Letting them go is not always an easy task, it’s not letting the person go who doesn’t love you back but also letting the hope go. Unrequited love can be the worst feeling ever, that longing can tear you apart. Realizing that they will never feel the same can be the first step to get past this and work through your feelings.
“Oh Dear Cupid, next time hit us both”
Recently a reader sent in the question about love:
“How do you deal with someone who you still love but doesn’t love you?”
The simple response is: You don’t. But that would have oversimplified the problem and given no real answers. I would have also been avoiding the question underneath, which is:
How Do You Change Someone’s Mind About Not Loving You?
As part of my upcoming program Reconnection Formula, I cover how to give yourself another chance at love with your ex. In Manifest True Love, I teach the secrets to irresistible, magnetic livability. With my Love Magnet Meditation, you reprogram your subconscious so magnetizing love is so much easier and quicker.
I don’t say all of that to share my product catalog with you. I say it because, in ALL of those programs, there is no way to force anyone into loving you back.
You can give yourself the absolute best shot. You can quit doing all the stuff that drove them away in the first place. And re-ignite their attraction to you. And you can make yourself totally irresistible to the right person.
That’s usually more than enough. In fact, plenty of people have found that once they start really doing these things, they get plenty of love from people they had totally given up on. But you can’t teach a dog to meow or a cat to bark.
That’s because romantic love– by it’s very nature– grows without being forced. That’s why it’s time to look to the future.
Do you want to be stuck in this situation in 5 years, wondering what to do about this person who doesn’t love you back?
No? I hope not. Me either.
That’s why it’s time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start the messy process of falling out of love.
Read: Why We Love People We Can’t Have and How To Deal With It
1. Put The Rejection Into Perspective And Accept It.
The first step to falling out of love is to put this rejection into perspective.
This is one person out of several billion who doesn’t happen to like your flavor.
Maybe just right now. Maybe forever.
But the reason it hurts to love someone who doesn’t love you is that you’re not using reality as your guide. You’re wanting THEM to want something they don’t want. Which is a way for you to feel bad about your own loveability. And, truly loving someone is about truly allowing them to be exactly who they are.
You can love them even though they don’t love you. And, when you’re proud of them for teaching you about love, even though they aren’t going to change, something magic starts to happen.
You start to move out of being stuck in your feelings for them. You can now transform your reality from “it’s over for me because I can’t change this person who I love” (get the violins) to “thank goddess.”
Thank goodness. Now you know they don’t love you. For sure. You don’t need to stick around, wondering and waiting. You have a clear answer. And that’s more than many people get.
2. Leave The Person Who Doesn’t Love You Alone.
The next step to falling out of love with someone who doesn’t love you is to leave them alone in ALL THE WAYS.
If this person who doesn’t love you back is someone like an ex who you have to see for the sake of the kids, avoid dealing with them as much as possible. Falling out of love is a lot like going cold turkey with quitting cigarettes. But the process can’t start while you’re still trying to change their mind. So you have to give up. Let go. Accept them for exactly who they are, at this moment. That’s truly loving them, and loving yourself at the same time.
Read: 6 Ways You Can Get over Someone who Isn’t into You
3. Distract Yourself.
The third step to how to fall out of love is to distract the heck out of yourself so you have time for your mind to process and catch up.
You get a hobby, move on, meet new people, and otherwise thrive. Manifest new love. The works. And eventually, you won’t even think about this person anymore.
See? There are only 3 steps to dealing with someone who you love who doesn’t love you. First, accept it completely. Second, avoid them entirely. Third, distract yourself.
You can do it.
Written By: Elizabeth Stone
Originally Appeared On: Attract The One
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