They say you have to date a few wrong ones before you meet the right one; more often than not, the love your life comes after the mistake of your life.
Well, at least that’s what I’ve believed (and learned) in love.
For the longest time, I was devoting all my time and attention to the wrong people. I was loving men who didn’t really care about me, weren’t sure they wanted to stay. I’ve been told that the love of your life comes after the mistake of your life, and honestly, that’s really true.
You spend so much time and effort trying to make a relationship work only to realize that the person you gave your heart to isn’t interested in being with you for the long term. You pour yourself out, thinking you’ve found ‘the one,’ only to find you are a temporary person in their eyes.
And that heartbreak—it hurts like hell.
The beautiful thing about love, though, is that it’s so simple when you finally find the right person.
When you finally find the love of your life, you realize why it didn’t work out with those prior people. You begin to understand that the pain and heartache are all worth it, to finally find yourself in the right one’s arms.
And although it hurt and was a deeply messy journey, you appreciate the times you kissed the wrong lips, fell into the wrong arms, and spun yourself in circles trying to please the wrong person. Because it led you to where you are. Right here, right now.
Honestly, you find the love of your life when you’re not really looking.
Sometimes you find love in the moments after a breakup when you’re still healing. Sometimes it’s in the simple moments where you’re working on yourself and love is the last thing on your mind.
You’ve distracted yourself with other obligations—you aren’t in desperate need for love, and honestly, that’s why you happen upon it.
After being broken by the wrong one, after being mistreated or abused, after losing ourselves, we realize that our worth is not dependent upon our relationship. So we focus on putting ourselves first. And that’s when the right person happens along our path—not because we were searching for him or her, but because it’s finally the right time.
Love comes to us when we finally stop worrying about the timing, the ‘ifs’ and the ‘whens’ and let it naturally find us, right where we are.
It’s been said that the love of your life comes after the mistake of your life and I can’t help but believe that’s true. After we love the wrong person, we’re focused on ourselves. We’re confident in what we want and how to choose the next person we want to let in. We’re no longer angry, but looking to become better people.
And that’s when the right person comes in and softens our hearts. That’s when love finds a way into our souls and reminds us that we’re so worthy of it.
That’s when we let go of the past and understand that the wrong people don’t define us or our ability to love again. And so we step forward, we trust, and we let ourselves love and be loved by the right people—the ones we should have been with all along.