Healing From Narcissistic Abuse – 9 Helpful Ideas That work

Andrea Schneider

 / 

,
Things You Can Do To Help Someone Heal From Narcissistic Abuse

Is your loved one a survivor healing from narcissistic abuse? The following article offers solutions on how you can support someone to heal from narcissistic abuse and make the process easy for them.

So many of the clients I work with, report to me that their friends and family, although well-meaning, say and do things that exacerbate the pain of healing in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.

People are exposed to this form of emotional abuse in love, work, family, or friendships. Particularly in the area of romantic relationships, I hear so often from clients that friends and family say things such as, “Just get over it! This is taking way too long!” or  “He was a jerk!

Why do you feel like you still love him after all this time?” or ” You sound like the crazy one because you keep talking about her non-stop!” or “I don’t understand why you can’t just start dating someone else and move on.”

These comments are not helpful to the survivor of narcissistic abuse. Although most all well-meaning and empathic friends and family have difficulty witnessing the pain of their loved one and the suffering they are experiencing after being in a relationship with an abuser, there are word choices and actions you can take that are more empowering for your loved one who is going through tremendous emotional pain.

Try to look at this situation as a persnickety illness or infection that is taking a while to completely shake out of the system…and be patient during the process of healing from narcissism and traumatic loss. Your friend/family member will thank you.

Healing from the trauma of narcissistic abuse is a long-term process. Here’s what you can do to help someone recover from narcissistic abuse:

9 Things You Can Do To Help Someone Who’s Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

Here are the things you can do to expedite healing from narcissistic abuse for a loved one.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a challenge
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Is A Challenge

1. Do validate and listen.

To help healing from narcissistic abuse, listen to your loved one’s story and pain. Part of the healing for survivors of Narcissistic abuse is having a safe other(s) witness/hear/validate their story of pain and healing.

2. Do encourage your loved one to get psychotherapy with a trauma-informed therapist.

This form of psychological abuse results in PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and other clinical conditions that require treatment by a licensed psychotherapist.

3. Do educate yourself  on narcissistic abuse:

For example, read my article for The Minds Journal, entitled: What is Narcissist?: A Primer for the Lay Person and Finding Peace After a Toxic Relationship

healing from narcissistic abuse
For Healing From Narcissistic Abuse, Learn More About Narcissistic Abuse

Read: Narcissist Manipulation Techniques

4. Do know that it is NOT your job to heal or fix your loved one.

See #2.

5. Your job is to offer unconditional empathy and comfort to your loved one.

If there is something you do not understand about narcissistic abuse, ask your loved one. They likely will have read a library of articles and books on the subject in their quest to reduce the cognitive dissonance associated with narcissistic abuse.

Read: Singed and Spinning From Gaslighting: An Emotional Abuse Weapon 

6. Do understand that your loved one is in the process of breaking a trauma bond with an abuser.

Please read about what a trauma bond is, why the attachment is like crazy glue, and why your loved one is likely feeling like they are going through withdrawal from a bad drug (albeit temporarily).

7. Do encourage your loved one to engage in self-care,

Including good sleep and nutrition, exercise, and positive social support.

8. Do provide hope that things will be better.

Because they will. Keep helping your loved one to envision what life will be like as free of emotional pain. Healing from narcissistic abuse can and does happen with sustained effort, fortitude, and endurance.

9. Empower him/her in healing from narcissistic abuse.

Pathological people seek out smart, successful, empathic people as targets for their abuse. It is because of their emotional IQ and compassion that the survivor was targeted.  S/he will heal in time and reclaim their wellness.

Read: What Are Traits Of A Psychopath?

emotional abuse
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Includes Healing From Emotional Abuse

If You Want To Know How To Help Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse, Refrain from doing:

  1. Do not blame, shame, or criticize your loved one.
  2. Question the timing of the healing process and how long it seems to be taking to heal (on average, with solid No Contact with an abuser, a survivor may take a minimum of 18 months to really heal from the traumatic relationship, and usually longer even with psychotherapy and other interventions).
  3. Do not encourage contact with the abuser. Part of the healing process is breaking free from a pathological person and going No Contact (or Limited Contact in the case that the survivor shares children / a business).
  4. Do not suggest the survivor is responsible for their abuse. Abuse is never ok. There is no excuse for abuse, and it is not the survivor’s fault.
  5. Do not intervene between the survivor and the narcissist. Allow the survivor to be empowered to seek out his/her own qualified therapy and legal support.
Contributed by the author
Healing from narcissistic abuse can become easier if the victim gets proper support.
9 Things To Help Someone Who’S Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Things You Can Do To Help Someone Heal From Narcissistic Abuse pin
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse – 9 Helpful Ideas That Work
Things You Can Do To Help Someone Heal From Narcissistic Abuse pinex
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse – 9 Helpful Ideas That Work

— Share —

, , , , , , , ,

— About the Author —

Andrea Schneider

Andrea Schneider, MSW, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in San Dimas, CA. She received her MSW from the University of Michigan (the top-ranked social work program in the country) and her B.A. in Psychology from UCLA (#2 in the country).

Responses

  1. The one who used to smile Avatar
    The one who used to smile

    I love this article. Thank you.
    I lost myself, and my friends during the year I was with my abuser. I didn’t want to believe he was a covert narcissist, despite the red flags and horrific outbursts. I believed he was damaged and vulnerable. He is the greatest actor, and I had no idea the whole thing was a con.

    I destroyed my self esteem trying to make him secure… and went from independant and strong to needy and depressed. Which made him want to discard me. I only knew for certain what a monster he was, after I finally got hold of my dignity and left. He had orchestrated it of course, aso now he looks like the victim. I was so trauma bonded to him that I even thought I was the problem for a moment there…. and begged to get him back. Ohhh face palm. Now he has that text to show everyone forever…. I vomited and had the runs for weeks after, never thought my heart could survive agony like this. I will recover, but will NEVER be that shining light that I once was. My innocence, trust, and soul has been desimated.

    I’ve never known anything like this level of emotional and mental pain. And no one gets it.

Older Comments
1 2 3

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Have you ever heard of the term “flying monkeys” or “flying monkeys of the narcissist”? Who are they and what do they do exactly? This article is going to explore everything about who flying monkeys are and what role they play in narcissistic abuse.

‘Flying Monkey’ is the term given to those agents and allies that collude with an abusive person. Their role is to continue carrying out tormenting the victim on their behalf.

If it’s during the relationship, the abuser gets to abuse by proxy as it’s other people that are getting their hands dirty.

If it’s after the relationship has ended or you’ve left that job or left that area, it’s a way of perpetuating the abuse. Again though, the abusers hands are clean as others are doing the work for them.

<



Up Next

4 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Have you ever worked with a toxic boss or toxic leader? If you have, then you know how horrible and malicious they really are, and if you haven’t, then read on to know the signs of a toxic leader so that it’s easier for you to understand what you are dealing with.

KEY POINTS

Poor, toxic leaders demand unquestioning loyalty and service to the leader.

Bad leaders rule by a sense of fear, both of outsiders and of the leader’s wrath.

Good leadership empowers followers, shows concern for them, and benefits the collective.

All too often, people fall prey to self-serving



Up Next

Eggshell Parenting Meaning: 5 Signs You’re Making These Mistakes!

Eggshell Parenting: Signs You're Making These Mistakes!

Parenting is one of the most sincere tasks in every individual’s life that should be done with utmost care and coherence. However, the relationship between parents and their children is often tampered by the mental, and behavioral issues of the parents.

Thus, mood disorders and the violent nature of parents can affect the child’s life. Eggshell parenting is one such consequence. In this blog, we will guide you to understand eggshell parenting and show you the risky spots you should avoid.

What is Eggshell Parenting?  



Up Next

Top 6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History and Their Psychology Unleashed

Top Most Notorious Serial Killers In History

Some of the most horrifying and notorious murder cases in criminal history are those in which the most notorious serial killers caused irreversible harm to society by their horrific deeds. Motivated by an intricate network of psychological, social, and frequently pathological elements, these infamous persons have perpetrated atrocities that persistently enthral and appal the public.

Every instance sheds light on the dark psychology of serial killers, from Ed Gein’s horrific acts to Ted Bundy’s deliberate and planned killings. Investigating these sinister tales reveals not only the specifics of their heinous deeds but also the patterns and reasons behind them, providing insights into one of the most ghastly aspects of human nature.

6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History



Up Next

The Role of Childhood Trauma in Serial Killers: A Deep Dive Into 5 Serial Killers and Their Upbringing

Role of Childhood Trauma in Serial Killers: Case Examples

The public’s fascination with the mystery surrounding serial killers has long sparked conjecture regarding the motivations behind people’s horrific behavior. The role of childhood trauma in serial killers has received a lot of attention, despite the fact that the reasons underlying their actions are complex.

In this blog, we explore the childhood experiences in serial killers to gain insight into their terrifying world. We aim to uncover the intricate relationship between pathology and upbringing by delving into the trauma in serial killers and unfavorable conditions that shaped these individuals’ early years.

This will illuminate the shadowy pasts of some of the most infamous murderers in history. Come along with us as we venture into the darkest recesses of the human brain, where the roots of violence are planted.



Up Next

Man vs Bear Debate: What is the Right Choice for Women?

Man vs Bear Debate: Is It Safe To Choose a Bear Over Man?

Even though Leonardo Di Caprio has proven that men can beat a bear in strength and intelligence, let’s not get carried away and remember that a bear can be more powerful than men. You can guess that we are here to discuss why women chose bear in the man vs bear debate.

The real question is, what threatens women more? Getting mauled by a bear and meeting a horrific death or getting violated by a man??

Women are inclined to the second option in the viral Man vs Bear debate.



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.

— Follow Us —