Oh, you are one of those feminist types?! Perhaps you should tone down your words a bit; they are too straightforward and blunt. Just do not say anything too progressive in front of these relatives! Do not wear these kinds of clothes, what will others say! Cover yourself! Calm down! Women do not look nice when they are angry!
These are the kind of responses women hear every day, every single time they choose to do something for themselves and not have a second thought about what other people might think. We are subjected to so many restrictions and stereotypes in our society that living as a woman feels suffocating, almost like an imprisonment from time to time. And god forbid if you are an independent, feminist woman who has her own mind and speaks for herself, you are hated to the core.
Small Acts, Powerful Resistance
It is easier to blame women than to hold men accountable. As I identify myself as a feminist, I find my solace in the small acts of feminism that I indulge in every day, whether it is my work, school, or the art that I create. Every time I do something that empowers me, I find the autonomy and prowess within my capabilities as a feminist.
I was at a social gathering where someone started talking about their views on how women should be very polite and have a vision to eventually get married and start a family. The man, probably in his forties, started rambling on about the idea of a perfect woman and how young girls and women are getting wrongly influenced by the ideals of feminism. I found myself enraged by the mere mindset of these words and questioned him- Why is it only the job of a woman to nurture and take care of the family? Why does she have to be married and have kids to be called an ideal woman?
And the very ideas of feminism that you think are corrupting young girls are the reason they are seeking empowerment in the first place. There are a lot of notions that our society still holds when we talk about feminism and the ideals of perfection in women.
As I navigate the regressive ideals laid down by society as a feminist, my daily acts of feminism include standing up for myself in the tiny endeavours I engage in. Whether it is not entertaining the joke that was cracked upon to make me feel small, or holding my stern gaze with a man who is staring at me incessantly to make me uncomfortable. I live my days with pride as I embrace who I am and where I am headed.
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Becoming the Main Character and Choosing Not to Shrink
In classrooms and at work, I hold my head high and say what is on my mind with assertion and confidence. No matter how terrified I feel to keep my point across or how insecure I feel when I am the youngest or the least qualified in the room, I find my authority in not shrinking myself and my thoughts, even when others think I am not enough.
The only way we can challenge the patriarchal world we live in as women is by integrating tiny acts of feminist courage in our day-to-day lives and living in alignment with who we beckon to be. If we do not believe in ourselves and the competence we behold, the society we live in will leave no stone unturned to make us feel small and diminish our confidence as women.
Every day I step out in the world, I promise myself to do something that will help me reinforce my belief in myself. This helps me be at peace with who I am and where I am headed. As I stride into my everyday chores, every time I face a difficult situation, where I feel self-doubt, or I am questioned on my mindset, I try to remind myself of every time I have faced a situation that seemed difficult in the past, but I conquered it with my might. I keep a folder in my phone of every achievement I have, of every opportunity I seized, every rejection I had and every little win I embraced. This helps me find confidence in my abilities and reminds me of how far I have come.
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Another activity that I do that reinforces my self-trust within me is looking at my life like a movie journey from an external lens. I envision myself as the main character of a movie, and how every event that has taken place till now is all a part of the plot, and my life is unfolding as a series of upleveling to become who I dream to be. I find joy and hope in romanticising my daily life, as I step into the main character energy, embracing my wins and losses, honing every facet of who I am.
Living as a 23-year-old feminist woman who tries her best to challenge the big old ideals of patriarchy every day, I find my joy in spending time with myself that forces me to look within. It compels me to question my darkest parts, my deepest thoughts and accept myself as who I am.
The notion of empowering ourselves to be feminists in everyday lives is not to hold grandiose gestures or gallant acts; it is simply in the quiet acts of believing in ourselves, in holding our heads high and finding the courage to go after what truly makes us happy.
-Hridya Sharma
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