Shadow Self: 3 Powerful Ways To Embrace Your Inner Darkness

Do you believe that you should denounce your “dark thoughts” in order to pursue “love and light”? The following article tells you how this approach is pushing you away from your authentic self and how your shadow self can help fix this problem!

“Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life.” – C. Zweig & S. Wolf

If you’re truly honest about growing, changing, and living life to the fullest, you will, at some point, come across many parts of yourself that you’ll find difficult – if not completely disturbing – to accept.

These ugly and frightening parts of ourselves are elements of the Shadow Self: the darker side of our nature.

In the domain of psychology, renowned psychologist Carl Jung devoted a lot of thought to this problem of the “Shadow Self”, as he was deeply invested in the research of ancient esoteric knowledge and spiritual scriptures to not only treat the mind of man but his Soul as well.

In response to his serious preoccupation, Jung created the Archetypes model, a concept wherein he believed our unconscious minds are fragmented or structured into different “selves.” These selves attempt to organize how we experience different emotions, situations, and challenges in life. Two of Jung’s major Archetypes are the Persona and the Shadow Self.

Read: Shadow Element Oblivion: Your Shadow Element Based On Your Zodiac Sign

The Birth of the Shadow Self

It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster.– Carl Jung, “On the Psychology of the Unconscious“

So what exactly are the “Persona” and “Shadow Self”? I’ll explore below:

What Is The Persona?

Well the Persona, according to Jung, defines who we would like to be and how we wish to be seen by the world. The word “persona” is derived from a Latin word that literally means “mask,” however in this instance, the word can be applied metaphorically, representing all of the different social masks that we wear among different groups of people and situations.

What Is Shadow Self?

On the other hand, the Shadow Self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions, and embarrassing fears. This archetype is often described as the darker side of the psyche, representing wildness, chaos, and the unknown. Jung believed that this latent energy is present in all of us, in many instances forming a strong source of creative energy.

We are all born pure, like blank canvases. But at some point during our childhood development, we learn knowledge that teaches us to separate things into good and evil. The moment we eat from this tree of knowledge, our shadows are born and we begin to divide ourselves into multiple parts.

Furthermore, in our cultural socialization process, we begin to sort out those traits within us that are acceptable to society (the Persona), and those that are unacceptable (which are later hidden away – the Shadow).

This is where the Persona and Shadow Self go hand-in-hand: the Persona is the lovable face we present to the world while the Shadow is the face we hide from the world.

The creation of the inauthentic but socially-acceptable Persona birthed the creation of the authentic but damnable Shadow. Both are inseparable.

Jung explained the “shadow self” meaning as:

“What we call civilized consciousness has steadily separated itself from the basic instincts. But these instincts have not disappeared. They have merely lost their contact with our consciousness and are thus forced to assert themselves in an indirect fashion. This may be by means of physical symptoms in the case of a neurosis, or by means of incidents of various kinds, or by unaccountable moods, unexpected forgetfulness, or mistakes in speech… a modern man protects himself against seeing his own split state by a system of compartments. Certain areas of outer life and of his own behavior are kept, as it were, in separate drawers and are never confronted with one another.“

Thus, the dark shadow traits that we all possess accumulate in the corners of our unconscious minds, never becoming adequately integrated into our conscious minds because we never see our split state in the first place (due to our psychological defense mechanisms). And so we continue accumulating these dark desires, motivations, and fears.

This lack of awareness of the Shadow Self – and the disconnection from our true Whole self – can be dangerous.

Through observing many of our inner work students, for example, I’ve come across certain individuals who have allowed their Shadow Selves to accumulate for so long that they’ve erupted and overpowered the person through depression or an unconscious accident that ended up manifesting their inner demons. The denial of the Shadow can lead to physical, emotional, psychological, and interpersonal consequences that last for a very long time.

Read: 3 Dark Personality Traits

Repression of the Shadow Self

It’s understandable that the process of becoming civilized requires us to repress aspects of ourselves that do not fit in with the structured ideal of our society. However, it comes at a great cost to us. We are born whole and complete, but we slowly learn to live fractioned lives, accepting some parts of our nature but rejecting and ignoring other parts.

A holiday to a different part of the world will show you how arbitrary some of these “good/bad” divisions are (that create the Shadow Self).

In the West, for example, eye contact is perceived as confident and engaging, whereas in Japan it’s perceived as arrogant and rude. In the Middle East burping after a meal is a sign of pleasure, yet anywhere else in the world it’s seen as vulgar and uncouth. And in America, TV shows depicting violent murders are considered more acceptable than showing nudity or sexual acts, whereas in Europe it’s the complete opposite. These are just a few examples.

Basically, the repression of our negative traits or emotions in society is one of the biggest barriers in any person’s journey towards self-love and living authentically. How can you completely and wholeheartedly accept who you are if there are sides of yourself that you’re too afraid to explore?

Don’t get me wrong, the idea of the “Shadow Self” doesn’t only apply to psychology. Many ancient Shamanic teachings, including the ones I was taught, involved the preparation for an illness or a spiritual death (by ascending into your own darkness or “Shadow Self”) and being reborn in an attempt to provide you with the experience and insight of self-healing and bring that healing wisdom to the people of your tribe.

How Spirituality and Religions Contribute to the Repression of the Shadow

So, apart from society’s ideas of acceptable and non-acceptable behavior, what else causes such great repression of the Shadow Self? In truth, a lot of it actually comes from the endless cornucopia of “feel good” motivational teachings out there.

If you notice, a lot of modern spiritual and religious work revolves around moving towards the “light,” accepting the “light,” and seeking for the “light.” Yet by doing so, we ignore the entirety of what it is to be human! In fact, many of the spiritual and new age teachings out there provide an escape for those who do not want to be responsible for the entirety of themselves and their lives.

Understandably the “light” energies are usually represented with noble values such as love, peace, joy, harmony, and compassion. Many spiritual and religious movements completely ignore or condemn the darker elements such as anger, vengeance, control, fear, shame, competitiveness, jealousy, and lust.

Because these darker characteristics are associated with negativity or “evil,” they’re avoided out of fear and buried even deeper within us. But this is a tragic mistake with dire consequences.

The more our darkness is avoided, the more it grows within us, waiting like a volcano to gush out at any unexpected moment.

The Importance of Integration (vs. Spiritual Bypassing)

Interestingly, many seekers of spiritual growth think that somehow all of the negative qualities within themselves will eventually be transcended as they “awaken to their Higher Selves,” “work through their karma,” or “become more enlightened.”

Yet from my own experience, this is a form of spiritual bypassing: using spirituality to avoid everything uncomfortable within us instead of facing it with honesty and courage. Furthermore, actually turning toward your Shadow Self helps you to embrace these disconnected parts of yourself, creating more psychological and spiritual balance (wholeness). Denying your darkness only creates chaos and disharmony.

The keyword here is “integration,” which comes from the Latin word “Integratus”, meaning to make whole. To integrate an inner quality is to take ownership and responsibility for it, rather than rejecting or denying it. The benefits are many: sanity, healing, greater compassion, calmness, understanding, and wholeness are all to be found in integration.

On the other hand, the opposite of integration is to “disintegrate” – or to become fragmented and divided into pieces. A person that “breaks down” or “falls apart,” for instance, is someone who has been unable to handle stress and who has ignored too many of their personality traits, especially Shadow Self traits to function normally.

In reality, a fragmented person can never handle adversity because they have no whole center, and they’re always handling life from the corners of their personality parts. This is why integration is so essential: it helps us to become whole again.

The Right and Left-Handed Paths

In esoteric branches of Hinduism such as Tantra or Western Esoteric occult teachings, they have what are called Right and Left-handed paths towards experiencing Oneness, Spiritual Enlightenment, or the Higher Self.

Throughout history, the left has always been associated with dark, radical, or sinister elements. Even the etymology of the word “sinister” means “from the left side.” Also, in Muslim, Chinese, Judeo-Christian, and even Hindu religions, the left hand is associated with being the unclean side, which is most likely why some of these cultures use it to wipe their … behinds!

These days, the “right-handed path” is what most of us understand to be the pursuit of positive things such as overcoming personal flaws and limitations, purifying our sins, and anything else that helps us connect to our “higher selves.”

The left-handed path, however, is associated with parts within us that are typically fought against, rejected, denied, and feared, and thus it becomes our biggest inner hindrance, but at the same time, the key to our liberation.

The truth is that we have both hands, not just one, and we must learn to use them in a balanced way if we seek to live a balanced life.

The right-handed path seeks to improve the personal self and overcome its flaws, but the left-handed seeks investigation and seeks to face the shadows in its pursuit of self-care. Just as is represented in the ancient symbol of the Yin and Yang, when you balance both opposites, the dichotomy of right and left will disappear.

Personally, I like to think that at first there was darkness. Unlike light, darkness is infinite. Under every rock, you will find darkness, but light and darkness need each other to come into existence. Unless you learn to first embrace that darkness within yourself, you can never pursue the light of self-love in a balanced way.

Many right-handed new age teachings talk about leaning towards the “higher chakras” and avoiding the lower ones. However, in the long term, this won’t be very helpful. Unless the foundation of your home is solid and stable, no matter how beautifully you decorate and work on the house itself, sooner or later your house will collapse and crumble down.

13 Shadow Self Types

All of us carry demons inside. Sometimes we catch fleeting glimpses of them, sometimes we witness them in full frontal chaos, but for the most part, we ignore and bury their existence either out of fear, guilt, or pure shame. Discovering our demons is a vital part of inner work.

Our inner demons come in many different shapes and varieties. While some are more ferocious than others, others don’t really seem to be all that monstrous at all – until we reap the devilish consequences later on in our lives.

Below I have categorized and ‘cataloged’ 13 different Shadows you might meet on your path. Some overlap with each other and many are interconnected, meaning that it’s not uncommon to possess more than a number of different Shadows: