8 Subtle Signs You’re Dealing with a Covert Narcissist (And How to Handle Them!)

Written By:

Eleanor Finch

Written By:

Eleanor Finch

Subtle Signs of a Covert Narcissist You Need to Know to Save Yourself

You may know how to spot a narcissist, but identifying a covert narcissist can be tricky. Here are some signs of a covert narcissist that you need to look out for!

At first glance, they might seem like the perfect friend or colleague, always willing to help and never asking for much in return. But as you spend more time around them, something starts to feel off. They subtly fish for compliments, often downplay their own achievements, but expect recognition in return.

And when they don’t get the praise they think they deserve, they may act hurt or withdraw but without openly saying it. Well, this person has the signs of a covert narcissist!

signs of a covert narcissist
8 Signs Of A Covert Narcissist

Covert or closeted narcissists may not demand the spotlight like a classic narcissist, but their sense of entitlement is just as strong. They struggle with criticism, unable to take it without feeling deeply insulted, and their responses can be passive-aggressive, which can leave you unsure of what just happened.

It’s a subtle, often hard-to-spot kind of narcissism, and here are some signs that you need to watch out for!

Read More: Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: Here’s How To Get Started

8 Signs Of A Covert Narcissist

Dating a covert narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. At first, they may seem kind and caring, which can make them appear like the perfect partner. However, over time, you might notice certain patterns that hint at their true nature:

  • They may guilt-trip or subtly try to control you.
  • They might seem affectionate one moment and distant the next.
  • They may expect constant praise and reassurance, yet rarely offer the same in return.
  • They may be indifferent to your feelings or struggles and focus only on their own needs.
  • When upset, they might withdraw emotionally or give you the cold shoulder rather than trying to communicate openly.
  • They rarely take responsibility for their actions and often shift blame onto you or others.
  • They might frequently portray themselves as misunderstood or mistreated to try to seek your sympathy and attention.
  • They may feel threatened by your success or attention from others.

Read More: What is Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Signs To Identify And How To Protect

5 Ways to Protect Yourself from a Covert Narcissist’s Manipulation

1. Set Clear Boundaries

You’ve got to know where your limits are, and don’t let anyone, especially a covert narcissist, push you past them. Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate, and stick to it like glue. If they try to guilt-trip you, stand firm. You’re not here to be their emotional punching bag, so don’t let them get away with crossing your lines.

2. Avoid Arguing or Trying to “Fix” Them

Newsflash: you can’t fix a covert narcissist. Trying to change them will just leave you frustrated. They’ll twist every conversation, turning it into an emotional maze you can’t escape. Instead of wasting your energy trying to “fix” them, focus on managing how you react. It’s not your job to save them.

3. Don’t Fall for the Victim Act

Covert narcissists are masters at playing the victim. One minute, they’re the poor misunderstood soul, and the next, they’re blaming you for everything that goes wrong. Don’t buy into their sob story. You can empathize without getting tangled in their emotional manipulation. Don’t let them pull you into their personal pity party.

4. Limit Emotional Dependence

If you’re waiting for them to give you the emotional support you need, you’ll be waiting forever. Don’t put all your emotional eggs in their basket. Surround yourself with friends and family who actually care about you. Their validation is nice, but it shouldn’t be your lifeline.

5. Prepare for Resistance

When you set boundaries or stand up for yourself, your partner may push back or act upset. Stay strong and don’t give in, even if they react negatively. Over time, this can help protect your well-being.

Read More: Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Final Thoughts

Being in a relationship with a covert narcissist requires patience, self-awareness, and strong boundaries. While it’s possible to maintain the relationship with careful effort, it is important that you prioritize your emotional health and well-being above everything. Be mindful of their subtle manipulations and focus on what you can control—your reactions.

Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and support. If the relationship consistently harms your happiness or self-esteem, it’s okay to step away and choose a path that brings you peace and fulfillment. Your well-being should always come first.

covert narcissist

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, , , ,

— About the Author —

Eleanor Finch

Leave A Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The Profile Of A Narcissist Attractor

Profile Of A Narcissist Attractor: 9 Clear Traits They Like

Ever wonder why narcissists seem drawn to you? Could it be your kindness, empathy, or people-pleasing tendencies? Explore how it’s making you a narcissist attractor in this world.

Often a partner of a narcissist is a narcissist attractor, but may not realize it until they’ve attracted more than one narcissist. They may have a narcissist in their family of origin, but not always, and not all children of narcissists end up with one. Not all partners of narcissists were raised in unhappy families. 

People who grew up loving and trusting their parents are also susceptible because they expect others to be loving and trustworthy. Thus, they are less guarded and naive to narcissistic manipulative tactics.

Similarly, it’s untrue that narcissists loo

Up Next

8 Women Who Make Bad Daughters (And Why Their Parents Deserve Better)

Women Who Make Bad Daughters: The Worst Types to Deal With

When it comes to family dynamics, not all daughters are created equal. There are some women who make bad daughters, and even though this may sound very harsh and insensitive, it is the truth for many families.

It’s not about just loving your parents, bad daughters tend to be very difficult to deal with. They can be manipulative, selfish and a pain in the a**.

Whether it’s manipulation, emotional outbursts, or an inability to take responsibility, these traits can create a lot of tension and strain parent-child relationships.

While no one is perfect, there are certain habits that make someone an absolute nightmare to their own family. So, today, we are going to talk about 8 women who make bad daughters.

If you have ever told yourself, “my daughter i

Up Next

11 Painful But Telling Signs A Narcissist Is Done With You

Signs a Narcissist Is Done With You Painful But Telling Signs

If you are tangled up in a relationship with a narcissist, then you must be wondering about the signs a narcissist is done with you. Being with them is like being on a permanent emotional rollercoaster.

One moment they are so into you, and the very next moment, it feels like they can’t bear the sight of you. Narcissists are known to be self-absorbed, manipulative and extremely selfish, and when they decide that you are no longer useful for them, they are quick to discard you like trash.

Yes, it’s painful, confusing and frustrating, but it’s also a blessing in disguise. When a narcissist decides to let you go, they are actually doing you a favor. So, knowing the signs a narcissist is done with you can help you prepare yourself and move on with clarity.

So, how to know if a narcissist is finished with yo

Up Next

6 Phases Of A Relationship With A Narcissist: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Relationship With A Narcissist Phases Of The Toxic Cycle

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with each phase presenting new challenges and realizations. These phases of a narcissistic relationship leave you questioning your self-worth. Understanding these stages can help you navigate the ups and downs of a narcissistic relationship more effectively.

KEY POINTS

Narcissists may manipulate through observation and charm, creating a false sense of bonding.

These relationships have distinct phases, often involving a gradual, potentially traumatizing end.

Understanding these phases aids in healing and setting boundaries.

Up Next

8 Signs of a Petty Person That’ll Have You Saying, “Wait, Really?”

Signs of Petty Person Thatll Have You Saying Wait Really

Do you ever get that feeling that you are the lead actor in a soap opera you didn’t sign up for? Do you think you are dealing with someone who is petty, by any chance?The signs of a petty person aren’t always neon-lit, but once you spot them, you’ll wonder how you missed it.

From holding grudges longer than your Netflix subscription to being the Sherlock Holmes of social media stalking, petty people have a unique way of spicing up life (not always in a good way).

So how do you know you’re dealing with petty people? Let’s break it down and start with trying to understand who is a petty person.

Related:

Up Next

10 Red Flags of a Vindictive Mother and How to Stay Strong

Red Flags of a Vindictive Mother and How to Stay Strong

So, who exactly is a “vindictive mother”? Well, it’s not just a mom who’s a little cranky or gives you the cold shoulder once in a while. We’re talking about those mothers who holds grudges, plays mind games, and never hesitates to make your life harder. Why? Because she can.

A vindictive mother is a malicious mother, who isn’t your regular parent—she is controlling, manipulative, and, at times, straight out cruel.

Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around her? If you answered yes, then chances are you have vindictive narcissist mother. So today we are going to explore what the signs of a toxic mum are and what you can do to handle her.

Related:

Up Next

Feeling Exhausted? 8 Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Have you ever hung out with someone and have left feeling like you just ran a 5k marathon without moving an inch? If you’re nodding along, this is just one of the many signs of an emotionally draining person.

These energy vampires are really talented when it comes to mentally exhausting you, even though you didn’t do anything but have a simple conversation.

Have there been times where you have felt completely wiped after a chat or hangout? Then maybe it’s time to figure out if you’re dealing with an emotionally draining person.

Today, we are going to talk about what is an emotionally draining person, the traits of an emotionally draining person and how to deal with an emotionally draining person.

Let’s start with what is an emotionally draining

— Follow Us —