“He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are.”
On paper, he’s everything you could want or everything you think you want. Handsome. Successful. Charismatic. Deep. He makes you feel something different. He makes you feel sometimes like you’re the only one he cares about. He might say all the right things. Maybe you’re already so emotionally invested in this thing you can’t imagine looking back. You’ve invested both your time and heart into this. You think wow he’s everything I want in a person.
You’ve put him on this pedestal but at the expense of raising him higher, you’ve lowered yourself.
You see value in who you are, only in those moments where he is the one praising you. And then in that moment where things aren’t perfect and he backtracks, you think it’s because of you. You think so highly of him that it’s you that has messed up or done something wrong.
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What you fail to realize is you aren’t at fault. This has nothing to do with you. Because you are the one who is all these things. You’re beautiful and of value and worthy of the type of love that doesn’t make you feel defeated. You deserve someone who isn’t this figment of your imagination but the real thing. He’s not the sun. You are
You deserve someone who adores you as much as you adore him. You deserve someone who is going to make you their world just as you think this guy is your world.
Real love isn’t picking you apart and giving bits and pieces of you to make someone else feel whole and complete. Because I think that’s what this guy is doing to you. I think he’s using you to make himself feel whole. He’s using you emotionally and physically to fill a little bit of a void he has in his own life.
Darling, I know you think he’s perfect. I know you think the world of him. I know you can’t imagine your life without him a part of it. But he’s not the sun. You are.
But you shouldn’t associate or love someone who allows your light to dim just to make themselves seem brighter.
Because that isn’t loving and it isn’t healthy.
I know there are moments where he makes you really happy and in the bad times, that’s what you hold onto. The good times are what make you tolerate it. But the good times and his good moments shouldn’t be so far and few between. It is good and bad for everyone but you’re blinded by who he really is because of who you want him to be. You want him to be this person he isn’t. But he’s not the sun. You are.
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I see it. Everyone sees it but you don’t. You don’t see his true colors and you don’t see yours either. Because if you saw yourself the way I do and you saw yourself for how beautiful you actually were, you wouldn’t tolerate this bullshit and that’s what this is, it’s complete bullshit. How he treats you is complete bullshit.
He’s not the sun.
The fact that you cry is complete bullshit. The fact he makes you feel inadequate is bullshit and I know part of you is tired of it too. I am so tired of it as well. I’m tired of hearing that you are settling and not getting what you deserve. Because you are so much better than him. You are so much better than this. You deserve so much more.
I’ll always stand by you and support any decision you make when it comes to your relationships. But it’s hurting my heart to see yours break because of someone who doesn’t see your value.
I love you and I know it and I know part of you knows it too that you deserve more than this.
Because he’s not the sun. You are.
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Written by Kirsten Corley. For more of Kirsten’s work, follow her Facebook fan page.
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