Virginity In A Relationship
Does virginity really matter in measuring the degree of passion and emotional bonding that you share with your partner in a relationship?
‘So, did you have sex before?’
This was a very common question I would face while dating men before I finally found someone who hardly cared about it.
Women are generally asked such type of nonsensical questions because sex is still tabooed in our society. Losing virginity is treated as a sin.
But luckily, things were different with my husband. Perhaps, I am happily married with twins because my husband never really cared about my virginity.
I was not a virgin when I met my husband.
I had dated men before and even slept with some of them. When I met my husband, I had a clear idea what I would want in a sex and knew what best I could offer during an intercourse.
For us, sex was never a priority. The other day, a friend of mine who is a psychologist by profession was telling me that she was noticing a tendency among people that people wanted to date in order to experience sex.
This has been leading to a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks. For us, neither I nor my husband dated because of want of sex.
We never wanted sex. sex was very natural for us. When both of us wanted sex, we went for it, with each other’s consent.
On the bed, I had experience. I knew what sort of positions I liked. I even asked him his favorite ones. We would go for the ones which matched or sometimes, we would choose whatever the other one liked. We even explored the possibilities of trying out different positions and explored ourselves.
For us, sex was not a necessity. For us, sex was something very natural and we enjoyed every moment. I was not shy or coy to reveal my body to him.
I never made him feel guilty of trying to see my body and making me embarrassed because I was never embarrassed. He explored my body not as a woman’s body but as the body of his beloved. I explored his body not as man’s body but as the body of my lover.
Exploring a body in terms of gender and exploring a body in terms of the relationship are two different things. We felt the second one.
That was the difference between being a virgin and having sex for the time and just experiencing sex. I had nothing to know about a man’s body, I had to understand my lover’s body.
I knew what a man’s body looked like. So, I focused on understanding the needs of my man during sex. Understanding his desires, his fetishes, how his orgasm works, what arouses him brought him more close to me.
I was open about my choices too. Sometimes, I would clearly tell him and sometimes he would find out. That was the joy of having sex with each other.
My husband slept with a lot of women before he dated me. Even I slept with men. There was nothing wrong in it.