complacency Can Ruin A Perfect Relationship

Has your relationship slipped into complacency? When comfort leads to blurred boundaries, itโ€™s time to reignite the spark. Learn how to refresh your connection together!

Can being too comfortable in a relationship lead to the end?

Key points

Complacency can happen over time in relationships.

Becoming too comfortable leads to blurred boundaries.

There are ways to refresh a relationship if complacency sets in.

Up Next

10 Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy: Why Sheโ€™s the Best Girlfriend Youโ€™ll Ever Have

Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy

Dating a tomboy brings an exciting mix of fun, friendship, and romance. When youโ€™re dating a tomboy, youโ€™re in for a relationship thatโ€™s refreshingly different. Sheโ€™s someone whoโ€™s down-to-earth, ready for adventure, and brings out the best in everyone around her.

From shared hobbies to spontaneous plans, being with her is all about enjoying life without pretenses or drama.

If youโ€™re curious about what makes her such an amazing partner, here are 10 surprising perks that prove dating a tomboy might just be the best decision youโ€™ll ever make!

Related: 10 Things You Need To Know If Yo

Up Next

How Playfulness Can Transform Your Love Life

How Playfulness In A Relationship Can Transform Your Love Life

Is your relationship feeling stale or distant? Wondering how to reignite the spark? Discover how bringing playfulness into your love life can create deeper connections and renewed passion.

Looking to revive a dying flame? Try the power of play.

Key points

The four types of relationship playfulness are other-directed, intellectual, whimsical, and lightheartedness.

Other-directed and intellectual are the most highly predictive of relationship satisfaction.

All types of playfulness are related to at least some facet of relationship well-being.

Up Next

7 Types Of Intimacy To Deepen Your Relationship

Ever wondered how to deepen your bond with your partner? Learning these 7 different types of intimacy in a relationship that can bring you closer in meaningful ways. Try it out now!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Intimacy is important, but how do we cultivate it?

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

For some people love doesnโ€™t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So hereโ€™s pebbling love language โ€“ inspired by penguins. Letโ€™s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

What I

Up Next

Can TikTokโ€™s โ€˜Meeting Someone Twice Theoryโ€™ Really Lead To Love?

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory โ€“ is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

So letโ€™s learn how the universe