Work can sometimes feel like a never-ending rollercoaster of deadlines, meetings, and never enough coffee. But fear not, for we have gathered a treasure trove of humorous and funny work quotes that will make you chuckle in recognition and provide a much-needed escape from the pressures of the job.
These funny work sayings capture the essence of work stress with a healthy dose of humor. They will remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles and that finding a way to laugh at the madness can be the best coping mechanism.
These funny work quotes will bring a smile to your face and lighten the weight on your shoulders. So take a break from the endless to-do lists, grab a cup of tea (or something stronger if you dare), and let the laughter flow as we explore the lighter side of work stress together.
Remember, laughter is the secret ingredient that will help you keep your sanity intact in the face of looming deadlines and never-ending projects.
Related: 35+ Funny Quotes About Work Stress
40+ Rib-Tickling And Funny Work Quotes
1. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx
2. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
3. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
4. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard
5. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
6. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins
7. “The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” – Dennis Miller
8. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald
9. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
10. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson
11. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
12. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.” – David Letterman
13. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” – Anonymous
14. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” – Stanley J. Randall
15. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
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16. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” – Henny Youngman
17. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’” – Don Marquis
18. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
19. Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” – J. Paul Getty
20. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
21. “A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” – William C. Feather
22. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” – Anonymous
23. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” – Ronald Reagan
24. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
25. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
26. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
27. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” – Woody Allen
28. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams
29. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
30. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
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31. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Unknown
32. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
33. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
34. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
35. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
36. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
37. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
38. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
39. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
40. “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
41. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
42. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” – Anonymous
43. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” – Don Herold
44. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
These sarcastic work quotes and funny work quotes serve as a friendly reminder that we’re all in this together, navigating the unpredictable terrain of office dynamics and the daily grind. They offer a light-hearted perspective on the challenges we face, turning work stress into a source of laughter and camaraderie.
So, the next time you find yourself buried under a mountain of paperwork or caught in the crossfire of office politics, take a moment to reflect on these witty, comical, and funny work sayings. Allow yourself to chuckle and find relief in the shared experiences they capture.
Related: 5 Signs of Workplace Burnout
Which of these funny work quotes was your favorite? Let us know the sarcastic work quotes and funny work sayings that tickled your funny bone in the comments down below!
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