No matter what kind of introvert a person is, universally, all introverts hate small talk. The prospect of engaging in small talk is enough to send them into a tailspin!
I’m definitely an introvert. It’s not that I constantly sit by myself in a corner and never talk to people. I can be social, but I also get overwhelmed in social situations. I’m famous for leaving parties early.
I enjoy spoken word and comedy shows, so I’m forced to go out and see people. Oftentimes, I’m required to speak to people before or after a show and make small talk. Small talk isn’t my jam. I’ve crossed the street to avoid talking to people.
We introverts aren’t great at small talk; in fact, we aren’t good at it at all.
Related: 5 Reasons Why Introverts Love Their Bedroom So Much
Why Introverts Hate Small Talk
A piece in The Huffington Post revealed the rationality behind why introverts hate small talk. The reason introverts would rather hide out in the frozen foods section of the grocery store than talk to an ex-classmate is because it feels completely false and meaningless.
When you’re stuck at a party and find yourself talking about the appetizers with someone you barely know, you’re not learning anything new or even getting to know your conversation partner any better.
Psychologist Laurie Helgoe, author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength, contends that small talk actually blocks true interaction.
“Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people,” she writes in her book. “We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
People who are introverted tend to prefer substantial conversations about philosophy and ideas rather than chit-chat. In fact, introverts can get easily intimidated, bored, or exhausted by small talk. They’d much rather be real with someone and talk about more weighty topics.
Besides feeling fake and pointless, small talk drains an introvert’s limited people energy. If you look at the energy supply that introverts have for social interaction as a battery, their battery gains or loses energy depending on the social interaction.
If they’re speaking to a friend about a topic that fascinates them, their battery is recharged and at full capacity again. However, if they’re waiting in line at the post office and someone they barely know is going on and on about the horrible service, all the energy has drained out of the battery.
Unfortunately, to succeed in the world you need to be able to make small talk without feeling like you need to retire to a cave for a few months. The key to surviving and making small talk tolerable and less draining is to take control of the conversation and steer it toward topics that are actually interesting.
Related: 9 Reasons Why Introverts Make Great Leaders, According To Science
Introverts get energized and excited by ideas. Delve in and ask questions, and if they ask you a question, give them an interesting, more-than-one-word response. Make those questions interesting and creative: “What can you tell me about your latest project?”
The upside to asking questions and listening to the responses with interest is that you’ll be more likable and make a better impression. Knowing that might help make small talk a little easier.
Want to know more about why introverts hate small talk? Check this video out below!
Originally Appeared on YourTango
Published with permission
Leave a Comment