What we don’t realize is how many trust issues we are beginning to develop in our minds, we allow ourselves to be distant from trust and don’t allow ourselves to feel vulnerable. This behavior causes us to second-guess ourselves throughout the abuse, and we start to question what is right and what is wrong. Lines become blurred, and in a way, we sadly almost adjust to the abuse because we get used to it.
As a result of all of this, it’ll take a while to regain trust in yourself and to establish it in a future relationship. But if you are patient with yourself, and in time, find the right person, they will earn your trust and you will rebuild your strength to have faith emotionally, and in others.
3. Your self-esteem takes a huge hit.
If you’re hearing negative things about yourself time and time again from someone you love, your self-esteem becomes depleted and you become disgusted with yourself. It may be hard to regain self-confidence, but you 100% have it in you to do so.
You have to come to terms with all of the awful things that were said, and when those thoughts pop into your head, you have to block them out with positive ones. You have to remember why you’re good inside and out. The years of emotional abuse can make you feel like less than what you are. “Worthless, fat, ugly, loser”….whatever was said, you need to block that shit out. Now.
All of those harsh, overwhelming comments and words, regardless of if they were subtle or discreet, still happened. They were put out into the universe, stinging your heart, making you unsure of yourself. You were manipulated. But you need to remember who you are, your self-worth and your inner strength in order to overcome all of this.
4. You feel all kinds of emotions for still missing that person.
Victims of emotional abuse face a very rough roller coaster of emotions long after the emotionally abusive relationship has ended. The hard truth is that in spite of everything that person put you through, there will be days when you still miss them. You will remember all of the good, and you will ask yourself why things couldn’t have just remained good. Moreover, you will be frustrated and upset with yourself for missing someone who hurt you so much.
But it is okay.
It is completely normal to miss someone who used to be your entire world. It would almost be weird if a part of you didn’t miss them. Be patient with yourself. Let time do its thing and help heal your wounds and quiet the inner demons. Let yourself grieve, be sad and angry. Go through the motions. You will know when you’re ready to move on.
5. You may think finding happiness again will be difficult.
It won’t be, I promise. After any breakup, we all go through darker times where it may be difficult to imagine seeing a brighter road ahead. With this type of emotionally abusive relationship, you may even tell yourself you won’t be able to find happiness without this person. This is not true whatsoever.
All of the unthinkable things they said – a part of you is still tempted to ignore it and stay with them because that’d be easier than leaving and starting over. But easy is hardly ever the right choice, and instant gratification does not usually work out in the long run.
Never stay in an emotionally abusive relationship because you think there are no other alternatives, or you think it’ll be easier to stay. The truth is, it will sure as hell be difficult, but in situations like this, we must take the difficult path in order to set ourselves up for a happier future.
I know it hurts now, but that will pass, I guarantee you that. So – use this time after the breakup to do YOU. Surround yourself with friends and family, start traveling more, go somewhere you’ve never been before, start a new hobby. Just enjoy life.