When you get your heart broken after a break up, it’s hard to accept at first. You may yearn for them but you have to stand back up and pull yourself up. Here are 7 profound reminders to help you when someone breaks your heart.
So, how to to deal with a broken heart? What do you do?
We know that there’s nothing more painful than having your heartbroken by someone you love and trust a lot. It makes you feel sad, depressed and left out. Doesn’t it?
You may keep thinking about it, again and again, feel guilty, cry, seek closure, and then back to square one. You may feel like it’s the end of the world and that you can never repair your emotional wounds.
Related: 7 Ways Your Heartbreak Makes You Wiser
We focus on problems to the extent that we fail to see numerous possibilities right in front of us. Eventually, we feel hopeless and helpless. Hopelessness comes from pessimism and triggers negative expectations about the future. It is believed that hopelessness combined with helplessness increases the risk of suicidal behavior.
According to a study published in Comprehensive Psychology, hopelessness comes from pessimism and triggers negative expectations about the future. The study cited other research findings that found that hopelessness combined with helplessness increases the risk of suicidal behavior.
As per The Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death for all US Americans. But, it’s a third leading cause of death for young people 15-24 years. Researchers identified that relationship or marital problems are one of the top causes of suicide.(1)
But we mustn’t forget that no matter how dark the night was, the sun always rises in the morning. Both suffering and happiness are a choice. If you choose to rise over pain, you will become stronger. For that, you must learn from your mistakes and move forward.
What Do You Do When Someone Breaks Your Heart? 7 Profound Reminders
1. Everything happens for a reason.
Not all romances are made to last forever!
Every person who enters our life has a part to play. They trigger our self-development and personal growth and shape us into who we are today. You are deeply attracted to a person because he or she could give you what you needed most at that point in life. They provide you the opportunity to learn, grow, become self-aware and achieve your goals.
That’s the beauty of life!
With time our thoughts, attitude, and outlook towards life change. Eventually, people fit in our lives might change as well. So, it’s important to evolve with time and accept the idea that people mostly outgrow each other. No matter how challenging it is, you will become stronger.
Say thanks to the universe for giving you cherishable memories with this person and move on. When going through a breakup, it can be quite difficult to have this perspective. As time passes you will find unpleasant feelings have faded.
You are inflicting more pain, by holding grudges, which can damage the next special relationship, you’ll have in the future.
You can control your emotions, but not breakups. Embrace your emotions, introspect your life and re-evaluate your goals and life vision. By making active choices you can open up your mind and heart. You will emerge from the darkness and see that life is a lot brighter and beautiful.
Related: Managing Loneliness and Heartbreak
2. Don’t let heartbreak destroy you
Life is a series of events. If you don’t move on you’ll never know how much happiness is lying ahead.
Why do you let one heartbreak traumatize you so badly?
Most people enter into depression and never want to talk to other men or women because it didn’t work out before. The worst thing is to start being dependent on alcohol and substances and spoil yourselves mentally and physically. It will only amplify your pain and the feeling of unworthiness. Everyone wants to be happy at the end of the day, but without effort. It’s like-
We all have grown up hearing “true love is worth waiting for,” but waiting accomplishes nothing. Just go with the flow
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Acknowledge and accept
Don’t turn yourself into a heartless monster by withdrawing from people, piling up resentment, and self-sabotaging thoughts.
Instead, acknowledge your drawbacks and character defects. Even if your ex was 90% wrong, admit where you went wrong. This step is not applicable to people who are the victim of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship.
Related: How My Journey Through Abuse Transformed My Life For The Better
Accepting your flaws leads to emotional maturity that can well favor your future relationships. Because self-reflection is a liberating process. Being aware of yourself increases your sense of identity. Love and believe in yourself and cherish every beautiful thing on earth. You will see healthy relationships coming your way.
3. Never wait for true love.
So far you must have had multiple heartbreaks. It is actually worth it! You will get to know what to do and not do, what to expect and how to deal with arguments, and all the handy techniques for a successful relationship.
Think of your first breakup.
Does it hurt you the same way as it did years ago?
Experience a heartbreak and think of the day when your heart would heal. It’ll just be that much better when you wake up in love again.
Whether you get closure or not, your heart would heal. Being optimistic and hopeful is a good thing. And no good thing ever dies. Despite all the pain, you might encounter a grand romance.
Related: Why Love Hurts In A Relationship: 5 Unexpected Reasons
4. Seek meaningful relationships
We live in a culture that is obsessive about true love. Instead of hyper-romanticizing, why not seek meaningful relationships?
It’s time to stop believing that true love is everything.
There are plenty of meaningful relationships besides a romantic relationship with someone that can foster your growth, boost self-esteem, and make you happier. A bonding that will always be there when you need it and can lead to satisfying higher-level needs.
These relationships are healthy, caring, and long-lasting. You can build meaningful relationships with friends, parents, relatives, even your pet, and with anyone you couldn’t do without.
Related: 11 Steps to Prepare Yourself For The Big Love You Know You Deserve
Some of your close ones can be a good coffee partner, some other movie buff like you, some can be good advisors, few other shopping partners, and so on. But we often limit ourselves by expecting everything from one person. Don’t limit yourself by placing romantic standards on the beautiful people around you. Surround yourself with all sorts of people with love and compassion, platonic or not, you’re never as alone as you feel.
5. Crying is okay.
We are programmed to associate crying with negative emotions. But it’s just an emotional expression and quite natural for human beings.
I have learned from my experiences that crying is beneficial. Unlike the popular belief that people who cry are weak and immature, science suggests that crying is a self-soothing behavior and it is healthy to open your tear ducts once in a while. (2)
Crying toxins through tears relieves stress while suppressing increases stress and blood pressure. Crying also lowers blood pressure in people who express strong emotions like anger during therapy sessions. Crying calms your mind and slows your breath. The soothing effect on your brain lasts longer.
It’s okay to cry occasionally for something as petty as the end of your favorite series or as serious as the breakup. Emotional tears are unique to humans. (3)
Do you know Japan holds organized crying clubs where people watch sad movies and television shows and read tear-inducing books?
So, the next time you’re feeling heavy, let those tears roll down.
6. They’re just a chapter in a novel.
Think of your love as a book and your ex as a chapter. One or more chapters in your novel may be boring or sad. But until you read other chapters, you will never know if the ending is awesome.
It’s true that nobody takes trauma well and it leaves a strong impact on your life. Just like you don’t skip reading a single page of your novel, don’t let one heartbreak stop you. Life may not always give you want you to want, but it gives you what you need and deserve.
Keep exploring your life! You’ll surely meet a person who is destined to be with you forever.
7. Connect with something important
Feeling things isn’t bad because you have got the courage to love and trust people. You become more empathetic and resilient after a breakup. You realize the value of what you’ve lost and this gives you the clarity of what you want.
Do you know there are great and wonderful things existing outside of your relationship? They are constant whether you are in love or not. How others treated you in life shouldn’t define your actions. You already have the potential to heal your wounds.
Heartbreak helps you open up to new things in life. It can be a hobby or social work that you’ve been thinking about since ages, or therapy or traveling. Most importantly, you start connecting with yourself. You tend to find the meaning and purpose of your life.
Related: The Most Painful Thing When Someone Breaks Your Heart Is Losing Yourself
When someone breaks your heart, your world doesn’t come to an end. I hope you remember these 7 things and move on with positivity. If you enjoyed reading, leave a comment below.
References:
1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5991813/
2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4035568/
3. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1542012412702963
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